All my life, as far back as I can remember, your voice has given me comfort whenever I needed it, and today I once again come to you for that vocal hug of yours...
I just received an email from Kevin Chalfant....I had written to him last week, telling him that I missed hearing from his sister, Melva, and I asked how she was doing...I know she had been sick in recent months, she was battling cancer that had spread all through her body, but she didn't answer emails or her Facebook messages for awhile, so I was getting worried.
As a matter of fact, I just emailed her yesterday, with a copy of the photograph that Pete and I had taken with Journey this weekend. She knew how much that meant to me...
But Kevin told me today, that Melva passed away on July 8th. I had no idea that she was that sick so quickly after my last conversation with her. She called me in March, and said that she wasn't sure how much longer she had, but that she wanted me to know that she was home, feeling peaceful and calm, and that I shouldn't worry about her because she was in God's hands. I cried then, and I'm crying now.
Here is the most recent photo that I have of her...
So, this comes as a bit of a shock to me, to say the least. Melva was really much more than a friend to me, for many years. I was 27 years old when I left Michigan to "change the world" by moving to Washington DC...I really thought I could make a difference in this world somehow by going there.
Melva was like my "mom-away-from-mom." She witnessed just how I got chewed up and spit out of that God-forsaken hellhole over the next decade...but let me back up for a minute....
We met by accident, I was looking on the internet at the web site for The Storm, and there was a message board, and one of the messages someone wrote was "to my loving brother..." and I thought, "wow, that's cool...I didn't know Kevin had a brother...." so I sent a quick hello, just to say that I had seen Kevin and the guys perform and I got to meet them, etc., and I just wanted to tell this sibling that I enjoyed Kevin's music and I hoped his family was proud of him. I never expected a response, but she wrote back to me, (I thought she was a HE but I was wrong), and we have been best buddies ever since.
She came to visit me and I took her all over DC's main sites, as well as on a tour of the US Holocaust Memorial Museum where I worked at the time. We laughed our heads off, we had a great time, and I felt like I had met a very kindred spirit that I suddenly felt so much love for, so quickly. She was that kind of person, very lovable, very personable, fun, and she loved to joke a lot. She also was very motherly, and at the time, I was very lonely in DC. I just didn't know anybody. I was all alone for a long time, and she and I chatted on the computer every day, so I felt much less alone because of her.
She gave me motherly advice about men, relationships, working with difficult people, trying to stay sane in an insane world (I call DC "FUBAR CITY" to this day), and she witnessed first hand all the trials and tribulations I went through while I lived in DC. My own mother (at that point, in my early 30's), had a nervous breakdown and was not someone capable of being motherly or comforting to anyone for quite a long time. I felt like I had lost my mom, and I didn't know who this new person was, who occupied her body. So I mourned that for awhile, and Melva understood, because she had been a nurse for many years. She helped me understand what a nervous breakdown was, and what I could do for her, etc., which really helped me a lot.
Melva also invited me to come visit her, in Illinois, and I did. She took me all over to see Abraham Lincoln's birthplace, where he grew up, where he worked as a lawyer, and where he was buried. We had just seen the Ford's Theater in DC when she had come to visit me, and until then, she hadn't been to where he had died before, so this was like a full tour of his entire life for both of us. It was extremely interesting, and we were both fascinated by him. (I still am). Her husband Tom was very friendly and fun, he joked around just as much as she did, though he was also more reserved and somewhat shy at first. I met their daughter Susan too, and she seemed very nice, and we all had a very pleasant visit.
Over the years, we kept in touch with emails, phone calls, and then on Facebook. I sent her birthday cards, Christmas cards, and "Thinking of You" cards....I even sent her Mother's Day cards....(I love sending cards if you haven't figured that out). She was never far from my thoughts, and I told her every time we talked that I loved her.
I didn't know it at the time, but Melva had contacted my mother to tell her she was worried about me, regarding my dabbling into "naughty stuff," and what was my mom going to do about it? My mom had no idea what she was talking about, and basically said, "Mind your own business." Melva worried about me more than my own mom. And yes, I did get involved in some "naughty stuff," how can you avoid that "naughty stuff" when you're living in the nastiest, most evil place on the planet?? (I will say that it might have been considered "naughty," but HOT DAMN it was fun)!!!
So, this woman cared for me like I was her second daughter, and she sent me pictures of her grandchild, Angela, and told me all about her dogs, and her every day life, just like I did with her about mine. I sent her photos of my family, and friends, and she pretty much knew the entire story of my life.
I will never forget her. I will always cherish the friendship we had for so many years.
She even went to her brother, Kevin, and told him that I could help him with a project he was working on. He paid me to do it, and I helped, several times actually, by going to the Patent and Trademark office, to look up various rock-and-roll band names, to see if they were already taken or not. Then I helped him with another project to do research on radio stations that might play new material from older artists, instead of just the same old stuff all the time, from decades ago. I worked cheaper than any lawyer, that's for sure, and he really appreciated it. We've been friends ever since, too. In fact, I interviewed him and Josh Ramos, and Gregg Rollie after a Storm concert in Illinois, for a fan-based website (which is no longer in existence unfortunately), and we had a great time visiting for a few hours.
So, when Kevin wrote to me today...I just lost it.
Anyway, I wanted to sit down and write some happy memories of Melva, to make myself feel better. Going to you, on this silly blog, is comforting somehow. Your voice has always been like a hug from afar, so I thought this was as good a time as any to come to you now for that same feeling of a hug.
So, thanks for listening, and for comforting me by reading my grief while I'm rambling on...I wish you could have known Melva, she was awesome. There will never be anybody else like her in my life again.
Love ya lots....and I send YOU a big hug too. Now get off your duff and get busy on that album!!!
Love, Rebecca
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