Welcome to rant-n-rave day...

Dear Stephen,

Stick a fork in me, I am DONE.  Seriously.  I have HAD IT with taking care of a 90 year old woman who has bipolar and Alzheimers.  I am sick of her.  I really am sick and tired of doing this.  I feel like a goddamned WAITRESS making MINIMUM WAGE, and frankly this is NOT how I want to live my life.

Other than that, I'm just peachy.  How are you?

I heard your interview with Uncle Joe Benson on the radio today, (well most of it...missed about 15 minutes of the beginning because of a 90 year old woman who drives me batshit CRAZY), and I have to say, that whole "went hiking with my girlfriend and she told me to sing "Open Arms" thing, was, to put it rather bluntly, (in my humble opinion), so totally full of SHIT, it really stank.

Come on.  Really??  This is ME you're talkin' to, Stephen.  I see through that whole thing, it's so opaque.  "Men do stupid things," sure, I will agree with you there, but whatever you DID apparently was "so bad" that she DEMANDED AND MADE YOU sing "Open Arms?"  REALLY??? While you were HIKING?!  GOOD GOD MAN!!  That's so HARSH!!! WOW!!! WHAT A MEAN LADY SHE WAS!!! GOODNESS!! HOW DID YOU SURVIVE THAT?!!

Sometimes, I know you try really hard to sound convincing, and sincere, and all that crap....but after hearing you for 30+ years of my life, my friend, that one really just came over as "I am making this up."

Hey, I may be full of shit too, I admit that I don't always say the right things....especially to a man I adore on a blog that he never reads.  But, that one---it was just so SMARMY....yeah, SMARMY is the right word here I believe....that is just sounded so totally FAKE, it made me cringe.

I love ya, Stephen, I love you more than life itself---you know that.  I'm just sayin', that, IN MY MIND, you're just a regular, normal, average REAL GUY, and I happen to be a REAL WOMAN who doesn't play the "yes" game bullshit with famous people----and I've met a lot of famous people over the years---but I don't sit there all ga-ga-eyed and under the illusion that you're perfect and you OWE the fans PERFECTION....because you don't.  I say what I mean, and I mean what I say, and that's the way I live.  Sometimes the things I say may be rather blunt, they might even hurt somebody's feelings, but TOO BAD, SO SAD FOR YOU....I speak the truth always.  You really didn't have to say any of that lame smarmy made-up shit, and we out here in regular lame-people land, would STILL LOVE YOU.

You need to own up to the strange freakish reality that you live, Stephen, and OWN the fact that you can do NO WRONG in the eyes of your fans.  Ever.  ANYTHING you say, will be taken as GOSPEL by most of your fans, no matter if you say "the grass is blue and the sky is green"---they will FIGHT ANYBODY TO THE DEATH who disagrees with your statement, even if it's full of shit and you made it all up just to get people to say "awww, isn't that SWEET?" I bet you a million bucks that 9 out of 10 of us women who adore you, who listened to that crap about your girlfriend FORCING you to sing "Open Arms" while hiking, probably swooned all over each other in lustful moans of adoration because they believe every word that comes out of your gorgeous pie hole.

Maybe you know that.  But you don't OWN IT yet.  Why not??  Are you getting what I'm saying??  If you truly OWNED IT----and by that I mean, if you were just a wee bit more confident in your delivery of said smarmy story, (without stammering about how men make mistakes and are sometimes stupid), and if you had added something like, "I sang it as though I were Gilbert Godfried, just to get her goat," THAT would have been more believable, and awesome for most of us adoring fans to hear----ya know why????  Because 9 out of 10 of us, think that, if your girlfriend REALLY "demanded" and "forced" you to sing a song to her because of something you did or didn't do that upset her, then frankly, she's a total BITCH, and why should we go "awww isn't that CUTE," when all we want to do is bite her face off for treating you like a SERVICE DOM or a CIRCUS SEAL ON A TRUMPET?????

Do you do everything a woman tells you to do, Stephen??  Good Lord.  Are you submissive?? Because wow, that whole story really goes against all the badass "bad boy" image and persona that you've portrayed all these years.  I always thought of you as more Dominant than that.  But, hey, you're getting older, maybe that bad boy thing is long gone, and maybe you really ARE sincere in telling that story.  I don't know.  But, I can tell you that 9 out of 10 women LOVE THE BAD BOY.  They may never ADMIT IT, they may spend their lives repressed and hiding from it, but deep down, that is the truth.

Ah well, who am I.  I don't even know you for real.  But, I like to think that maybe I know a LITTLE.

Now, that last question that you were asked, with your answer about how you and the boys of Journey "still have a love for each other, but may not LIKE each other anymore..." now THAT was real.  THAT was convincing, and honest, and THAT was from the heart---trying to be tactful, and more objective, trying NOT to upset anybody, but at the same time, admitting that you're all at different places in your lives now, and have gone in different directions, and all that.......yeah, that stuff was golden honest from your heart.  You would have loved to say more, but you hold back, and that takes a lot of chutzpah.  And BAD BOYS have a lot of CHUTZPAH you know.

So, if I'm wrong about all this, just smack me upside the head and tell me I'm full of shit.  I'll bow down and kiss your willy for 2 solid hours, in penance.  I promise.

But if I'm RIGHT....well, then, maybe you should have somebody write you a script that is more believable next time you get interviewed.  Just sayin'.

And what's all that about "Sony MADE ME do this..." regarding Greatest Hits 2 and Street Talk??  Sure, I realize there's a whole lot MORE to that story behind this stuff than you will ever mention, but to say that they MADE you do these things kinda sounds like you're their puppet, and you do whatever you're told, and frankly that makes me feel rather sad.  BE A MAN!!! STAND UP TO THEM AND SAY, "HEY, THAT WOULD BE TOO DIFFICULT EMOTIONALLY FOR ME TO DO," and tell them NO.

But you wouldn't be in the limelight like you are now, nor would you be making any money, and nobody would be interviewing you either....would they.  That draw, of "the audience," based on your other question about being on a stage and performing, and pulling up that "stage voice" of yours because of the energy of the people in the audience----is probably more powerful a motivator in your life than the baseless greed of making tons of money for doing this stuff "because Sony tells you to."

THAT I will believe.  You've got more money than GOD, so I don't buy that whole thing about "Sony made me do this," either.  Sure, contracts are contracts, legalities are binding, yadda yadda yadda.  BUT, I am boing to be bold by saying this:  Your obvious need to please others, and your need to perform in front of people, and your need and your aching, lonely, sad MISSING OF IT ALL inside of you, is what led you to do these projects.  Maybe it's partially just a pissing contest to show the boys of Journey that you're not just sitting around doing nothing.  Maybe part of you wants to PROVE yourself to them, that you can succeed without their sorry asses.  But, my gut instinct about you says, it's a part of your life that you wish with all your heart, you could have back again.

I've been there, I've lived it too, I know EXACTLY how it feels.  But when you EXPRESS those things to other people who have NEVER experienced what it's like to lose a huge chunk of yourself like that, they really and truly don't understand at all.  AmIright??

So, if your so-called "girlfriend" actually took the time to UNDERSTAND YOU as a REAL person, like I like to think I do---even if it's just a little bit-----maybe she wouldn't "FORCE" you to sing "Open Arms" and cause you to once again feel that aching, lonely, and sad heartache while you're singing it.  What kind of woman is SHE, to push your limits like that, to make you do something you really didn't WANT to do because it is hurtful in your HEART.....is she a pro-Domme or something???  That's kinda what it sounds like to me, anyway.

Don't allow anybody----not your "girlfriend," not Sony, not the boys of Journey----MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING.  Stand up, be a man, and tell them all to fuck off.  Don't be a friggin' SISSY like that, come on, dude, I look up to you as a bad-ass bad-boy Dominant man!!  You're really not, though, and that's okay with me, but I still like that illusion a lot.  I like to imagine that about you, so just humor me with all this, will ya???

If you're submissive, Stephen, I love you.  If you're Dominant, Stephen, I love you.  If you're a SWITCH, Stephen, I love you.  If you're GAY, I love you.  If you're bi-sexual, I love you.  If you're a SISSY BOY, (and I know many of them, they are awesome), I love you.  If you're a LITTLE, (and I know lots of THEM too, and they are awesome), I love you.  If you're a friggin' FURRY, I love you.

I don't give a SHIT if you ever sing another note in your whole life EVER again, and I certainly wouldn't MAKE you do that while hiking or doing whatever, if I knew that it would hurt you like it does.  You might think, "Nah, it's okay, she meant no harm, it's therapeutic, I need to do that sometimes...." then more power to ya, I think that's incorrect, but okay, to each his own and whatever floats your boat is fine with me.

I'm simply expressing my opinion, based on what I heard and how I perceived the interview.

Again, I stress the fact that I have been driven batshit CRAZY by a 90 year old woman who has bipolar and Alzheimers, and I also missed the first 15 minutes of the interview.  So I may just be blowing a lot of hot air and incorrect assumptions and misguided opinions, and if I am, I apologize profusely to you.

But, really, after all these years, don't you realize that you are WORSHIPPED by a whole lotta crazy bitch female fans out here in boring-life land who adore you, and hang on your every word, and would do anything to get to you?  Telling us that you have a girlfriend---you might THINK----should avoid all those silly groupie shenanigans, right??  WRONG!!!  WOMEN LIKE MEN WHO ARE TAKEN, because---just like men like women who are taken---it's the thrill and challenge of the chase---of taking somebody AWAY from the other woman, or man.

I'm speaking from my own experience of having affairs with married men in my past.  I know it's wrong, I didn't like myself for doing it, in fact, the guilt of it often had me in tears and misery....but the killing, aching and horrible, lonely need for affection and the temptation of a LITTLE bit of love, often wins out over morality.  I hate to say that is true, but in my experience, it definitely was.

We aren't turned away from you, or AT ALL disappointed or discouraged because you hide behind a "girlfriend," Stephen---in fact, it just makes us want you MORE.  Who was that chick in the red dress at that movie premiere?!! What is her name?!  Where did she come from?! How did you meet her?  THOSE are the questions that lots of these freaky weird groupie women obsess about, which only makes them go all STALKER SHIT on your ass.  You're only making matters WORSE for yourself by telling people you have a girlfriend.  That's all I'm saying.  NOT because it makes groupie women fans feel "jealous," but because it makes groupie women fans more AGGRESSIVE TOWARDS YOU.

We crazy bitches out here in boring-life land KNOW for a FACT, just because you SAID she FORCED YOU TO SING OPEN ARMS AS A PUNISHMENT for whatever the hell you did or didn't do to make her happy, that she can be DEFEATED, and you can be TAKEN AWAY FROM HER because WE WOULD TREAT YOU SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT.

Do you get what I'm saying?? Are you seeing how women really are, yet???

Well, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but I'm tryin' to say that you don't have to make up shit, about a girlfriend or about a smarmy story like that, because all it does is cause you more havoc in the long run.
Why do that to yourself???  Maybe you're just a kinky damned masochist.  I don't know.

(Rolling my eyeballs).  Well, whatever the hell you are, I love ya no matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter where you go, and no matter how you live.  In my eyes, you're an imperfect man, who makes mistakes, who doesn't seem to have a total grasp of his own "superhero" image that most women have of him, and who may not be as confident as most people would like to believe.  You are an emotional, sensitive, kind and gentle person, and that is all we really need to know---THAT is why most of us women out here love you so much.

(But, when you have moments of being a bad-boy, we crave you even more).  At least, most of us do.

I've had a rather shitty day today, but I won't bore you with the mundane housewifery crap that I live.

I'm just ready to end the day on a happy note.....so I will say to you, KEEP being true to yourself, keep telling TRUTHS, don't make up anymore smarmy bullshit stories, and with your bad-ass-bad-boy honesty, integrity, and stoic persona, mixed with a little bit of the emotional, sensitive loving kind and gentle kind of guy----you are absolutely and positively golden in the eyes of all of your female fans.

I love you Stephen.  Sorry if I rubbed you wrong with saying some of this stuff, but hey, that's life.  I'm speaking from my heart to you, always, whether it's what you WANT to hear or not.  I try every day to be honest in my own world, and so I extend the same courtesy to people I love as well.

Bye for now.

Love, Rebecca