Another friend dies…and another Holocaust Survivor too….

Hi Steve,

I have been feeling rather down lately.  Sorry it's taken me awhile to write again.  Pete was in the hospital with cellulitis in his leg, and since he's been back home he has me running around waiting on him all day long.  I'm glad he finally went back to work on Monday, he was driving me bonkers.  I mean, men are really babies when they are sick, ya know?

It is very difficult when the Dominant man in a submissive's life gets ill, they start to lose their grasp on the sub because we notice they are becoming subbie themselves.  It's a repellant, really.  I don't know if you get what I'm saying or not, but suffice it to say that when Pete is sick, I feel lost.

Lately I've been feeling like we are all just sitting here on this stupid dying planet, waiting for ourselves to finally die.  I mean, really, does anything we do really matter?  I'm starting to feel that it doesn't.

Last Wednesday, another of my Holocaust Survivors, Walek Luksenburg, passed away. They are all just dropping like flies, and it tears me up inside.

Here is a link to learn more about him……he was a very quiet and intelligent man, very sweet.

http://www.ushmm.org/remember/office-of-survivor-affairs/survivor-volunteer/welek-luksenburg

It always saddens me to see my friends from the Museum die like that.  They are almost all gone now.

Another death is weighing heavily on my mind….my high school friend, Cindy, passed away today.  She had a massive heart attack last week, and needed open-heart surgery.  She also had a tumor in her stomach for the past 2 years but she didn't want to know if it was cancerous or not.  While in the hospital, she also suffered a stroke.  Yesterday, however, the news was great----she was doing better, no longer needed the breathing tube, and was talking up a storm to her dad and family. We all thought she'd be going home soon.

Today, she's dead.

…..I just put a get well card in today's mail for her.

It breaks my heart.  She was my age.  45.

She was one of my friends that I attended senior prom with.  I went with 4 girls and a guy, and we had a great time.  I wasn't going to let a little thing like having no boyfriend stand in my way of going.  Why should I miss out on all the fun just because none of the redneck boneheaded guys in high school didn't notice how awesome I was?!  Screw that.  THEY can sit home all alone and blue, not me.

And I'm still reeling from the death of Phillip Seymour Hoffman too.  I loved his acting, he was terrific. One of my favorite actors, actually.  I really looked forward to his movies.  What a stupid way to die, addicted to heroin.  I'm so sad about it, and he's left 3 little kids behind.  He was only 46.  Stupid.  Just a total waste of life, talent, and fatherly love.  Betrayal of the father.  It happens to us all.

So I sit around wondering what the hell my purpose is here on this planet, when chaos surrounds me….I mean, so many people are pissed off about the super bowl commercial where Coca-Cola had various people of other ethnicities sing "America the Beautiful" in different languages-------the comments from Republican conservatives about "foreigners ruining our national anthem" just kill me.  That song is NOT our national anthem!  Wow….I mean, it really has GOT to hurt to be that stupid.  NEWSFLASH:  The "Star Spangled Banner" is our national anthem, and it was written by a LESBIAN.  True story.  And if you want to hear our country's national anthem sung by a REAL and ORIGINAL native of our country, go to Google and find it translated in Cherokee.  It does exist.

Otherwise, all you conservative asshats, please just shut the fuck up. Seriously.  Just fucking shut up. I am so sick to goddamned death of the insanity all around us every day on this fucked up planet.  I just wish people would have that much passion for all the problems that need solving, to make this life a better one for people.  THAT would make life worth living.  But it just doesn't seem to be a priority.

I have to go. I'm just feeling overwhelmed and sad.  Sorry to be a bummer.  Next week Pete and I are going to Virginia Beach.  We have to use our week at our time share.  Lovely weather for it.  Bleah.  But at least I'll get to hang out with Kim and Kathy, and the 3 of us can yak about YOU for awhile.

Hey, I love that you had lunch with Lincoln Brewster yesterday.  He's a good guy.  I really liked him.  Hopefully the two of you will put some music together soon.  That would be awesome.

Well, I love ya, and I'll do my best to try and cheer up.  I'm just tired of people I know dying.

Bye for now.  Love, Rebecca