Goodnight sweet singer man...

Hi Steve,

So, I've got a confession to make:  I've kinda lost interest in this phone call Ebay thing of yours.

Sorry hon, it's just WAY too rich for my blood.  I love you to pieces, I really do, and I'd do anything in this WORLD for you...but, when I checked the bids today, well, it was up to $9,000 bucks.  Kinda out of my league, sorry.  But then again, you always have been.  SIGH.  Ah well, it's great that the money goes to the breast cancer place, though.

Yeah, like most women, I do worry sometimes that I may eventually get breast cancer, but luckily it does not run in my family or anything.  So far, I'm fine.  I had my very first mammogram a year ago, a few months before my wedding, actually....and it sucked.  They found a lump on my left breast area, the size of a pea.  I had to go in for a biopsy, but thankfully, it was just a benign cyst.  That week of my life, however, was really quite riddled with panic, to say the least.  I mean, that's just not FAIR, to have a damned lump the FIRST time you have a mammogram!!  What a royal CRAPPER that was.  Damned doctors.  They'll ALWAYS find SOMETHING wrong with ya, even if there is NOTHING really there, just to collect more money from the insurance companies.  I don't trust 'em worth a damn.

Well, Pete is currently out with his play performer buddies, singing karaoke at some restaurant/bar place near the theater, and it's nearly 1 a.m.  I stayed home, of course, (because I have NO LIFE), and believe it or not, I took every item out of our 2 pantry closets, and did a clean sweep---re-organized everything, tossed out older stuff, and even labeled where things are now located.  I don't know what the hell got into me, but it's rather SPIFFY, now that it's done.  Yes, I know you're jealous, I lead an exciting life here in the 'burgh.  (shoot me now, shoot me now).   <----Looney Tunes reference; Daffy Duck & Elmer Fudd.

Tomorrow Pete is taking me to see Rick Wakeman and Jon Anderson perform in concert.  Should be an interesting show.  I will give you a full report afterwards.

Have you ever dealt with anybody in your life that has or had Alzheimers?  It is quite a strange ride, because you never know what the heck is going to happen day to day.  Pete's mom is 90 and she comes up with some bizarre stuff sometimes.  "Good morning," she says, at 6 p.m. after waking up from a nap. It seems that after every nap, it feels like a brand new day to her....which, I think is kinda cool for her.... but when I try to correct her, she insists that it's a new day, and "when is breakfast?"  I tell her that it's dinner time, and she says, "Well, I'd rather have breakfast if that's okay with you."  Sheesh.  You just cannot win, when you try to explain something to her in a logical way.  So, eventually, you just give up and play along, "Sure, would you like bacon and eggs, or would you rather have a Lean Cuisine?" (She opted for the Lean Cuisine).  So, somewhere inside of her head, buried beneath this disease, she realizes that it's dinner time, she just can't THINK of it that way because the disease won't LET her.

It's sad to see Florence declining so rapidly, though.  The next stage could happen at any moment.  She will then no longer recognize any of us at all, and may become so scared that she could become violent. I gotta tell ya, even though I love this lady, I dread that day.  If she hits me, for any reason, I may hit back. Like yesterday, the "evil twin" showed up....I was late getting up....(don't take Tylenol PM, it'll knock you on your ass...my stupid shoulder is killing me)...so I was a groggy mess in the morning, when the doorbell rang. Her physical therapist showed up a half hour early---and I answered the door with a Don King hairdo, an old, stained, ripped up Journey t-shirt, and pajama shorts.  The guy's face was like, "Uhhhhh...holy crap..."  (yeah, it's not a pretty sight when I wake up in the morning, trust me).  But, the kicker was, Florence was STILL IN BED!!  Normally I get her up, get her dressed, and make sure she eats breakfast before he arrives.  Well, this totally threw her into chaos....changing a routine is really really bad for an Alzheimer's patient...so she suddenly kicked into "evil twin" mode.  That is, she became a total bitch-hag-from-hell, right before my eyes, out of nowhere.

She was walking with the physical therapist guy, (marching actually), and she said, "This is cruel punishment you know..." and he chuckled, and said, "Oh come on Florence, what is so cruel about walking and marching?"  I chuckled too and said, "You mean exercising twice a week for one hour out of your whole day is cruel?" She snapped at me---"I didn't ASK YOU."  Instantly I was rather annoyed, so I said, "Well honey, you don't have a CHOICE," and I smiled sweetly at her, while making the "she's a crazy person" with my finger rotating round and round near my head---of course, I did this behind her back, so the physical therapist could see it, but she couldn't.  She was grumpy from that point on, until she went to bed, had a nap, and suddenly the day was brand new again, and she had totally forgotten all about the whole thing.  Sometimes, the forgetting is a nice thing.

Yeah, this is my life, stuck inside a huge house with my mom (who annoys me sometimes like most good mom's do from time to time), and my mother-in-law who is a total loon.  I don't have any friends here, if that's what you're wondering, because most of my friends are in DC, or in Michigan.  And because Pittsburgh people are also quite insane, I try to avoid them like the plague.

Today, for instance, (regarding the language barrier here), I heard a clerk in a department store earlier say to a customer, "It's down EYE-OH seven."  (No, she didn't say AISLE....they can't pronounce L's here, remember)?!  I just stood there, blinking, looking at her, wondering if she realized just how ignorant she sounded.  'Cause it really DOES sound IGNORANT.  But, like most Pittsburghian's that I've encountered, apparently she didn't have a clue.  I just kept walking, shaking my head in sheer bafflement.  EYE-OH seven.  Sheesh.

So, I have a hard time relating to people here, which makes me keep quite a distance from them.

BUT!!!  We got an email today from my old club in DC.....oh GOD how I miss that place....and the annual LF&P is happening on November 5th!!!  Pete says, "Let's go!"  YAYYYY!!!!  So now I'm all excited, to be taking a weekend trip back to my old stomping ground in DC, back to the people I knew and hung out with the most........ohhhhh how I've been needing that......you have no idea.

You may be wondering, "What is an LF&P?"  Well.....the logo for it is a crudely drawn elephant, taking a piss.... which is rather hilarious, because that's what LF&P sounds like when you say it fast.  But, it's an event with all kinds of awesome KINK vendors-----yes, I said KINK vendors----they sell the most amazing stuff you'll ever see in your LIFE....adult toys, floggers, whips, ball gags, corsets.....GAWD I LOVE CORSETS SO MUCH!!!.....and SHOES!!! OH GAWD!!! THE SHOES!!!! AAUUUGGHHH!!!!  (I have a high heel fetish, but my stupid damned Diabetes won't let me wear more than a 2 inch heel anymore, or my stupid FEET might fall off).  I hated getting rid of my sexy high heeled shoes.

Sooooooo, we're going to DC, to a location where the club I am a member of (and have been since I was 30 years old), rents out an entire hotel for the entire weekend----no general public people allowed, sorry. If you're vanilla, you're OUT my friend.  Only the true kinksters, like me, are allowed.  YAYYYYYY!! I don't know if YOU are vanilla, my dear sweet singer-man-that-I-love, but even YOU would not be allowed in if you are.  Ain't that a bitch?!  *WINK* hehehehehe  You poor thing...I'd let you peek in though, as long as you kissed my high heeled shoe.  How's THAT for a deal?! hehehehehehe  Ya just can't beat it with a stick!! Oh wait....yes you can....most definitely...at this club, anything goes!!

Yes, Stephen-my-love, I do enjoy that sort of thing, very much.....it's the best addiction in the WORLD!! Truly, I say that with absolute seriousness.  If you have to have an addiction of some kind, and 9 out of 10 people do, well, this is the addiction of choice for me.  A natural high, of endorphins, from the warm flogging on the ass....oooohhhh there's nothing else like it.  Did you know that Weird Al Yankovic is a Dom?  Yep.  It's true.  And Jack Nicholson is a spanker.  And Madonna dabbles in D/s on occasion as well.  It's really becoming more mainstream now than ever before, actually.  Oh, and that guy, Penn, of Penn and Teller, yep, he's a Dom too.  *or he might be the sub, I'm not 100% sure, I just know that he and Teller are both kinksters.*

So, if you've never tried it, COME ON OVER MY FINE FEATHERED FRIEND, and I'll learn ya. Ohhhhhh boy would I learn ya. GOD BLESS YOU SIR, I'd learn ya like you've never been learned before.  I guarantee that.

Well, I gotta scoot to bed, but I just wanted to tweek your twiddle before I did.  Does your twiddle feel tweeked?! Come on, don't be shy, it's ME you're talkin' to, not just some weird chick on a silly blog, ya know.  We're buddies!! We're PALS!!  We can talk about anything!!  That's the BEAUTY of my blog!

SIGH.  Oh Stephen, Stephen Stephen....I love you more than a warm flogging....NOPE! Just kidding....LOL....okay, well, let's just say it's a very close tie.  (sticking out my tongue at you).  As a matter of fact, I would most definitely pay you $9,000 to flog my ass someday...but I wouldn't pay that much for just a lame vanilla 15 minute phone call...unless of course, you talked DIRTY to me, and then we'd make a date & go to the LF&P!!!  WOOOOOOOOO!!!!

God I love how my imagination makes my nipples get all hard.

Bye for now.  SMOOCH!!

Love, your favorite naughty chick in Pittsburgh,

Rebecca