Penn & Teller's "Bullshit" show on Showtime...

Hi Steve,

Hey, what's with all these interviews coming out, almost daily, that pretty much say the same exact thing?! I mean, feel free to keep repeating yourself if that's what your goal is, but we (the fans) GET IT...you're writing songs, you may sing and record some, but you're not really sure you want to tour again.  Okay, that's all COOL and everything but PLEASE, will you just stop flappin' yer gums so much and get busy and GET IT DONE so we can finally HEAR YOUR VOICE again?!  For cripes' sake.  I never thought YOU would be a TEASE like that.  I'm just one of billions of other fans who are growing rather impatient waiting around for it to finally happen.  "Shit or get off the pot," my mom used to say.  Translation:  Don't sit on the fence of indecision, because THAT is still a decision.  Know what I mean??

You're killin' me.

Why are you so skittish?  What are you so afraid of?  You could bottle your SWEAT, SPIT and PISS, and WE THE FANS WOULD BUY A FEW CASES OF IT.  Don't you understand that??  Get over yourself, already, and just get ON with it.  Don't MAKE me come over there and bite your face off.  Cuz I will.

I love ya.  I respect that you want to take your time and do it YOUR way, on YOUR terms, and hey, I'm totally down with that....but, stop TEASING everybody with these interviews, and just focus on the project.  I don't want to hear or read another WORD about it, until it's DONE.  Seriously.  You've had nearly 15 years of doing next-to-nothing in this semi-retirement mode, isn't that ENOUGH "normalcy" for you??  Get back to the wild side....or as we say in the BDSM community, "Come to the dark side...we have cookies."  You just gotta get that badass MOJO of yours cranked up again, that's all.

So WHAT if you're in your 60's???  Sixty is the new 40 anyway, so get over it.  You're not THAT old. You can still crank that mojo if you really want to.  I have faith and I believe.  So, DO IT MAN.  Just friggin' DO IT.  Analysis often leads to paralysis, you know.  If you sit around worried about whether or not a project is "going to suck," (as you said in a recent interview), you'll NEVER get it done.  Take the leap of faith that you've taken so many times before, and WHATEVER you end up with, WE WILL BUY, WE WILL LOVE, WE WILL ADORE, AND WE WILL BE ECSTATIC WITH.  I promise.

Ah well.  Pete and I just watched Penn & Teller's "Bullshit" show on Showtime, (it's a hoot).  I really gotta meet those guys someday.  I'd like to shake their hands.  I don't always AGREE with them about stuff they talk about, but there are SOME things that I think they really peg as the absolute truth.  Tonight they talked about the bullshit surrounding ORGASMS.  Yeah, here's the funny thing, and why Pete and I get a kick out of it.....it's all vanilla people, talking about how "it's ok if you DON'T have an orgasm, it's the "journey" of the ride that you should enjoy, not just the end result."  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

(Wiping tears of laughter off my cheek)...

Yeah, that was a good one.  Makes me wanna get on my sybian and RIDE. (Yes, I do have one).

Then they had this "female ejaculator" named "Crystal Magic," (what a load of hooey), who apparently AMAZED and ASTOUNDED these people in a class about orgasms, when she ejaculated.......

I'm sitting there, going, "WTF?!  I do that every time, multiple times, and I've done it ALL MY LIFE. What is the big friggin' DEAL about that?!  Get her over here, we'll have a target practice and see who's really better at it....I'll win."  In fact, the last vanilla guy I dated was HORRIFIED by it, and thought that there must be "something WRONG with my plumbing."  He made me go to a doctor to find out if something was wrong with me, because he had never SEEN a woman do that before in his entire LIFE.

I said to him, after my doctor told me I was perfectly normal, and had a gift that most women would die to have, "most men would get on their knees and lick it up, so shut your pie hole, and deal with it."  Now, needless to say, that relationship kinda bit the dust real quick.  Good riddance to vanilla idiots.  Since that time, when I was 30 years old, I vowed never to date another vanilla clueless idiot like him.

Being a secretary for most of my life allowed me to sit ALL DAY LONG, working on my KLEGEL muscles.  I would sometimes bring a vibrator to work and go have a little yum-yum on my breaks.  I sometimes wore my anal plug to work.  I am NOT shy about doing such things.  In fact, one of the fun things I did with a not-so-vanilla guy was go to a public restaurant, with his remote control in his pocket, and the vibrating bullet up deep inside me...and lemme tell ya....I didn't eat a BITE.  (Cheap date, yeah yeah yeah, shaddap you).  I know how you men think.  Ya poop.

Soooooo, watching this show was really funny to Pete and I, and I said, "We gotta write to Penn & Teller and ask them to come to the dungeon with us one time...might freak them out."  Pete said, "There is a rumor that Penn has his own dungeon in his home, and he's really SUBMISSIVE."  Now, that really does NOT surprise me at all.  In fact, I think that is awesome and cool beyond belief.  I like him even more now that I know we're of the same spirit.  I like being friends with submissive men.

The shoe-sub guy that loves it when I walk on him in high heels, and once asked me to step on his dick----(shiver...ACK)---actually offered to let me wear HIS STOCKINGS the last time we were at the dungeon.  Now COME ON, that's really cool, I've never had a WOMAN offer me that before, so DUDE, that was awesome.  (I declined his offer, but it was very nice of him just the same).

Anyway, it is a pretty cool show, and they make fun of the stupid bullshit, like the "sex coaches" who get $495 per person, per session, to sit and talk about sex and orgasms.  LAME!!!  I turned to Pete and said, "DAMMIT MAN!! I WOULD BE A MILLIONAIRE BY NOW IF I CHARGED PEOPLE THAT MUCH MONEY TO SIT AND TALK ABOUT SEX AND ORGASMS!!"

Good times.

Well, I'm off to bed, maybe to ride the sybian first, and THEN to bed...but lemme tell ya a secret, Stevie baby, YOU have the mojo just like I do, and you know it.  You might even be submissive yourself.  And hey, if you are, that just makes me love you even more.  If you're more Dominant, however, you rock my world in a badass way that I absolutely crave.  Either way, you're golden.

So dust off the mojo, let it come out from the depths of your soul once again, and break out the SEXY along with it while you're at it, and GET OUT THERE AND SING YOUR ASS OFF.

Pep talk over.  Have a good evening and a very awesome weekend....love you lots.

---Rebecca the multi-orgasmic-ejaculating-slut-whore-intelligent-fun-loving-submissive-who-loves-you.