Happy Hump Day my favorite singer-man...

Ah well, it's Wednesday and I've got dinner in the oven, sitting here procrastinating on cleaning, watching Little House on the Prairie (shoot me now) with my mother-in-law who loves that show. BLEAH.   Sure, I used to watch it when I was a kid, but I liked the books about the REAL Laura Ingalls Wilder much better.  Books are always better.

But, when you spend every day with an 89 year old woman who has bipolar AND dementia, every day is an adventure. No two days are ever alike, except she needs "routine," to keep from going over the edge...have you ever seen a bipolar episode?  It's not pretty.  So, we watch this show every afternoon on the Hallmark channel.  Makes me gag, but that's just how it's gotta be with her. She looks forward to it, and it makes her feel safe & secure knowing that it's on every day.

Feeling safe and secure, and above all, UNDERSTOOD, is something every human being shares as a basic human need. It doesn't matter what color skin a person has, what religion, etc., so I'm one of those "live and let live" kind of people.  We all need the same things in life, from food to shelter, clothing, medical care, etc., so why then do people fall for the "us vs. them" mentality that seems to be growing in our country?  I just don't understand that.

That's why I'm going to the Rally to Restore Sanity in Washington DC on October 30th.  I used to live in the DC area, so I'm familiar with how to get around and where to go, where to avoid, etc., so I'm looking forward to going back to my old stomping ground, at least for a day.  Living there, however, is no picnic. It's very stressful.  I've learned that I could do it when I was in my 20's and 30's, but as I've grown older, I just can't hack the stress anymore.  I need peace and quiet, low stress, low-key daily routines now.

Hence, my sitting here procrastinating.  Pete's daughter and her husband are coming to visit this weekend, and I have a house to clean, but I just keep putting it off.  Some days, like this one, I remember how nice it was to be single, and not have to worry about keeping everything super neat all the time.  I could just come and go as I pleased, too.  But, I guess all good things eventually have to come to an end...so they say.

The Hallmark channel makes me gag, especially now that Martha Stewart is on it...I just want to smack her upside the head.  She annoys me.  I've never really been the "Donna Reed" type of person.  In fact, I have a placard that says, "Well-behaved women rarely make history."  I also have one that says, "The only domestic thing about me is that I live in a house."  And, another one that says, "I kiss better than I cook." So, that pretty much sums me up overall.  I do, however, make crafts, and scrapbook, and I love interior decorating too.  I am a self-confessed HGTV addict. (This nesting phase of mine is really annoying me though).

Right now we are still waiting to hear back from the people who own the home we want to buy. All we need is a YES answer, so that we can start making plans to move.  But they are taking their sweet time, and I don't understand why.  I mean, they are doing the "us vs. them" thing, ya know?  "Can we trust them, will they pay us rent on time, will they pay a pet security deposit, will we get screwed by them?" (We have made them an offer of renting-to-own for 2 years, and then taking over the mortgage at that point).  They haven't had any other offers AT ALL since they put it on the market, so it seems like a no-brainer to me.  It's better that they have money coming in, than having an empty house sitting all winter again.  That just seems like common sense to me...but ya know, I've learned also that common sense just ain't so "common" anymore.

The world is messed up, in my humble opinion, for the following reasons:

1. People don't know themselves anymore.
2. People don't trust others anymore. The "us vs. them" mentality hinders progress.
3. Short-sighted decisions are made 9 times out of 10, rather than long-term planning.
4. People just don't listen or care about anything or anyone anymore.
5. Greed is the main factor in just about everyone's view. If they don't benefit, they won't do it.

So, I think those are the fundamental bottom-line reasons our world is so fucked up.  Not sure how to FIX all those things, but maybe it's too late anyway.  I've always "carried the world's problems around on my shoulders" all my life, my mom used to tell me.  When I hit 40, I finally realized that I can only take care of MY little piece of the world, and nothing more.  It really upset me to realize that though, after spending most of my life believing I could do something amazing and huge in life.  While I worked at the Museum in DC, I felt like I was doing something amazing and huge.  But, that all ended in 2001.

Now I just wake up, worry about how clean my house is, are the dishes washed and put away, the laundry needs doing, we have car repairs to schedule, etc., etc., etc., and I gotta tell ya, Stevie, it truly bugs me.  I mean, none of this stuff I do every day really makes me feel like I'm doing something that MATTERS. Ya know?  Have you felt that way now that you're not really in the music business much anymore?  Doesn't it bug you?  Maybe it's just me and my silliness, I don't know, but I expected more out of my life than this.  I've always had a hard time living up to my own expectations.

I guess I'm at the "mid-life crisis" stage, maybe, wishing I had a "mini-me" kid of my own, a daughter, to pass down all of life's secrets to.  I have never had a baby though.  It's just not my cup of tea I guess.  So it's just ME, myself and I, trying to get through life day by day, wondering why the heck I get out of bed every day.  I used to feel a sense of purpose, I reason to get up and get busy. Now I don't have that.  Is this something you've discovered as a "normal" person without the fame and the limelight?  Is "normal life" all that you thought it would be?  Or worse?  My guess is, you'll get bored soon.  Most everyone out there in the "normal" world does.

Ah well, those are just my thoughts on a typical Wednesday in Pittsburgh.

Have a good week Stephen, and hang in there.  I love ya.  BIG HUG TO YOU!!

Love, Becky