Good morning Stephen, you sexy beast...how the heck are ya today?
I hope you're looking forward to your upcoming birthday! I know I am. Going on the big 6-3, aren't ya? Well, today's 60's are really like the 40's, so don't worry about getting old, you're still as sexy as ever. Hell, I'd do ya!! hehehehe (That goes without saying...if you had no hair, no teeth, and wrinkles everywhere, I'd still do ya)!
Every year on your birthday, I always listen to your voice sing to me (heck, pretty much every day), and I send a silent prayer, "God Bless that man." So, it may not be a real "present," but at least it's something, and it's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
I know I promised to send you a "Journey-opoly" board game for your birthday, that I seriously want to create, but with all the crazy things going on around here lately, I haven't had time to sit down and do it. I will try today though, since nobody is awake yet, and I have the place to myself for a little while!
Pete jokingly said to me the other day, as I sat here writing to you, "what if he Googles himself and finds your blog, and actually READS it?" I stopped typing and sat there a moment, contemplating this possibility, and I finally said, "Ya know, I don't really care if he reads this or not, it's mostly just a form of cheap therapy for ME, and that's all that matters!" (I had never really thought about that possibility before, I figured this would be one of those silly blogs that nobody ever reads, so I feel a sense of newfound freedom to just write whatever is in my silly head at any given moment)...I mean, if I actually sat here, thinking that you might be READING it, well, I would then feel a need to censor myself and edit everything, I'd be more politically correct, I'd worry more about grammar and spelling, worrying if I offended you with something I said, etc. and frankly, that's just no fun.
So, to hell with it, you'll never Google yourself and read my blog. Okey dokey?! *wink* And if you ever DO, then God help us both, you must be bored to death just like me. Pete also joked and said, "You could send him a blowjob coupon for his birthday...but he'd have to come HERE to redeem it."
Lemme tell ya about the coupon.
Yes, in my frivolous younger years as a self-professed nympho, I once made up some "blowjob coupons," to take with me to the BDSM camp that I go to every year. I figured, what better way to break the ice with someone new you just meet, right?! (My mom nearly fell off her chair when I told her this story yesterday)! hehehehe
So, I had made 10 of these coupons, (ambitious, I know), but I only ended up handing out 3. Now, don'tcha be labeling me as a slut just YET...I really only WANTED to hand out ONE...but then that guy showed it to ANOTHER guy, who then followed me around like a lost puppy begging for one, (drove me NUTS), and people started talking about it and apparently I got quite a reputation...and then I met Pete, who gave me a nice massage at the spa, and even though I gave him one, I dissed him completely and told him I didn't have any intention of ever redeeming it! (Somehow I ended up being married to this guy, I still can't figure it out).
Well, so that little idea of mine kinda backfired, and I had to pay out all three coupons, which was simply "torture," (wink) because I just HATE doing that....wink....yeah...I hate it soooooo much, that I made coupons about it...mmm hmmmm. You get me, right? You totally get me. I know you do. And you love it. You absolutely love it. You're not offended, you're not disgusted, you're not turned off....in my head, you're giddy with laughter and amusement. So, that's how I imagine you, dammit, and that's how you'll be.
Ya know, if you and ever really DO meet again, and became good friends, and then started hanging out and (let's say for shits and giggles even though I'm hitched), we actually start dating casually---well, you'd win every damned argument we'd ever have, ya know why? Because all you'd have to do is open that PIE HOLE GOB of yours and sing something, and I'd melt into a puddle right on the floor. YOU WIN!!
So, that might not be such a good idea. You just stay your little singin' butt in LA and I'll stay over here in Pittsburgh, and we'll just be blog buddies from afar, ok? Because, as you may have already learned in your wisdom of 63 years on the planet, women LIKE to win arguments from time to time. So, if you won every time, that would kinda suck. I'd have to mop myself up off the floor all the time too, dammit.
Anyway, so last time I wrote on this blog, I mentioned my friend Melva, who is currently in the hospital. I don't know any details yet, about what happened, but I'm sure it's related to the cancer she's been battling for a long time. It started in her jaw, but spread through her bones, and really, even though she hasn't SAID as much, I believe it's probably terminal.
She has always been my "mom away from mom," and my own mom actually told me that, at one time, Melva had sent her emails, telling her that I'm "in trouble," or "could be in trouble," and that she should be worried about me and help me...my mom thought, "Who the hell is SHE? And what is she talkin' about? My daughter is an ANGEL..." (Yeah, I had everybody fooled)...hehehe...but that's when I was telling Melva about my married man-boyfriend, and all the BDSM stuff I was doing, etc., so she was worried sick about me apparently, which tells me she loves me a lot.
Some people might be angry about having someone "nark" to their mother like that, I actually feel blessed that she did, (I was kinda reckless and out of control at that point), so I'm not going to mention to her that I know about it. There's no point really, that phase of my life is over and done and gone. I mean, I still do some kinky stuff from time to time, (once you go there, you can't go back to vanilla), and I still go to camp, but I don't hand out BJ coupons anymore!!
I was reading Melva's Facebook page this morning, hoping for an update because I miss her, and I found this---which made me chuckle, because she and I agree totally about Sarah Palin's stupidity---so I thought I'd share it with you....
She has always been my "mom away from mom," and my own mom actually told me that, at one time, Melva had sent her emails, telling her that I'm "in trouble," or "could be in trouble," and that she should be worried about me and help me...my mom thought, "Who the hell is SHE? And what is she talkin' about? My daughter is an ANGEL..." (Yeah, I had everybody fooled)...hehehe...but that's when I was telling Melva about my married man-boyfriend, and all the BDSM stuff I was doing, etc., so she was worried sick about me apparently, which tells me she loves me a lot.
Some people might be angry about having someone "nark" to their mother like that, I actually feel blessed that she did, (I was kinda reckless and out of control at that point), so I'm not going to mention to her that I know about it. There's no point really, that phase of my life is over and done and gone. I mean, I still do some kinky stuff from time to time, (once you go there, you can't go back to vanilla), and I still go to camp, but I don't hand out BJ coupons anymore!!
I was reading Melva's Facebook page this morning, hoping for an update because I miss her, and I found this---which made me chuckle, because she and I agree totally about Sarah Palin's stupidity---so I thought I'd share it with you....
www.politicsdaily.com
Sarah Palin is always right up there with Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich when it comes to polls about the 2012 Republican presidential nomination, but she gets a big thumbs-down in surveys of the general electorate.
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