I hope you're enjoying your weekend...and, ya know, I may only be 43 years old...*(keep in mind, that's 3 years OLDER than John Lennon was)*...and I know you're 62 right now...but I am starting to think maybe I'm getting too OLD for heavy metal music. SIGH. That is, I love the music itself, but the CROWDS of IDIOTS, REDNECKS, ALCOHOLICS and IMMATURE ASSHOLES who go to festivals like Mayhem, really turn me off in a huge way.
First of all, we're probably among a VERY small number of mid-life couples who attend, secondly, we do not smoke, NOR do we drink, NOR do we have tattoos, NOR do we have piercings everywhere, NOR are we skinny, NOR are we stoned on marijuana...like 99% of the people who go to this thing seem to be. So, it felt to me like we were fish out of water, really, and I was getting so agitated and annoyed, I very nearly beat some ass while I was there. (I think the loud music helps the violence in me escalate a bit)!!
DISCLAMER: I am NOT, I repeat, NOT, usually a violent person...but when you're listening to Machine Head, Trivium, Megadeth, Godsmack and Disturbed all in a row, well, the adrenaline starts to rush and, when provoked, I can very easily become an EVIL BITCH ON WHEELS. Keep in mind, these are mostly white-trash, illiterate 20-something's, who don't know their own heads from a hole in the ground, and therefore, they don't seem to understand ANYTHING except swearing, and yelling and violence. So, when in Rome...
We were sitting in the handicapped area (not where the wheelchairs were, but behind them), because Pete has had a hip replacement also and it hurts him sometimes if he walks for a long period of time. So, he's on the end seat, right on the aisle, next to a BARRIER that the staff put up to BLOCK the aisle...however, 9 out of 10 people near us for some INSANE reason, didn't seem to know what a BARRIER IS, and decided to squeeze right through it, bumping into PETE every time. Well, after awhile, I noticed he was starting to get annoyed, so I said, "Trade me seats and I'll start kicking some white-trash ass." But, he didn't want to start anything...even though I was ready to go off. I mean, you can only stand something like that for about 5 minutes...10 tops...ya know? But 50 or 75 people bumping into you, and doing it every few minutes, well, that was just too much.
I finally started YELLING at the top of my lungs at people...(much to Pete's embarrassment, but I don't give a shit, they pissed me off), "HEY SHITHEAD, THIS IS A BARRIER, WHICH MEANS GO AROUND THE OTHER WAY!" It didn't seem to matter though, they just kept doing it the whole time we were sitting there. Then there were people standing directly in front of us, videotaping Godsmack, and we couldn't see a friggin' thing---I finally yelled, "HEYYYYY!!! WE CAN'T SEE, YOU IDOIT!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!" And the guy turned around, gave me a dirty look, I growled like David Draiman of Disturbed at him, with an absolutely evil face, and he walked away.
Then, ohhhhhhh, then, this fat ugly chick (why do most Pittsburgh women have HORSE FACES, or MAN faces??), was sitting in front of us near the wheelchair area, (though she and her fat-ass husband were NOT handicapped at all), and she began to light a cigarette. I TOTALLY lost my cool at that point, got up, went over to one of the staff members (Miss Oblivious, I nicknamed her), and said, "IF THAT BITCH LIGHTS UP ONE MORE TIME, I AM GOING TO KICK HER FUCKING ASS. YA WANNA DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT FOR ME PLEASE?! MY HUSBAND IS ALLERGIC TO SMOKE AND MIGHT JUST PUKE ON EVERYBODY." She apologized, then went over, and told the woman "No smoking."
Then, a few minutes later---I couldn't believe it---but that fat bitch did it AGAIN! My head nearly exploded off my shoulders. If there's one thing I HATE more than anything, is being in a NON-SMOKING AREA where people decide to SMOKE because they apparently can't READ. (Signs posted everywhere). I got up and yelled, "GET YOUR FAT ASS UP OUT OF THAT HANDICAPPED CHAIR AND WALK TEN FEET OVER TO THE SMOKING AREA, YOU STUPID BITCH!" But, she didn't seem to hear me, and I noticed she had an empty 12-inch tall Budweiser can sitting on the ground next to her, and one in her hand, so she was drunk as hell and apparently "didn't remember" being told not to light up...merely 5 minutes before. ("Didn't remember," my ASS). So I told the staff member, "There's going to be some MAJOR ass-whoopin' going on here if it happens again." Sure enough, 5 minutes later, the bitch does it AGAIN!! At this point, I got up out of my chair, and made like I was going to jump over the bannister to grab her---my hands wrapped as though I'd get them around her neck to choke the life out of her, and I made sure Miss Oblivious saw me----and she ran over to the lady again to tell her to knock it off. Finally the fat lady and her stupid ass husband got up and LEFT. I yelled, "GOOD RIDDANCE."
Pete was like, "Wow, girly-girl, calm yourself down...chill out...don't go all apeshit over this stuff...they're really not worth it..." And I said, "Ya know, I realize these idiots are not worth my time and energy, but if they provoke me, dammit, I'm going to start getting UGLY, so just promise to bail me outta jail if the night gets out of hand, ok?" He says, "Think of them just like those other morons on the highway that you tell ME to ignore, because they're not worth it..." I said, "Well tonight if we see any of these drunk fuckers on the highway, we'll run 'em off the damned road into a tree!"
So then we began to giggle a little bit at how upset I was, (silly me, I should probably take up drinking just to be more mellow), and that's when we decided maybe we're just getting too old for this kind of crowd. This revelation made me feel a bit sad though. I said to Pete, "Ya know, I was NEVER that immature, NEVER that STUPID, and NEVER that obnoxious...what the hell has happened to people?" He said, "Uneducated, unmotivated, underachievers really have no clue about anything, never learned what manners were, never got the concept of self-respect or self-esteem, and most of them lead sad, pathetic lives."
It was then that we decided to walk around when Disturbed took the stage. We have seen them twice before, so hearing them was fine---we just wanted to get the hell out of that damned pavilion. So we walked around to a vendor, and bought a t-shirt for each of us, and then Pete wanted to buy some hot sauce, (he loves hot sauce, the hotter the better), but we had to go all the way down the hill to the other end of the place to get it. When we get there, the vendor dude says, "Oh, we can't sell it to you until AFTER the show." Pete blinked, and said, "So you don't WANT my money then? Why the hell can't you sell it to me until AFTER the show? This IS "after the show" for us, because we're LEAVING." The vendor dude said, "Well, that's just what we were told, we can't sell it to anybody until the show ends." I said, "Oh, I see, because these idiot 20-something's might break the glass and throw it at somebody, right? It's considered some kind of WEAPON? Well, guess what, we're NOT 20-something's, we're in our MID-LIFE, even older than YOU, and we're LEAVING, so it's perfectly FINE to sell it to US." But, he still refused. So, undaunted, Pete and I walked to the other end of the place, to the vendor there, and complained about it. They sent one of their employees over to that other stand, and brought us back two bottles of the hot sauce. What a bunch of shit.
Anyway, they won't even let you have the CAP to a $4.50 bottle of WATER when you buy it. Apparently THAT is a weapon too...and I said, "Well isn't that cute, go ahead, take the cap, I happen to have the bottle of water inside a thick bottle holder sleeve that I carry around my shoulder with a long strap---which is something I can whip around and around above my head, and clunk somebody right in the kisser if I wanted to cause some major damage to another human being, but okay, whatever, go ahead and take the CAP away from me." Does that make ANY sense?! What a friggin' bunch of bullshit, that was just ridiculous. Then, the prices of the FOOD were ridiculous---it cost us $36 for a double cheeseburger, fries, and 3 chicken tenders. GODDAMNED GOUGERS.
This was probably our LAST Mayhem Festival. We were both so damned disgusted by the end of the night, we were glad to get the hell out of there. Godsmack was AWESOME though, very enjoyable, that lead singer was HOT AS HELL, sexy sexy sexy, and we had a lot of fun with them. Megadeth, well, we couldn't understand a single word they screamed. Disturbed, EXCELLENT as always. Another band, "Trivium" was pretty good, I guess, but I'd never heard of them. We stayed long enough to hear about 5 songs of Disturbed at the end of the night, then we left to beat the crowd and traffic home.
Oh, here's the blurb (poorly written I might add), from our local newspaper about Meatloaf taking a dive: (Lamest headline EVER)....
Oh, and before I go, now that you think I'm a wicked, evil, violent pain in the ass, (which I am not), here's a photo that should make you go "Awwww!!" to reassure you that I'm really a good kid....(and I really DO look like a KID in this photo, cracks me up)...I look like I'm 12....hehehehehe.....bad hair day.
We got this $50 inflatable pool at Rite Aid, which is a whole 2.5 feet deep....funny, huh?! Pete bought it so that my sister (who owns a large above-ground pool with a deck built all around it), will have something to guffaw about on her ride back to Michigan after seeing our huge-mongous house and feeling jealous about it while she's here....my dog LOVES to swim, and kept jumping in and out of the pool! She jumps high through the air whenever I splash water at her when she's outside the pool too, and then jumps in on TOP of me, which is what she did here...we have so much fun, that dog and me!!
(I'm wagging my finger at my mom, telling her "Don't DROP my iPhone in this pool, woman!") hehehe
She was laughing so hard she nearly dropped it...
Ah well, I have lots of photos of the concerts at Mayhem, and some video too, but I am too tired tonight to download them all and put them on this blog, so I'll do it another time. Thanks for listening to me vent about the idiots at the festival. People just plain SUCK.
But YOU, dear Sir, are the exception to that rule. XOXOX
Bye for now.
Love, Rebecca
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