Today I feel like talking to you about my very good friend, (almost a "mom away from mom") named Melva. In this photo, she is wearing the red blouse. This photo was taken in July, at her mother's 90th birthday party, she is in the center.
You may recognize Melva's younger brother, Kevin Chalfant, on the right. He looks rather distracted! The others are their siblings. She sent me this photo recently, so I thought I would share it with you. Let me tell you a little bit about Melva...
First of all, Melva is an amazing woman. She's awesome, and I love her very much. We met in the mid 90's, quite by accident. I was (at the time) enjoying the music of Bad English and of course, Journey, and Damn Yankees, AND The Storm. In fact, I saw The Storm in concert in Ludington Michigan and loved it. Then, they also came to Grand Rapids Michigan, where I was working (at the time), and their tour bus was parked right across the street from where I worked, at a Hilton Hotel! So I walked over there on my lunch break, eating my PB&J, and talked with the guy loading luggage. He said, "If you stick around a few minutes, they'll all be coming out to get on board."
Of course, I stuck around. Sure enough, they came out one by one, and I was able to talk with each person briefly before they got on the bus. Kevin came out and said hello, and I told him I had seen them in Ludington and enjoyed the show very much. He signed an 8x10 black and white photo of the band, and thanked me and got on the bus. Gregg Rollie, however, decided to chat a bit more...that guy is HUGE....he must be 8 feet tall!! He wore all black leather and boots, and was quite intimidating. He asked me how big of a city Grand Rapids was, and what types of industry were there, etc., and then I asked, "Are you finally starting to get along with Steve Perry these days?"
Ohhhhhh boy....wrong question....he scowled at me, and said, "No. Steve Perry RUINED Journey." I was taken aback by this statement. I said, "Um. Hmmm...interesting. But I would have to politely disagree with you about that. I happen to LOVE Steve Perry." Then I said, "You know, you did a lot for the group before he came along, nobody will ever doubt that. Every Journey fan that I know, still considers you a great musician and singer." (Had to stroke the fragile male ego a bit). He smiled and thanked me, and then signed the photograph and got on the bus. Whew. Didn't want to make THAT guy mad, he would crush me like a bug!!
So then Josh Ramos came out and the rest of the group, signed my photo, and said hello. Ross Valory came out, chuckled at me eating my PB&J and asked for a bite. I said, "You can have my carrot sticks!!" and he laughed. Then I told him I loved The Storm and Journey, and he thanked me and signed the photo. Once they were all on the bus, they waved at me, and I was in seventh heaven as they drove away. (And I got yelled at by my boss for spending 10 minutes too long on my lunch break). But I didn't care!
Not sure how long afterwards, I got on the computer to look up the web site for The Storm, to thank them all for talking with me and signing the photo. I was reading through some of the messages that other fans had written, and one of them said something about being Kevin's SIBLING...and I thought, "wow, that's kinda cool...I'll say hi to him too then." So, I sent a message to this unknown person who claimed to be related to Kevin, and it turns out, that person was Melva. (I had assumed it was a brother, but I was wrong).
Over time, she and I became very good friends, chatting online almost every day, sending each other cards and other goodies in the mail, and even planning visits in person! She knew me when I was still in Michigan, before I moved to Washington DC...and that was in...1996. So, she was there for me when I complained about the high cost of living that I did not realize, and the crazy traffic, and weird people, and the strange way people had of working at a job, (there is no teamwork, just people out for themselves)...it was a huge culture shock for me, and I was only 27 at the time, so I didn't know what the hell I was doing.
She was there to listen, she gave me advice, she gave me cyber-hugs whenever I needed one, and she called me on the phone quite often too. I told her she was like having a mom away from mom, and she laughed. Melva has been married to Tom for more than 50 years I believe. They have a daughter, Susan, who has gorgeous black curly hair (or at least, she DID, when I met her), and Susan now has a daughter of her own, Angela.
Melva came to visit me in DC not too long after I moved there. I was in Alexandria VA at the time, and I took her around to see some sites, including the FDR and Lincoln, and an old battlefield park that I lived close to. It still had cannons there, so I sat on top of one and she took my picture. We took lots of pictures! I have a couple of scrapbook pages made with her on it, and I love that we had so much fun together. She LOVED Washington DC!
She invited me to come visit her in Danville Illinois, shortly afterwards, and I decided to do it. I flew there and she picked me up, and we chit-chatted in the car all the way to her house. That's where I met Tom and Susan, and they made a great dinner for me, and let me sleep at their house the whole time I was there. She took me to a Frank Lloyd Wright house, which I loved...and she took me to see Abraham Lincoln's birth place AND the log cabin village where he lived as a boy. It was amazing. She showed me the office where he worked as a lawyer too. Having been in DC, I had seen the Fords Theater where he was shot, and the place across the street where he was taken, and eventually died. So this was interesting to me, to see where he started out. We had a great time, laughed a lot, and really enjoyed each other's company.
In the early part of the new decade, Melva informed me that she was diagnosed with cancer. It was in her jaw, apparently, but she said they were being aggressive to hopefully prevent it from spreading, and that I shouldn't worry. But I did. I still do, because the cancer DID spread. When I spent time with her, she was about 100 pounds heavier than in this photo, she had lots of thick curly hair, not even grey, and dark glasses. This photo makes her look like a totally different person. But I guess cancer does that. Here's what she looked like before the cancer:
Melva was a nurse for many years before she retired. She believes in holistic healthcare also. Unlike me, she's not afraid of doctors or hospitals, and she's always upbeat and positive, telling me that whenever I think negatively, I need to stop myself and change my emotion to a happier mood, so that the negative is gone. She is full of advice about home remedies and tips and secrets about taking care of yourself. She was always nagging me to go out and exercise and eat healthy...in fact, she also told me to start using Oil of Olay every night before bedtime, (which I did), and even though I am currently 42 years old, I don't have ONE WRINKLE in my face yet!!! I credit her for that.
Kevin became interested in this friendship between Melva and I, when she mentioned it to him, and she reminded him that he had met me at that hotel before getting on the bus. He vaguely remembered that, I guess, because when she told him that I lived in DC at that point, he was eager to talk with me. So, he asked if I would help him with a project. He didn't want to shell out big bucks to a law firm to find out the info, if there was a way I could get it for him instead. I didn't blame him for that, I really don't have much respect for lawyers either! So, I said I would help. He sent me to the Patent and Trademark office, to look for various "rock group names" on a list he had mailed to me, to see if anyone else was using it, or had a copyright on it. Kevin produces new talent in his studio, and needed some good ideas for rock group names, but he didn't want to get sued is someone else was already using it.
So, I finished the project in a couple weeks, and he was thrilled. Most of the names were NOT being used! He offered to pay me. I declined. He insisted. So I accepted $50 bucks. He has liked me ever since then! (I work cheap). LOL In fact, he then asked me to help with another project. (This was years before he had Michael Sorrentino helping him out...and that guy was the "mediator" on the Journey web site when Allen Craft was harrassing me, but he didn't help much). Kevin asked me to do some research on various radio stations in and around the DC metro area, to find out how many of them play new talent music, and/or older songs from bands like classic rock. He wanted to know where to target some of his new rock stars to be heard by the masses, I guess. So, I did that project too. He paid me another $50!
When he and The Storm were performing a concert in Illinois several years later, he remembered me and agreed to sit down and have an interview with me, and a guy named David Golland, who (at the time) had a fan based web site "JRNY DV," (Journey Dave). I was volunteering with Dave on this site, just for fun, writing articles and uploading Journey concert photos that I had taken years before, or that other fans had sent via email. We conducted a nice interview with Kevin and enjoyed the show. In fact, one of his band mates invited me back to their hotel to have an "after party," but Dave wouldn't allow me to!! I was highly peeved. I would have gone there, no problem, but he felt it wouldn't be "professional" of me. The putz. To this day, I've never forgiven him for that! I really was in the mood to party too. POUT.
Anyway, so Melva sends me emails almost daily, she Facebooks with me all the time, she still calls me on occasion, and we are still very good friends. I'm worried about her cancer though, it has spread to her bones now, and unfortunately, it is not something they can get rid of. She doesn't think of it as "dying from cancer," though. She thinks of it as "I'm LIVING with cancer." That is a HUGE difference in attitude, and she inspires me by being positive even with such a challenge that she deals with every day. I don't know how she does it, I really don't.
She recently got a new puppy, a tiny tiny little puppy, named Molly. She is ADORABLE. Melva has had other dogs in the past, and loved them like members of her family. When they passed on, she was devastated, and I cried along with her, because I've also loved dogs and have lost some along the way myself. But this one keeps Melva laughing a lot, and she spoils Molly rotten. Tom has mostly retired from being a college professor, but still does some work on the side, and she helps him with research and administrative stuff.
This you may find interesting...Melva had a friend named Glenda who she claimed was a "psychic." At the time, I was watching a t.v. show where this guy, John somebody, (can't recall), claimed he was psychic and could talk to the deceased...and I was fascinated by the idea. In fact, I went to one of his performances, with a photo of my grandparents with me, in hopes that maybe (just maybe), he could really do it. So Melva, being the constant believer in UFO's, and spiritual angels and ghostly beings, hooked me up with Glenda.
Glenda told me to mail her a piece of my jewelry that I wore often, along with a paragraph written about myself, and any questions I had of her, along with my photo. I did as I was told, and my question was, "How come I'm so enamoured with Steve Perry, and obsessed with Anne Frank?" Her answers were....well...rather SILLY now that I look back on it, but at the time, they were very insightful and I was intrigued.
She said that I was enamoured of you because, in a previous life, I was a spoiled rich princess, in a far off land....(I'm slightly exaggerating but you get the idea)...and I fell in love with a "troubadour," (traveling singer) who never gave me the time of day. I died of a broken heart, even though my rich parents allowed me to follow him all over the land....
I was a friggin' GROUPIE in a previous life dude. How's THAT for hilarity?!
And she also said I was best friends with Anne in another previous life, but a stray bullet in front of a butcher shop killed me unexpectedly, and Anne never got over it, and didn't want to write about me in her diary because she cherished our friendship and wanted to keep it private.
HA!! I shake my head at it now, what a big fat load of HOOEY...but wow, that really was bizarre to say the least. But Melva believed every damned word of it!! hehehehe
Well, so there is an introduction to my very good friend and mentor, Melva June. I really love her very much and I just wanted to share some of my friendship that I have with her, with you.
Love, Rebecca
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