In case you had this problem....

Hi Stephen,

Well....this is.....quite odd....the whole blogger web site has changed its format.  I am freaked out by it.

WHY am I freaking out, you ask?

Because apparently I have had 5,808 page views....that means 5,808 people have viewed this blog of mine....holy SHIT that freaks me right the hell out.  Seriously.  It is scary.  WTF is going ON?!!

You people should go read OTHER, more INFORMATIVE blogs, that actually have some intelligence, some important topics, some actual substance.  I mean why waste your time on this one?  Five THOUSAND people have viewed this?! Are you all bored to death out there in la-la-land, or WHAT??

I really don't know what the hell to think about this.  FIVE THOUSAND PEOPLE?? Reading THIS?!

This blog was supposed to just be my MUSE, folks.  Something I do just to waste MY time, not yours. So go do something productive, you silly silly people. You're all just creeping me out.  I guess I'm irrational for thinking this PUBLIC FORUM would remain a "secret," huh?  Well, shame on me then. I should be shot in the face with a bazooka for such an idiotic thought.  Ha....yeah, I'm really just a hot mess, what can I say. You should all know that by now.

But now, all of you 5,808 people who have viewed this blog must realize, of course, that I feel that I must now CENSOR MYSELF, and BE CAREFUL of what I write here.  And, frankly, that sucks.  You're actually killing a creative human, (me), by indulging YOURSELVES in this silly, private guilty pleasure of MINE.  Now I feel like there is an actual AUDIENCE out there, and DAMMIT TO HELL, that is just too much PRESSURE!!!

Cripes, folks, gimme a break.  I write because I need to write.  It's one of my strange quirks.  I don't write to entertain an audience.  Sure, for awhile I thought I would go into journalism, until I realized that it's all YELLOW nowadays, and full of FLUFF, written for the 5th grade level.  I've had a couple of magazine articles published, but that's it.  So, most of my life, I have only written journals.

This blog, in effect, has really been a journal that I've written, for ME, to entertain MYSELF, with silly, sometimes bizarre, conversations that I might have if I ever got the chance to sit down for real, in person, and have some coffee with Steve Perry.  That's all it was ever meant to be.  Just a daydream.

So.....DISCLAIMER.....I apologize profusely if I have ever offended anyone with any of my ramblings and insane comments and silly bizarre stories. Please find another blog that seems more interesting, and ignore me.  I beg of you.  I am not worthy of your attention.  I would rather fade into the wood work and be ignored.  Honest.

Most blogs are created to inform people of something important, or to teach something, or to share an intriguing or unusual event, place, etc.  My life is anything BUT intriguing, though I will admit that it does have an element of the unusual.  I'm not informing you of anything important, though.  I'm not teaching you much of anything either.  So I guess I just don't understand why 5,808 of you are reading it. There HAS to be other things that are MUCH better out there for you to spend time doing?

Okay, so.....well.....ummmm....maybe I need to delete some posts.  I don't know.  I've written a whole lotta shit here, folks, that might be considered "risque," or "taboo," or just plain "naughty."  I am a badass rebel, a liberal minded, sexual being.  Maybe I need to add some legal X rating or something, to keep the teenagers outta here.  I really don't know.  My imagined "audience" was simply Steve Perry. Cause he's also a badass rebel, with a (hopefully) liberal mind, and I KNOW he's a sexual being too. Lots of people fit that description.  He's just one of those people that I thought might be fun to know and talk to, about all kinds of stuff.

But, keep in mind please, that he is just one guy, an OLD RETIRED GUY, who lives wayyyy on the other side of the country, far far away in another world, who might someday get a chuckle or two here and there while reading it---IF he ever stumbled on it by accident.  He is the only person I ever imagined might actually read it someday, but even THAT was just a silly IMAGINING....a total pipedream, daydream, wet dream....you can call it whatever you want, but the bottom line is, it's a DREAM.  An IMAGINARY DREAM of mine that will most likely never HAPPEN anyway.

I think maybe I've overstepped my own creativity and gotten myself into a world of shit somehow, without meaning to.

My stomach is full of butterflies right now.  I feel like I'm going to pass out.

You scare me, people.  You really scare me.  I demand that you all become instantly illiterate, and go away.  Go play tiddlywinks, or something.  Or worse, Sudoko.  Bingo?  Old Maid?  FISH?!!

Let me be blunt.....(who ME??! Noooo, not ME).....

If you come here to read this crap, thinking that Steve Perry might actually READ IT, or worse, if you think he might actually RESPOND TO IT, you my dear reader, are highly delusional, overly immature, and simply schitzoid.  In fact, that kind of weirdness should be locked up in an asylum somewhere in Timbuktu.

Let me just say this.....The man does NOT sit on the computer all day.  He's busy living his life.  He's a private human being, and he is 64 years old.  He is just somebody's father, he's someone's grandfather, he's a RETIRED singer, and he is simply an older guy who doesn't know much about computer stuff.  That's it.  He puts his jeans on one leg at a time.  He farts.  He burps.  He picks his nose.  He is an imperfect human being, just like we all are.  SURE, he's talented beyond infinity...pun intended...you'll get no argument from me about THAT fact.  But, it's over folks, he's done, he's retired, he's just plain old CIVILIAN Steve Perry, he's no longer in the limelight, he's no longer interested in fame, he's just trying to live his life doing what he's missed out doing for so many years while pandering to you and me on a stage.

Computers didn't even exist on this planet until he was in his 30's, and during that time of his life, he was too busy performing awesome music on stages all over the world, to CARE, or give any resemblance of a rat's ass about sitting in a chat room on the computer showing people his penis and hoping to score women.  He didn't need to do that anyway, he had groupies around him all the time.  He never trolled any web site, he never flamed somebody or harassed anyone or sent malicious code to hack into somebody's computer in his entire LIFE.  And, furthermore, he never peruses Journey-related stuff, he simply and positively does NOT waste his time on any of it---MUCH LESS ON THIS BLOG.

.........................pause............................

HA!!!  .....Pete just said he's going to buy me the book "How to win friends and influence people." He says I'm doing it wrong.

Ok ok, I'll shut up. Sorry.  You all just freaked me out, that's all.  I will now pretend you're not here.
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So......Hey Stevie baby, what's shakin', and whatchoo been takin', you sexy hunk of bacon?!

Here's a link you might find interesting.  Just print it out, put it on your lady in red's pillow, and watch the fun begin.....

 http://www.wikihow.com/Suppress-the-Gag-Reflex

Yeah, I've been doing research about this very important topic, for my class.  Interesting read, isn't it?

Rob Zombie is coming to Pittsburgh, to Stage A&E, which royally sucks.  Pete just told me.  I said, "Oooohhh, I love Rob Zombie," and he said, "Yeah, but you won't stand for him." (There are no seats at A&E, it's standing room only. The venue is totally LAME and should be closed down for lack of comfort for the audience).  I said, "No, no, I won't...but I might KNEEL IN FRONT OF HIM!"

BA-DUM-TISH.  (You expected me to be all innocent and nice and rated G)? Get outta here.

Okay, that's it for tonight folks.  Try the veal.  Tip your servers, yadda yadda yadda.

......I'm severaly quite verklempt by all this unexpected attention.  FIVE THOUSAND PEOPLE?!

I'll have you know that every DAY for six YEARS of my LIFE, I had more than 5,000 people breathing in my FACE when I worked at the Museum in DC.  Live people, in my FACE, not just behind a computer screen.  And MOST of those 5,000 people didn't want to have an intelligent conversation about the Holocaust, which I would have WELCOMED...oh noooooo....they simply wanted to know where the bathrooms were.  Do ya get what I'm sayin'?  BEEN THERE, DONE THAT...moving on.

Seriously, I love you all dearly, but please go away and leave me here, in my pathetic life, wasting time writing to a phantom person, all alone with my own delusion of Steve Perry conversations....ok?? Can ya do that simple thing for me? Please??

Shit.....I mean, CRIPES.....I really coulda lived without knowing all the stats of this blog, man.....now I feel paranoid.  Thanks so much for your patronage, I appreciate your curiosity for the morbidly strange and freakishly bizarre rants that I spew....but please go elsewhere, forget I'm even alive, and delete this blog from your computer.

Good God in heaven, now I REALLY need a Valium.

Love, Rebecca