Your birthday...

Yessireebobarooney, Mr. Stephen Ray Perry, you're birthday is coming up soon...

All these years, of loving you and your voice and your music, I've never ONCE sent you a birthday card. I've never ONCE given you a birthday present.  Why, you might ask?  Because everybody and their buttfuggin' brother gives you stuff you don't need, or want, and make a big deal out of something you dread.  That's why.

But this year, I'm changing my mind.

I've already got the gift I'm sending, to Lora at Fan Asylum, for you.  In fact, I made it myself.  Wanna guess what it is?!  Nah, don't bother, I'll just tell ya:  It's JOURNEYOPOLY.  Yes, since KISS and Metallica have their own versions of Monopoly, why not Journey??  Remember that obsessive "kick" I was on about it, a few months ago?  Yeah, I created the damned thing, I even physically HANDED the idea to Neal and his posse IN PERSON, (which has amounted to nothing...big surprise), and since that really annoys me quite a lot, and because it's taking up space in my house, and frankly I'm sick and tired of naysayers who don't believe in good ideas, well, happy birthday to you.  I've just made you super rich.  So what if you're already there, now you'll be even more super rich.  Go patent the damned thing.

Seriously, I want nothing for it.  Sure, for awhile I thought about keeping it and just tossing it in the attic to collect dust, so that somebody when someone ELSE comes along to create a REAL version of Journeyopoly, I can whip it out and scream THAT WAS MY IDEA DAMMIT!!  Win a huge lawsuit, walk away rich, and tah dah, I'm the creator, and the patent owner, etc., what a great daydream that was.

But, honestly, I have lost all interest in the damned thing.  If nobody likes it, and nobody wants to do it, then SCREW IT, it only sits there reminding me of what a hopeless failure I am for even trying.  So, I don't want it either.  In fact, I'll mail it to Lora, and she can toss it in the friggin' garbage for all I care.  I'm sure she thinks I'm a nimrod for making it in the first place.

However...

Before you toss it, before you ignore it, and before you tell me how stupid the idea is-----

Call up Gene Simmons of KISS and ask him just how much money they are making from THEIR "KISSopoly" game.  Then call up the lead singer of Metallica, James Hetfield, and ask HIM how much money they are making for THEIR Monopoly game.  In fact, get on Google and do some research yourself, of other types of Monopolies that exist, and how much money they are ALL raking in.

You might change your mind about it then.

If you don't, you're a friggin' filthy rich idiot.  Happy Birthday to you, Sir.

Love, Rebecca