Mmm-hmmm...what's your excuse??

Dear Stephen,  pay close attention...HEY! YOU! I said PAY ATTENTION!  I've got my eye on you!!

   

This is the most important thing I've ever had to say to you so listen up:

You, Mr. Stephen Ray Perry, Sir, are a lazy ass.

Yep.  I said it.  And I mean it.  Ya know WHY?? Because TONY FRIGGIN' BENNETT is 85 YEARS OLD and still SINGS on a STAGE, and he's AWESOME!!! That's why!!

And what are YOU doing?? Sitting on your dead ass, secluded in a studio, playing around with songs that are already done and over with, when you COULD be singing NEW stuff, on a STAGE like he does!!!!!  DAMMIT MAN!!!  Get off your ASS and get OUT THERE, will ya?!

You're killin' me!!!


I love you dearly, Stephen, but SHIT DUDE, if you had been there last night---(and ya know, if you actually KNEW ME PERSONALLY, we had 2 extra tickets because our mom's didn't go with us----I would have handed you one free of charge.  Hell, I wouldn't have even sat next to you or anything!  But noooooo, you don't know me personally, do ya, ya bum. You COULD, very easily, but you haven't bothered to even TRY, now, have you?!)---but if you had been there last night, you would have been absolutely blown away by Tony Bennett too!!

And that's why I say you are a lazy ass.  So NYAHHH on your gnarly butt. (I really do love you, ya know, and that's why I am telling you this....so for God's sake, don't pout).  Sheesh.

 

You can make it up to me, ya know.  Look at this damned FTLOSM shirt of mine!  It's trashed.  It is faded beyond oblivion, it's got a bleached stain on the arm, but I absolutely LOVE IT.  So, since Christmas is coming and all, well, if you happen to have an extra one (XL) laying around, feel free to ship it to me, and we'll call it even.  (Yeah, I love having you on my bosom, what can I say! That way I've got you in the palm of my hand anytime the urge strikes me)!

I really have no shame.  But hey, that's what makes me so gosh-darned lovable!

Let me SPOON FEED you a snippet of Tony Bennett in concert, since you are such a lazy slob:

Here's another one....I have to send you small snippets because it's too long to email to myself and copy:

Yes, Stephen, that song of his goes for YOU TOO...."the best is yet to come."

Tony Bennett's DRUMMER was the same guy who played in the COUNT BASIE BAND!!! He must have been 120 years old!!  But he was SPECTACULAR!!! (Can't remember his name, but unlike SOME lazy people, I will go GOOGLE IT, and spoon feed THAT information to you too).  AHEM.

Do you know who that guy is?!  (SIGH, here's the answer, ya damned lazy bum).....

SONNY PAYNE!!

That's who!!

That whole Google thing took me less than 2 minutes, by the way. You really need to get with the program Stephen.  Seriously.  What would your MAMA say?!  "Stephen, don't be so lazy son!"

Okay okay, I'll stop teasing you about being lazy, ya wuss.  (Just CAIN'T TAKE IT, can ya)?

ROLLING MY EYEBALLS AT YOU.

I took this photo of myself last night after the concert.

It's rather dark, but I wanted to smile at you, even without any makeup on, to show you that I'm just messin' witcha, and that I really do love ya, even if I tend to give you shit now and then.

So anyway, by the way, Tony Bennett's daughter, Antonia, really and truly SUCKED.  It's nice that she's got this nepotism thing going on, I'm sure it pays the bills...and boy, when Tony looked at her, his whole face just glowed, he loves his little girl so much....and she's got daddy WRAPPED around her little finger like you wouldn't believe.   Because that woman CANNOT SING WORTH A SHIT.  I didn't even bother to record her, it was so bad.  He really shouldn't have her opening for him in concert.

But, whatchagonnado.

Okay my friend, shall we get back to the subject at hand, which is the naughty dungeon I went to with Pete on Friday night??  Oh yesssssss, there's more.....can your poor old heart HANDLE IT??! hehehehe

Damn, you wonder why I like being spanked?  I can be a total brat sometimes.  BIG GRIN!!!

Well.....let's see....we watched the "single-tail of DOOM," I got my spanking and flogging, then I stepped all over this total stranger guy with my shoes.  What else....hmmmm....oh yeah, we watched some fire cupping...that was awesome.  I asked if he might have time to do it to ME, but he was almost out of the liquid stuff he needed to set fire to his baton things.  So, bummer, maybe next time.

THEN, I was wrapped up in glorious ROPE, a nice bondage corset that Pete tied me into, and then I sat down in the corner, letting the warmth and the tight hug of the rope take me into la-la-land for a bit, (I love the feel of it, and it relaxes me).  Then our friend Lisa, who had come along with us, and her friend Pat (whom we had only just met), asked Pete if he would give them a scene.  So I watched him play with these 2 naked women, with vampire gloves, feathers, floggers, and a cane.  They LOVED IT, and I had fun watching Pete go into his "Dom-zone," where he is just pure concentration, getting off on making them react to what he was doing.  It's fun to watch him slide into that zone.  It's like he's on this mission, and it's of the utmost importance, and he has to be 100% focused on every little detail. 

The vampire gloves are awesome....YOU can go Google that one yourself, ya turd....(and like I said, I've got my eye on you, so don't tell your PERSONAL ASSISTANT to go do it either).

They are black leather gloves, with tiny little pointed spikes sticking out of them all over the palm and each finger, that you drag across the skin....especially after you've SPANKED the butt awhile, and it's all hot and red....scraping these spikes across THAT is like watching a woman fly through the roof.  It is MOST EXCELLENT.  If you push down hard enough, you can puncture the skin, which some people enjoy, but I'm not into that much pain.  I like the sensual stuff MUCH better.

Our friend Lisa is thinking about becoming a pro-Domme, and Pete joked with her while I was walking all over this guy wearing a thong panty and thigh-high stockings, "Rebecca could totally be a pro-Domme, because she doesn't really give a crap about it, and would never get emotionally entangled!"  Now, I don't know about THAT so much, but if that guy wants me to stomp on his ass again sometime, I may just do it for him.  What the hell.  I don't really care one way or the other, it doesn't affect ME.

Well, my friend, it's time for me to get off the computer and get things done around here.  Enjoy your extra hour today (daylight savings time), and be sure to watch the Steelers WHOOP Baltimore later. (My friend Barbara lives in Baltimore, and she texts me whenever the Ravens get ahead, with a lotta shit talk about how great her team is, yadda yadda yadda, but they always LOSE anyway)!! hehehehe

Bye for now, you lazy sexy bum.

I love ya.  And if you took the time to get to know me for real, YOU could give ME some loving, sarcastic teasing right back, because that's what friends DO.  (Or you could spank me for being a brat, whichever one you prefer).  *BIG GRIN*

----Rebecca