Well well well, my gorgeous friend, SOMEBODY seems to have had a wild night with a long-fingernailed sexy woman, didn't he?! Mmmm hmmm.....that long scratch on your face is pretty telling. Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more. (Okay, okay, go ahead and roll your eyeballs at me, sure, you can deny it, and say that it was from your cat, but for the sake of shits and giggles, let's just pretend it was a sexy long-nailed wench and get a few guffaws out of it). hehehehehe Way to go my sexy beast of a man!! WOOO HOOO!
Yes, I saw the photo of you with the former MTV dj person, (what's her butt), and yes, I enlarged the photo to see that scratch...dude, ADMIT IT!! You totally got naked with that chick!!! You can see her extra long fingernails!! LOL!! Ok, so maybe you can't, but let's just say, "You dirty damned dawg!"
Ok, ok, I'll shut up about it, but heheheheheheheh you're a dirty damned dawg. I love it.
Well, from one dirty damned dawg to another, you rock.
Yes, yes indeed, as a matter of fact, I TOO, was a dirty damned dawg myself for about 9 days. Sooooo, let's compare notes!! Kiss and tell time!!!
You go first!!!
Awww, come on, you can't just sit there silently, being all shy and shit. We're good buddies!! You can tell me anything!! DAMMIT MAN, just DISH THE DIRT!! We all wanna know why that mean MTV chick scratched your sexy face like that. You MUST have deserved it. Maybe it was the CLOTHES you were wearing, were you ASKING for it?!! hehehehehehehehe I'll bet you were.
Wellllllll.......here are some highlights from camp, that should give you a few giggles too.....
Pete survived the Boobie Brigade kidnapping that we arranged for him. His fantasy was to be smothered by lots of boobies. I know, right? Such a hardship, he's such a masochistic freak. I don't know HOW he lived to tell about it. Seven of us chickies got together, and managed to kidnap him after he gave me a massage, we dragged him into the upper dungeon area, onto a gymnastic mat, and proceeded to blindfold him (after taking off the hood), and then we smothered him with our boobies.
But get this----oh yes, there's more-----it was MY brilliant idea to add some maple syrup and BACON onto our boobies....I mean, what man doesn't love bacon, beer and boobs?! We skipped the beer, but the bacon and syrup were fun for him. As we were taking turns smothering him, giggling and trying to say sexy things, (without laughing), I bent down, and in a manly deep voice, I said softly in his ear, "Can you tell which one of us is the MAN?!" and he laughed his head off, rather nervously!! MMMUUUHAHAHAHA!!! TOTAL MIND FUCK ACCOMPLISHED!!! hehehehehehehehe
We even got him a commemorative t-shirt, that says, "I survived the Boobie Brigade at Camp Crucible," and on the back it says, "Boobytrap spelled backwards is PARTY BOOB!" hehehehehe
Top THAT, Mr. Scratch-on-Face.
Yep. Your new Indian name is "Mr. Scratch-on-face." Tell me more about that, it's your turn.
Silent again, are ya? Tsk tsk, you really should just blab like a fool and get it over with. You know you want to.
But, okay, have it your way.....damn, this blog is like talking to a brick wall sometimes. Ya turd.
Sooooo....here's another dirty damned dawg item of mine from camp......remember that game I created that I mentioned before? Well, here it is......in all it's naughty glory.....
Ain't it a HOOT?! The funny part was when I took some gummy candies and wet them down in water, and put a bunch of them inside among the toys. GOOEY WETNESS!! hahahahahaha
Awww come on, don't say "Ewwww," I mean, ya HADDA see that comin'. Sheesh!! It's not like I put FLARP inside it or anything. I could have really been gross about it, but other than putting a couple of red crabs inside as a booby prize, that's as far as I would go. I do have SOME class. Sniff.
People did have fun though, so that's really all that mattered. And here is what I wore at the casino:
It's a red and black corset, with a black feather boa, and a pirate hat head band.
And here I am, as a cowgirl, for our cocktail party:
And here is Pete, as a cowboy:
ERMAGHERD!! hehehehehehehe
He wore an old pair of my biggest "fat" shorts and we cut them off to make them "Daisy Dukes." The hat was borrowed from one of our cabin mates (friggin' hilarious), and the flannel shirt had the sleeves cut off. The bandana just set the whole outfit right off, in my opinion. Too funny!!!
This was our cabin. We decorated it with pirate stuff. That is the theme of camp after all.
And here is a tire swing that I was sitting beside, waiting for a group of Littles to show up so that I could read them a story. This dude comes running up and tapes this sign on it, "Property of the Woozle! No smelly Littles allowed! (Woozle = 2, Kids = 0)"
The awesome part of camp is that somebody comes up with a spark of an idea. Then someone else adds to it, and it just grows into this whole THING, kinda like writing a song....you get a little phrase of notes together, or a ditty in your head, a chorus maybe, and suddenly it just blooms into a huge song that makes you a million bucks. Well, that's the kinda creativity that I love at camp too.
So, somebody in the Kids Kamp came up with Winnie the Pooh's actual character of the "Woozle," who apparently only the Littles could see....adults couldn't see it.....and this creature caused all kinds of havoc. He knocked over their crayons, took their paints, and chalk, and messed up all the coloring books. The Littles of course, were blamed for all this chaos.
So, the "Woozle," ran around the camp, causing havoc. It was this guy we know who wore a furry costume, and at one point, in the spa cabin (the only cabin with air conditioning), our female friend "S" (no names), was getting a massage from Pete and after he finished, her kidnappers showed up, WITH the Woozle, who apparently had a big dildo attached to himself, and he proceeded to SCHTUPE her. I saw the whole thing, and it was hilarious.
At one point, he yells, "WHO'S YOUR WOOZLE!" and she yelled, "YOU ARE MY WOOZLE! OH GOD! WHAT A WOOZLE!" and everybody just fell all over each other laughing hysterically.
Ahhhh yeah....good times......
Sooooo....how'd you get that scratch on your face again, hmmmmm???
Betcha can't beat any of those stories of mine!! Camp was cool, except for the 2 times I got sick with a very low blood sugar---62 was not fun----(the camp food had WAYYYY too much sugar in it, which spiked my glucose level, and then made me crash hard, so I slept most of those 2 days), and then we had to take Pete to the ER because he was vomiting and looked green around the edges, and said he had pain in his lower back. After a CT-scan, it was discovered that he has kidney stones. He'll be going to see an urologist this week. Then his allergies kicked his ass real hard, despite having Allegra and Benedryl. The first night was FREEZING cold, I wore my footy pajamas, with socks on, and slippers, AND a snuggie, AND a fleece jacket over all that. The pool was freezing cold the first half of the week too. We didn't attend one single class, we didn't go to the dungeon even once to play, and basically it was a relaxing time getting to know people, having S'mores around a campfire, and doing silly naughty stuff. Camp is awesome. You'd probably go home with a few more scratches in your NETHER regions. hehehehehehehe If that's the sort of thing that flips your twizzle!
Bye for now, ya dirty damned dawg.....I love ya.
-----Rebecca
No comments:
Post a Comment