Ah well, so where did we leave off last time....oh yes, the whole "bad karma" thing about Mr. Allen Craft. He really was quite a drag, to say the least. But, let's not give him another moment of our energy or time, he doesn't deserve either one. MOVING ON.
I'm wondering who you voted for in the last election? My instincts and intuition tell me that you're a liberal Democrat type of guy, but then again, you're filthy rich, so you MIGHT be a conservative Republican. Let's just say, for the sake of shits and giggles, that you are more of a liberal Democrat, like me. Just for the heck of it. We'll just operate on that pretense, even if it's totally wrong, ok? Okay.
When I lived in Washington DC, you really had no choice but to pay attention to politics, it was in your face all day, every day, constantly bombarding you whether you liked it or not. Since I've moved to PA, though, I really don't pay a lot of attention to it anymore, as it just "interrupts my CHEE." I try to avoid things that interrupt my Chi, ya know? So, the only "news" that I really watch regularly, is that of the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I LOVE HIM. Not only does he poke fun at EVERYBODY in politics, from both sides, but he's Jewish, and that is just awesome in my book. I do enjoy Stephen Colbert, too, though. They are both very intelligent men, and if you ask me, THEY should run for President & Vice President next time around. Think about it, we'd have common sense restored again, AND laugh our heads off at the jokes they'd tell. It would make our world much more enjoyable, that's for sure.
Well, Mr. Jon Stewart and Mr. Stephen Colbert are currently planning a huge rally in DC on October 30th, and my hubby (Pete) and I are planning to be there. I wonder if that's something YOU would ever attend? Maybe I'll see you there in a crowd, in your butless leather chaps?? (OH COME ON, PLEEASSEEE?!) If you're standing there in a crowd, and you feel something dripping on your feet, don't worry about it, it'll just be me, drooling, right beside you. Because that's what I do when a sexy man is nearby. I drool. Not literally, though, I'm just being facetious and figurative about that...but I do get a little "va-va-va-voom" in my naughty bits whenever I think about it. (blush)
Ahem. So, I'm in the process of making costumes for Pete and I to wear...now, mind you, we'll only wear them if OTHER PEOPLE are wearing them, but Stephen Colbert suggested it on his show the other day, and I thought, "COOL, it's almost Halloween, and I LOVE Halloween, so I think we should do that." Well, Pete wants to go as a "Bill," like this one from 70's Schoolhouse Rock commercials:
I have always loved the "bad ass" kind of guy. The one who wears black, is intelligent, witty, and MANLY. Those qualities turn me on like nobody's bidness, lemmetellya. When you owned that Harley motorcycle years ago (do you STILL own it?), I was absolutely GIDDY thinking about it. So, the butt-less leather chaps kinda go with that image in my mind, ya know? Badass butt-less leather chaps man!!
So I have NO IDEA how the hell to make this costume, but I happen to be a whiz with a glue gun, and I used to work at Michael's craft stores for many years part-time (just for fun money), so I am sure I can come up with something. I'm creative as hell. Almost TOO creative for my own damned good. Pete wants to have HIS face in place of the Bill's face, and thinks he should be wrapped in some kind of thick cardboard/poster board or paper like this picture, and of course, have a red, white and blue badge on his chest, with white gloves, shoes, shorts and a shirt. We'll see. Last year, he went as the Tooth Fairy, and carried around these HUGE pair of pliars, it was a hoot. The year before that, he was a "chick magnet," and I went as a baby chick. I had fun making THAT costume! I'll have to add photos sometime.
I know, you're 62 and you probably think, as you sniff that big schnoz of yours at me, that you're just "too old" for all that Halloween crap, right? Or too "dignified," or "sophisticated," or just plain "prudish" for such a silly thing...and hey, I'm sure you probably think I'm a total LOON, too! But yet you sit here, at your computer desk in your butt-less leather chaps, reading my blog every day (at least, in my imagination you do), so you must LIKE that kind of hysterical craziness every once in awhile. You can't fool ME with all that "sophisticated, dignified prudishness!"
Just strap yourself in, my friend, and enjoy the ride. I'll take you all over the place and have crazy fun with you every damned day if you want. Just promise me you'll wear the butt-less chaps for me, ok?
I think I might dress up either as the Statue of Liberty, OR, as the Constitution. I've already taken tea bags and rubbed them all over white poster board and white foamy sheets, to make them look yellowish, and I'll curl the foamy sheets at the top and bottom of the poster board to look like a scroll, and write "We the People" on the front, with a bubble like the Constitution is speaking, that says, "Hey! Don't MAKE me paper CUT you, man! Back off!" Or, I might write, "Don't tread on me anymore dammit!" I'm not sure which one is better really, but I'll see what I can come up with.
So this is the type of silly insanity that I wake up to in the morning. I used to work and have a higher purpose, and feel important, and I used to hob-nob with celebrities and meet famous people, etc., (lots of VIPs visited the Museum and I even got to meet Muhammad Ali, (VERY COOL), and Jack Klugman, David Arquette, and Fabio (WHAT A SCHMUCK HE WAS), and I even got to hang out with Gene Hackman for a day), but now.....well, now, I am reduced to just being a married frumpy housewife of 42 years of age, sitting in Pittsburgh, craving intelligent conversation with someone OTHER than my 89 year old mother in law, who can't remember what we discussed an hour ago, much less last week.
Hence, this wonderful happy blog-o-mine that I share with you, and those butt-less chaps you wear. I wonder if they chafe your gorgeous bod? I'm sure I could kiss it and make it better if they do. *wink*
My hubby works at Apple computers, and he just got another raise, so even though this economy we're all in (which feels like the friggin' TITANIC), totally sucks big hairy sweaty balls (another fun visual), we are actually doing fine....and frankly that makes me feel guilty as hell. I don't know about YOU, but I believe in "sharing the wealth," so I try to join certain charities and stuff, and I donate things to Goodwill, and just try to help out wherever I can because I feel like I don't deserve financial security when others are hurting. I'm just weird that way. In fact, it bugs me a little too, because I have always loved Ayn Rand's philosophy of Objectivity, where Altruism is killing our country, and doing things for the sake of one's SELF is actually what human beings were put on this earth to do.
In fact, when I was on web site dating services years ago, (pathetic, yes I know), I put in my description of the perfect man I was looking for, "Must be like Howard Roark. If you don't know who he is, Google it, humor me, or get lost." (I mentioned that I don't mess around, right? I'm pretty damned direct most of the time). Needless to say, I didn't meet many guys. LOL But, I'm just a silly submissive chick who overcompensates for my true nature by being bold, brash, and badass sometimes. What can I say?
So, in a way, I think of you as my Howard Roark, (I know you're not PERFECT), and I hope you never will be, because that aspiration is so damned unrealistic AND boring. But, what I mean is, you tend to do what YOU need to do, with or without anyone else's approval or permission, simply because you are TRUE TO YOURSELF and WHO YOU ARE, and to HELL with anyone who doesn't like it. THAT is what a real man should be, and I venture to put forth that men USED to be that way in the 30's and 40's.....I swear, I was born in the wrong decade....so I guess what I'm saying is, I think of you as a REAL MAN, someone with INTEGRITY, someone who is dignified, honest, and who accepts and even embraces the good, the bad and the ugly parts of who you are inside and out. Sure, it took you many years to get there, like it did with all of us---it's a rite of passage my friend. We all go through it.
Some of us give up before we even start though. Some of us don't even know who we are from the day we're born until the day we die. But, those of us who TAKE the time to soul search and learn about ourselves, and what we stand for, what our values are, what our purpose in life really is, are the ones who really change the world...in my humble-but-opinionated opinion. If you don't KNOW yourself, you're just not a damned bit of good to anybody else. That is a philosophy I have believed in since I was a teenager.
You are also a very shrewd businessman, and I LOVE THAT about you. I mean, you've still got your fingers in the Journey pie, and that is awesome. You've invested your money wisely, not wasted it on ALIMONY like Neal has....you don't HAVE to work anymore....you're SET for LIFE....and you've been very responsible with your career, as well as given all the talent you have been blessed with to the whole wide world for 30 years or more...so, for that, I thank you Sir. From the bottom of my heart.
You, dear Sir, are the closest thing I have ever found, to my ideal Howard Roark, and I applaud you.
...................damn, I'm a longwinded hag, ain't I?...............this post is becoming too long even for me.
Well, until next time my fine vocalized friend, I bow to your feet and kiss each toe....and drool at your sexy leather butt-less chaps.
Love, Rebecca
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