Pete and I just got back from seeing the Blue Man Group perform at the Benedum Theater downtown. I've seen them on DVD, but actually being there in person is a much different experience. Very fun! I dunno if you've ever had the chance to go see them or not, but if you haven't, put it on your bucket list.
One of the things that made me laugh was all the different terms and slang and nicknames they offered for the word "butt." The funniest one, in my opinion, was "Flab Cabbage." I just love that! "Shake your flab cabbage!" hehehehe It just has a phonetically fun zing to it.
They had this skit, (I guess you'd call it a skit), where they offer "Rock Concert Movements," and they list them, like #1 is "Shake your fist." Then they have the entire audience do the move that they just described. One of them was "shake your butt," and they went on to add things like "Junk in the trunk," "badonkadonk," and "Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum." This list of words describing the butt just went on and on, and when I saw the words FLAB CABBAGE, I laughed out loud. Never heard that one before.
Anyway, it was fun, and now I'm ready for bed.
I'm making a "diaper cake," and before you cringe at that particular term, lemme show ya what I mean:
It is NOT an actual CAKE, it's a 2 tiered diaper thing that LOOKS like a cake. I'm making one just like it for my best friend's daughter, who is going to have a baby boy in September. I even have a similar giraffe toy! I got the ribbon today, and the diapers. I cannot BELIEVE how expensive diapers are! That is one aisle in the store that I typically NEVER walk down for any reason, so it really shocked me today.
In case you haven't figured me out yet, (what the hell, are you paying attention?!), I like to make stuff. I'm very "crafty" and creative as hell with a glue gun. So far, I've made this really cute baby centerpiece for her baby shower. It's a long, skinny vase that I inserted the handle of a medium-sized white laced parasol, glued it into the vase, and hung baby stuff from ribbon on the underside of the umbrella top... things like tiny baby bottles filled with Hershey kisses, plastic toy "safety pins," footprints, little yellow ducks, and other smarmy baby things like that. It turned out very cute actually. Here's a photo...there are plastic pacifiers, tiny plastic babies, just decorative baby items that I thought were rather cute. I'm adding a small mylar balloon to the top center of the bow on top of the umbrella that says, "It's a Boy!" on it too. Otherwise, it's done.
So Pete was shaking his head in slight annoyance at the fact that I had to be the one to come up with the idea of having a surprise "mini" baby shower for Emily when my mom and I drive up to Michigan in June..."why didn't THEY think to have one just for you and your mom to be there, why did YOU have to think of the idea?" I guess because they just aren't LIKE ME, and they don't THINK like me, that's really the only answer I can come up with. I call my best friend, run the idea past her, she likes it. Then I cringe because "Crap, now I gotta make FOOD and shit."
(Loathe baby showers, by the way, they are lame, and boring, and even though I love Emily to pieces, it's not exactly my favorite thing). So I call up my 18 year old nephew, Josh, who has decided he would like to be a gourmet chef...and I say, "Hey dude, how would you like a JOB cooking food for a baby shower?" And so I've got the boy working on a menu....ahhhh I love to delegate....and then I talk to my sister about it and she says, "Ya know, you could have it here at my house and people can swim in our pool if they want to..." so TAH DAH, that's really all I did to make it happen. Three phone calls. DONE! I am nothing if not efficient. (That should be in my epitaph someday). "She was a hot mess of a loon, but at least she was efficient as hell."
TEN DAYS AND COUNTING....wait, it's NINE days now....YAY!!.....Campity camp camp!! Ohhhh I can almost FEEL the breeze on my naked body as I waltz around the green grassy campground, feeling free and happy and awesome....it's such a very cool feeling, a liberating feeling, not to worry about what anybody thinks....if they don't like the way I look, they can look elsewhere! And I'm one of the SKINNY ONES this year, babyyyyyy.....I have lost nearly 20 pounds so far, and at LEAST 5 or 6 inches.....so I'm feelin' GOOD. I may not wear a bikini on a public beach this summer, but I will be skinny dippin' in the pool at camp for 9 days, so WHO THE HELL REALLY CARES?!
Ah well, so I have less than 10 days to get everything gathered, packed, and ready for the festivities. Actually, truth be told, I'm already packed....well, mostly. Now it's just the waiting. Sigh.
There is this story that a friend of mine posted on Facebook tonight that really just bugs me. It bugs me because, apparently everyone who wrote it, who knew the guy, AND who read it and commented about it, all seem in agreement that it's "such a touching story," and, "aw isn't that sweet," when, for some reason, I am disgusted and appalled by it. The story is about some guy in Maine named Frank Knight who died at age 103, after 56 years of fighting to save the biggest elm tree (110 feet tall), that was 217 years old. It apparently had Dutch elm disease 14 times, but he managed to save it every time, over those years. However, it finally succumbed to the disease, and collapsed. He nicknamed this tree "Herbie," apparently, and he said that Herbie finally couldn't go on anymore, and that his OWN time was coming soon. Well, apparently those around him kept this secret that they set aside some of the wood from that tree to make Frank's COFFIN with, and now he's BURIED in the wood of that tree!
His SON said something like, "That's such a wonderful end to know they are always going to be together, just like they were in life," but I'm sitting there thinking, "I'll bet Frank is PISSED." Ya know?! The guy wastes 56 years of his LIFE trying to keep this tree going, and all he gets for it is to be dead in the ground with it. What a crock of shit! If he had KNOWN they were going to make his COFFIN out of this tree he loved so much, do you REALLY think he would have said, "Sure! What a great idea! That's exactly what I was trying to save it FOR!" I don't think he would. I don't even know the guy, but my gut says, "You people are idiots." What the hell has happened to RESPECT for someone??? They actually believe they've done a GOOD DEED for this guy!! I was just appalled.
Maybe I'm the weird one, I don't know, but that story just bugs the hell out of me. Pete told me about the "illustrious 1970's," where a woman was actually MURDERED on a sidewallk in New York by a man she was trying to get away from, when a huge crowd of people gathered around her, just watching silently, doing nothing about it, and at one point she almost got away but she couldn't get through the crowd of people, and the dude stabbed her and killed her right there......what the HELL?! Pete said, "Glad we didn't have cell phones back THEN." I wonder if they were just all STONED or something? He said "Nobody wanted to get involved back then, no matter what the issue was." Yet they would stand there and WATCH this woman actually being attacked and KILLED? For REAL?!
Nowadays, everybody's up in everybody else's shit all the time. I just don't get this world. "Let's bury Frank in a coffin made out of that tree, what a great idea, he would have LOVED that."
Fuggin' buncha idiots. I don't know which is worse.
Well, I have to hit the hay, so have a great hump day tomorrow and I'll write again soon.
Love, Rebecca
No comments:
Post a Comment