Happy weekend to you...

Hi Stephen,

Tonight I went on a "gallery crawl" with Pete and his friend Simon.  I don't know if they have those in CA or not, but it's when all the downtown art galleries and shops stay open much later than normal, and serve beer, wine, and snacks, while showing off their various art exhibits and items.  It's fun, you just walk from place to place, peek in, walk around, have a drink, and move on to the next place.  Pete's favorite place is the Toonseum, (Cartoon Museum), and we enjoyed going there to watch him have fun.  He even bought a membership, that's how much he loves that place....and he loves DC Comics.....so tomorrow night, he's taking me to the Warhol Museum (a very bizarre but kinda cool place), to see the DC Comics Exhibit.

Anyway, so far nobody that I have alerted to the mylife.com thing seems at all concerned or upset, or worried.  I know it's a data mine, I know that there are hundreds of them on the internet, and there's really no way to control any "public" knowledge about a person, but some of that stuff just doesn't SEEM like it should be "public knowledge," ya know?  I have not yet figured out how to delete anything though.  There should be SOME way to do it, but I need to look more and see if I can find the "how-to" instructions.  I haven't heard anything back from Lora about it either, but I sent her the info that I found about HER, and about Cyndi too, just in case they don't want their personal info shared on the internet either.

I'm just glad that my name has old info.  It's true info, sure, but it's old, outdated, and no longer accurate.  My married name does not appear to have any info at this point, but I will keep checking it to make sure. My friend Laurie said she was glad that nothing came up under HER name, but I pointed out that if you enter her husband's name and her oldest daughter's name, the personal info (address, phone, etc), is there.

Hopefully none of that stuff for the boys of Journey is accurate either....or for you.  I have deleted that last post, by the way, as I promised to.  Nobody ever reads this damned blog-o-mine anyway, but just in case, I would rather NOT broadcast all that stuff----right or wrong info----to the masses.

So the weekend is now upon us, the trees are losing their leaves already, some are turning colors, and it's downright COLD around here....in the low 60's....and at night, in the mid-40's......so winter is on its way and it's not going to be pretty, I'm afraid.  I'm a bit worried about that, actually, because we have a very long sidewalk that leads to our driveway, and I really don't like the idea of having to shovel it every day. We need to buy a snow blower and lots of melting salt stuff.  I'm not a huge fan of winter.  It sucks.  I mean, imagine growing up in Michigan where the snow comes up to your THIGHS most of the time, and you'll understand why I am really NOT a fan.  I've spent more time shoveling snow in my lifetime than any other activity, I believe.  It is my least favorite chore, next to dusting.  I really hate dusting.

Well, let's see, I had this brilliant idea....sometimes I just have these bizarre ideas pop into my head out of nowhere.....but since the world is in such absurd and immoral black humor and poor taste most of the time, (and since I developed a rather dark sense of humor while working at the Holocaust Museum), I kinda like it.  You may cringe, though, so just be forewarned.  Why not have cemetery tombstones that are ANIMATED?  You know, like have flames come bursting out of the top, with a little sign, "Don't SIN! It's HOT down here!"  Or, white angel wings pop up with a halo that says, "I'm watching over you so don't screw up!"  Or, a photo of your favorite dog, cat, or whatever animal you had as a pet, with the message, "I loved this dog/cat more than I ever liked taking care of my own health."

You know, just be creative, and do whatever the hell you LIKE, as a way of leaving more of yourself to the world than a piece of stone.  Of course, some of that may entail installing electricity, however, if you do it like a camp ground, well, you'd have a post for each grave, with an outlet and a plug on the tombstone, and of course you'd get an electric bill every month to keep it running....or it could be unplugged whenever your loved ones want to.  It just seems like a natural thing, really, to have something animated, on a dead tombstone. Doesn't it?  I mean, if Walt friggin' DISNEY can animate TREES and ANIMALS and other INANIMATE objects, then why the hell NOT animate something on the final resting place we all have to face??

You could have, for instance, a bunch of music notes, and have a photo of you pop up with your voice blurting out a verse of your favorite song.  I mean, wouldn't that be friggin' COOL???  You'd be the coolest dead guy in the whole damned cemetery, that's for sure.  *wink*  Yeah, I know that sounds really freakish to say such a thing, and I know this is a weird thing to talk about, but hey, this is my weirdness and that's all I can tell ya.  I think of shit like this.  I have no idea where it comes from, or WHY the hell I think of shit like this, but there ya go.  Not much I can do about it.

Hey....speaking of that.....do you remember a song you once sang that starts out with the word "WHYYYYY.....why should I feel so sad...."  and the chorus goes, "When I......close my eyes...."????
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THAT SONG.  I can't think of the whole thing right now, but those lyrics made me CRY like a damned baby the first time I heard it.  One of my many Journey pen-pals YEARS ago sent it to me on a CD, (he sent me a bunch of rare Journey songs), and I just fell in love with it.

I don't know if you wrote it yourself, or what, but it's amazing.  And, as morbid as it may sound,  it made me think, "this would be the song I would want played at my own funeral someday."  It seems like a very sad song, about "I know...tomorrow...I'll look on today...and when I step back, I realize, now....is my yesterdayyyy..." (or something like that).  And that last crescendo of, "WHEN IIIIIIIII....CLOSE MY EYES".....well, that just kills me....it seems like you're honestly and purely mourning someone that you loved, who passed away.  That damned SINCERITY in your voice is hard to resist, you evil bastard. (hehehehehe...I love ya, and I mean that in a friendly "bastard," not a mean "BASTARD!" way).  I know you cannot read my tonal inflections or facial expressions, so I just want to clarify that.

Ever since the first time I heard that song....damn, I gotta find that CD....I haven't heard it in a long time.....I have often wondered if you wrote that song for your mom when she passed....?  (AWKWARD PAUSE)....None of my business of course.....I just wanted you to know that, for whatever reason you wrote and sang it, that song is really, really awesome, even if you DIDN'T intend for it to sounds like a funeral type of song.  It could be interpreted in other ways, too, but that is how it struck me, and that's what I love so much about it.  It is timeless.

Well, so....I guess maybe the world isn't quite ready for animated headstones on a person's grave, but mark my words, somebody SOMEWHERE is gonna do it, and it'll be all the rage. (Figuratively as well as literally).  I'm a strange ranger sometimes my friend, I don't really know where this stuff comes from in my head, but I just type whatever the hell I think might amuse you or intrigue you or just plain entertain you.....like a train wreck you can't look away from, kinda.  Perhaps you have a morbid fascination with weird chicks in Pittsburgh?  (Believe me, I'm NOT the only one).  But at least I don't have a MAN-FACE like most women in Pittsburgh seem to have. BLEAH.  I have a girl face, thankyouverymuch.  Even without makeup!  (Somebody recently told me I look like I'm 25 years old).  I nearly fell off my chair.  Now if somebody would just CARD me when I want a drink....dammit.

Ya know, I remember somebody asking in that last Q&A thing if you'd ever do a Christmas CD...and you said, "Nah, it's been done to death," .....I kinda wish you would reconsider.  SO WHAT if it's already been "done to death," it HASN'T BEEN DONE by YOU yet, and that's the bottom line.  Instead of REGURGITATING OLD JOURNEY MUSIC and putting yourself on public display with the fact that you miss it with all your heart------why not do something NEW, all your own, in a way only YOU can do it-----to help lonely people get through the holidays???

I ask you this, only because I spent most of my life alone at Christmas time, or on a weekend trip to Michigan to visit family, but it's a long ride from DC to Michigan...alone in a car....but if I had had your voice with me, singing Christmas songs during that long ride in the winter, or at home in my own little apartment in DC by myself....just me and the dog....well, it would have really made a huge difference in how I feel about the holidays, I think.  I tend to feel sad more often than anything.  I guess that's why I like to buy people really cool presents (when I could afford it), and spoil them rotten, cooking a nice dinner, or whatever I could do....because it takes away some of my sad feeling at that time of year.  But if you could have been there, crooning to me, even something as simple as Silent Night...I would have found it much easier to bear, and less lonely.  Good Lord, if you ever sang that "O Holy Night" that was on the rare Journey music CD that I've had for so long....I gotta find that damned thing....I would melt. Right into a puddle on the floor.  CLEAN UP ON AISLE SEVEN!!  You wouldn't HAVE to do all those traditional songs, either....do something different, more modern, ("Holly Leaves and Christmas Trees" by Elvis comes to mind...not sure how old that song is, but I loved his version of it).  You could make it anything you love to hear during the Christmas season, whether it's a song from Portugal that you love, or some other song your mother once sang to you......a song you heard somewhere in your many travels over the years that sparked something inside of you....just do something personal, real, sincere, and NEW.

Before you croak, Mr. 62-year-old man, I would love love love it if you did a Christmas CD.

It's time to move on and do something creative, and real, and pure again.  From YOUR heart and soul, and nobody else's.  Don't keep doing the same old stuff from your past over and over....I'm going to say this, even if I'm way off base....my theory is that it seems psychologically as though you're trying to "fix the past" by re-doing all that older Journey music you once created, and especially now, putting it into vinyl....well, my friend, that seems to also be a psychological wish for going back in time to "re-do" some of the mistakes you made along the way while you were in Journey. Don't you think?  I could be wrong, but it just seems like you're doing old stuff over and over again....I mean, sure, I think you needed to do those things as a way of healing the huge loss you've felt for so long after you left the band.....but (and I tell myself this all the time too), a DECADE of doing that old stuff is long enough.  Time to move on.  Reinvent who you are.  Do something NOBODY expects you to do.  Let go of the past.  (Easier said, than done, I know).  But, I would be very happy if you would just think about it. Okay?

What the heck do you have to lose?!  Not a damned thing, that's what.  And you'd make a LOT of lonely people out there, like me, much happier and comforted at Christmas....even after you're gone.

Love you with all my heart....goodnight, my favorite troubadour.

Rebecca