Gadzooks....

Hi Stephen,

I've needed some giggles today, so I went to this web site: DAMN YOU AUTO CORRECT.com:

I love these damned things.  Of course, most of these people are using an iPhone, which makes it all the funnier, because my hubby works for Apple.  He gets a kick out of these too.  He actually said, "Ya know, a month after this iPhone came out to the market, I thought, "I should collect some of these funny autocorrects, and put 'em in a book...but the problem was, how would I collect them?" Well, now there's a web site---much to his dismay, that he did not personally create---that makes us both laugh ourselves sick.  People just submit their OWN goofs of texting, the text message gets categorized, and then the hilarity ensues. BRILLIANT!

The reason I need giggles is because Pete and I are putting our entire nest egg into a formal written offer on this damned house.  We found a web site that has current stats on the house, and discovered that the current owners have not paid their 2010 or 2011 property taxes.

HA!! This one cracks me up too....

Ah well....as I was saying, we're basically selling our souls, and signing our lives away.

And we'll probably be incurring the Money Pit wrath once we sign those papers.

I'm sitting here cryin', I'm laughing so hard.  Even peed a little.  Oh God what the HELL are we DOING?!!  He's gonna sink every last DIME we've GOT into this house, even some of his 401K money---and we're gonna be so house poor for so long, it's going to suck the big one.

And this is PRICELESS... (for GOD'S SAKE MAN, do NOT tell PETE about this!!!)

 THE BOOK!!

And if the home inspection is a bust, we're HOMELESS!!!!

WITH NO PLAN B!!!

Here's one that you will like.....Mr. Portuguese singin' man.....

I mean it Stephen, DO NOT TELL PETE ABOUT THIS BOOK!!!  He'll cry like a friggin' baby....seriously....it was HIS IDEA!!! (Or so he says)...

So, we're going to the house tomorrow afternoon, to meet with the realtor, and take another walk-through before we sign the official offer to buy the house.  I am a nervous wreck.  What if they say NO....what if they totally DISS US, what if they are jerks and won't even budge on the negotiations, the counter-offers, and the closing costs, all that stuff?? 

Or worse, what if they say YES---then we are instantly impoverished, and have to move all of our shit in 60 days or less!!  How the HELL can we do all THAT?!! It's IMPOSSIBLE!!

Here are a couple of music related ones you'll like...

And what would the Best of Damn You Auto Correct BE without a Wal-Mart reference?!!

Ok ok, I'll try to calm down and not hyperventilate tomorrow, but this is HUGE man, I mean freakin' HUGE...I've never bought a house before...I mean, my name won't even be ON the damned thing, (I don't think it will, since I don't have a job), but great GADZOOKS I may need some valium and a good hitachi wand session.

Either that, or I'll have to go up to the attic and bring down the sybian.  One or the other, doesn't matter really. Both are quite good for whatever ails ya.

Here's my last one...

Okay, I'm off to bed, to try and sleep, and not dream about Tom Hanks falling through a hole in the floor while stuck in a big rug..."Fanna-Fanna-Bo-Banna-Bo-Nana-Nana-Fo-Fanna...Fee-Fi-Fo-Fanna....FA-NAH!!!"  That movie was hilarious.  But not really.  Not when you're just about to buy a house.  I hope it's not a lemon.  I hope there's nothing wrong with it. ARGH!!!!

Bye for now.  If I survive tomorrow afternoon without my head exploding, I'll write again soon.

Love, Rebecca