Hello Stephen,
I had my mom take this photo of me this morning, just for you. We have this gorgeous pink tree in the yard at our "old" house, that I will miss a lot. I wish I could dig it up and bring it with me to the new house, but alas, I don't think it would fit in the car. SIGH. So, having a photo of it is the next best thing.
I also took a photo of my "glow-in-the-dark" legs last night, because when I SAY that, people think I am exaggerating, but when you look at the photo, you'll see that I am NOT....now, before you look at it, please take every precaution, I don't want you to go blind from the glare...seriously!!
Now then, picture me on a beach, in a bikini (if you dare), and how bright RED I can become in the sun.... and that pretty much sums up why I don't own a bikini OR lay out on a beach in the sun (without 75 or more SPF lotion). I am lily-white all over, and when I wear shorts, I swear people cringe when they see me walking towards them, because it's so bright. I mean, this photo was taken WITHOUT A FLASH!! Sad, but true. I'm sure you are probably used to very tan women out there in LA, but I'm afraid I'll never be one of them.
I once tried that "stand in a booth and get sprayed" tanning stuff, but I turned bright ORANGE...like, I mean even WORSE than John Boehner...(what a collosal putz HE is)...but truly, I had to scrub and scrub and scrub in several showers afterwards to get it to fade off me, and it was STILL bright orange after a week. Sheesh. Can't do that tanning stuff. Not even a regular tanning bed, I tend to fry like an egg. Sux2bME. But I was born with white hair, so I was very nearly an "albino" kid. Weird, huh?? Can you say EDGAR WINTER?! hehehehe No, I wasn't THAT bad...my eyes are a deep root-beer brown, and as I grew older, my hair got darker, so I'm safe.
Ah well, so I was laying on the couch last night, facing the t.v. like I was on some kind of chaise lounge, and my phone was nearby so I thought, "What the heck, take a pic of the gams." So there ya go.
Anyway, today will be a busy one for me...gotta take both moms and the dogs to the new house, drop them off, go to my chiropractor, pick them up, go to lunch, go back and drop my mom off at the new house again, take Florence to her 3:30 doctor's appointment, then go and get my mom and the dogs. So, I don't know what YOU'LL be doing, but for me, it'll be a thrilling day of chauffering. (Woo hoo, I went to college for this). YOU'RE SO JEALOUS!!! hehehe Yeah, no.
Friday night, Pete is taking me to see Crosby and Nash...I guess they are touring without the other guys. (Stills and Young). I really don't like Neil Young's voice anyway, so it's no great loss if you ask me. To be honest, I wasn't even all that enthused about going to see these two dudes, but okay, whatever, Pete really wants to see them so I'll go. Soon we'll also be going to see (3 of) the Monkees with my mom and she will be able to meet them after the show too, which she is GEEKED about. I think that's funny. I mean come on, the Monkees?! Really??
Some chick on Pete's facebook wrote a blurb saying "Journey is NOT a guilty pleasure, I like to crank up the volume real loud whenever I hear their songs..." (I guess a radio station has a segment called "Guilty Pleasures," which is when you call in to request a song that you're embarrassed about liking so much, and are afraid others may make fun of you for it). So, I don't know her name or anything, but he mentioned it, and I chuckled because I've heard that similar thing on a radio station years ago once, with a Journey song, and I was disgusted and angry. How DARE they?! The rotten bastages!! Now, instead of getting irate, I just chuckle. I guess that's what happens when you get old. The irate passion you once felt just fades into a half-hearted chuckle. Why is that, I wonder?
Then on Saturday, we're going to a local comedy club to see LEWIS BLACK---he is a RIOT, and I love watching him on The Daily Show. So, that should be fun. I hope he'll meet and greet afterwards so I can get my picture taken with him! I had one with Lisa Lampanelli and Carlos Mencia, and another guy named Larry...can't think of his last name....and two other comedians who toured with Dane Cook.
Recently on Facebook, (one of my few vices in life), I have reconnected with my 6th grade teacher, Mrs. Bassett! What a hilarious encounter!! She taught English and reading, spelling, etc., and I always loved her class. I got straight A's. I told her that I read The Diary of Anne Frank for a book report for her, and since then I've been obsessed with everything Holocaust-related. She was floored. We've been writing back and forth, and she swears she wants to write a book about my crazy life. I've been wanting to do that too, but then I get really embarrassed, and figure nobody would believe it anyway, so why bother.
I remember in 5th grade, my boyfriend was Doyle Craker, (nevermind that the other kids called him "Doily Cracker") and oh my GAWD he was gorgeous---I fell in love because he had a MUSTACHE---yes, a 5th grade boy with a MUSTACHE---so I've always loved older men, apparently, even then when I was only 12 years old. We walked around that playground on recess, holding hands and smiling like silly fools...we thought we were so romantic...(back then, we didn't KISS, are you KIDDING? Boys had COOTIES). But we definitely held hands. And played dodge ball. He did his best NOT to hit me with the ball, and when we played marbles, he let me win a lot. Ahhhh, "twoo wuv." He gave me a Valentine made out of a crooked piece of red leather, shaped as a heart, and he wrote "I luv u" on it. I still have that damned thing somewhere in a box, probably all dusty. But I loved it so much I kept it.
So, my 6th grade teacher and I are catching up on life and it's been great fun. She's pretty awesome, though retired now. I told her I wouldn't want to be a teacher for ANY amount of money anymore, not since this stupid "No Child Left Behind" bullshit. I don't know why Obama doesn't just rip that stupid ass thing out of the schools and get rid of it. A teacher just isn't allowed to teach anymore, ya know? They gotta focus on test scores and money and politics now. That would suck hard. I'd hate it. I'm too damned creative for that frivolous waste-of-time garbage. She agreed with me, and said her children followed in her teaching footsteps, and both hate it because it's very frustrating. (I've got half a teaching degree...I stopped going to Grad School because I knew I wouldn't like being a teacher).
Anyway, sorry but sometimes I get off on a tangent about silly stuff like that.
My friend Charles Johnson, the jazz musician I told you about, who lives in Memphis, keeps sending me text messages, telling me he misses me, and thinks of me a lot, and wants me to type sexy messages to him, etc., but I find that a bit....well, a bit....junior high school. Lame. Way way too childish for me. I mean come on, I've been involved with BDSM for nearly 14 years, ya know?! I've been touched by the infamous LEW RUBENS, for Christ's sake...by the way, he'll be in Sacremento soon, giving a workshop about bondage. Just an FYI, in case you're interested. Lew is really awesome.
So Charles freaked me out by sending me a photo of his hoo-ha, and I thought, "This is getting weird." I mean, I have nothing against seeing a man's hoo-ha, don't get me wrong, they are quite lovely. But, it just struck me as something a 15 year old pimple-faced boy would do, ya know? Then he said something that made me totally CRINGE...."May I please you?" I nearly fell off my chair. WHAT?! That just gave me the willies---a man wanting to please ME?? Are you KIDDING?? WTF?? I am the submissive one here, folks, let me remind everyone...I'm the one who likes to please everybody ELSE in the universe, especially Dominant men. So, to have an old boyfriend suddenly show up asking to please ME is just the weirdest thing I've ever heard in my life. It made me wonder if he is submissive too.
But I said, "Cybersex, or "sexting," really? Egad." I just can't bring myself to do it. It strikes me as being so incredibly lame and boring, and UNREAL, that it seems dysfunctional as hell. Yes, even more dysfunctional and weird than being involved in BDSM, thankyouverymuch.
Then he revealed something I had only briefly suspected years ago when we first met....I was his first time. WOW. We were 25 years old...and I was his first time!! I hadn't really known that then, but now a lot of things I remember about him now make perfect sense. So he's been carrying this torch around for me for a long time, apparently, and wants me to send him sexy photos of myself and stuff. I don't know if he realizes, or even cares, that I'm now married to Pete...he seems to understand that concept, but also seems to ignore it. I don't know if I should continue being his friend and send him those sexy pics he keeps asking me for, or if I should just tell him politely that I can't do that, and he'll have to just go hire a hooker or something. I mean, DAMMIT you fool, why the hell couldn't you have RECIPROCATED these feelings to me THEN, when I was 25?!
He said he remembers that I always wore skirts and dresses and high heels, and had sexy legs. (He's right, I did wear skirts and dresses all the time, and high heels). So, that's one of the things that prompted me to take a picture of my legs last night while I was laying on the couch. I don't know how "sexy" they are, really, but ok, I guess I'll take that as a compliment...even if he DOES mean my 25 year old legs, not my 43 year old legs. I am happy to report, however, that I do NOT have any CELLULITE on these legs of mine!! But the photo kinda makes me think of the phrase "Thunder Thighs." When I was young, my grandpa called me BIRD LEGS, because I was so skinny, and my legs were so long. I am 5' 7" tall right now, so that helps me look less chubby...though I do have some of that goin' on too. SIGH. So, they aren't really "bird legs" anymore, but have become "thunder thighs."
Bottom line: Irate turns to chuckling, bird legs turn to thunder thighs, and getting old sucks.
Well, I just needed to take some time and get out from under all these boxes and newspapers and tape and markers, I'm getting tired of packing. But, next weekend we'll have people helping us move, and a 17 foot truck, so I've gotta get a pile of boxes ready for people to load.
I found a used Monopoly game at a thrift store last week, so I'm going to re-create it as Journey-opoly. I can't wait to present it to Neal and the boys in August when I meet them before the concert. He might just turn up his nose at it, who knows, (the retard didn't think "Open Arms" would be a popular song either, remember?), but I think if it really was created for REAL, it would make a lot of $$ for you & all of them too. I think I'd like to go down in history saying, "Yeah, I helped create Journey-opoly, and kept Steve Perry entertained with my silly blog." What a claim to fame THAT would be....NOT!! hehehehehehe
Oh well, have a great day...hope life is treating you well...get busy with that new album too!!
Love, Rebecca
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