The big picture ripple effect in life....

Hi Steve,

How are ya?  I hope life is treating you well.  It's a happy "hump day," so go out and enjoy it!

I'm feeling rather out of sorts, but that's nothing new.

I have this weird way of looking at things.  Do you ever notice the bigger picture of things going on in the world around you are often causing the ripple effects that appear in front of your face with people NEAR you at the same time?

What do you do with a family member who has given up on life completely, has no motivation, no ambition, and can't seem to do the simplest of things? I have no idea what to do about Pete's son Nathan.  Just like politicians don't know what to do about programs that try to HELP people.

We are six weeks away from the deadline for Pete's son to be taken off of our health insurance.  He has lost the ability to reason about things, to think things through, and he has no logic abilities.  I'm very worried about it, to be honest.  I've never had a kid, so I really don't know what to do, or how to do it.  Typically, I defer to Pete for decisions about his kids, but this time around he doesn't seem like he's able to deal with it either.  He's too busy with 2 plays right now to really focus on much of anything else.

I think being in a play after going to work all day is Pete's way of trying to cope with this stuff.  Or, is it avoidance?  Maybe a little of both.

See, Nathan is a good kid, but unfortunately he's been through the wringer since last November, and still isn't back to his normal self.  In fact, his depression is worsening.  Echoes of our economy woes surround us throughout the entire country...but this is happening to someone we love, our family, at the same time. The ripple effect.

He doesn't seem to WANT to go out and get a job, he's not even trying really, and frankly it's starting to piss everybody off.  Including me.  There's no excuse for it, he's almost 26 years old for cripes' sake.  But, he does have a diminished mental capacity right now, because of his episode with smoking not only marijuana, but also something called "spice," which caused all sorts of problems---including total blindness for several months---but he's just not mentally back to his usual self, and unfortunately, he may never get back to that point.  One lousy mistake, and his life is crashing all around him.

Everybody makes mistakes. Politicians make a career out of it. Stupid thing is, the 26 year old who makes a mistake ends up paying for it for the rest of his life, whereas the politician who has been corrupt all of his life simply retires with a pension, writes a book and makes millions, and walks away from it all scot-free. Something is hugely wrong with this picture.

I just spoke with Pete's daughter, who is letting Nate live there with her and her husband, but tensions are very high, the husband wants to kick him out.  She and her hubby are trying to have a baby but she's having fertility issues, (too much stress is my guess), and at this point, I see a very fragile situation that could implode on them all if nothing is figured out---and soon.

Just like we are seeing all around us in our country now, with racism rising, hate crimes, angry negative political ads pointing fingers, playing the blame game, and tensions are escalating to the point of what could turn into a horrible Depression like no other we've ever seen, and/or another civil war.

The social worker here in Pittsburgh that helped us with Florence is someone I contacted earlier regarding Pete's son.  He is going to try and help us figure out what to do.  But other than that, we are really quite lost about this situation.  Where to start? Who to contact? Where to turn?

Who do we vote for in November, to take over the problems of our country that loom like a noose over us all, every day, choking us slowly because nobody seems to want to actually WORK to solve the problems??  They'd rather sit and be paralyzed and do nothing, just bicker amongst themselves instead.

It is all so very frustrating. You want to vote, you want to fix the problems, you want to save the world....but at the same time, you know your vote won't matter much, it's all about money, who has the most cash wins, and why bother voting at all?

Nate does get some disability for this problem, however, it's not enough to live on and so we have been paying the remainder of rent due, to help Pete's daughter out while he's living with her, but that cannot keep happening either.  He is unmotivated, he doesn't seem to care, he breaks things and eats all the food, doesn't clean anything, doesn't even clean himself---it's becoming a major problem for the whole family.  This kid simply doesn't know how to live.

Americans in general----the 99%-----don't seem to know how to live anymore either.

Are you starting to get the gist of what I'm trying to say?  The ripple effect?  Are you seeing it?

Nathan's mother is the same way, unfortunately, and just doesn't know how to function like a regular person.  That's a hell of an example to set for your son, don't you agree?  Very frustrating, to say the least.  She is always calling Pete every other month to beg for money---her alimony payments are long OVER, and she had SEVEN YEARS of them----but she's still only working 10 hours at a part-time job, and it never stretches far enough to pay the bills.  Pete just keeps giving in, and sending her money.  It makes me angry.

It makes a lot of people angry when a president tries to reform a healthcare system that doesn't work, too, because they aren't happy with the solution---yet they don't have any alternative or better answers to the problem to contribute themselves.  What gives them the right to bitch about something they can't improve upon?

What can I say really?  Can I really deny the mother of Pete's children a little financial boost now and then?  Would that be fair?  Do we owe her anything?  No, Pete has more than paid his financial obligation to her.  Does the government owe US anything?  Not really.

But, unless someone bigger than John Q. Public tries to help people, the burden rests on the middle class, and that's not going to sustain itself for very long.

Pete's ex-wife goes to her own KIDS to beg for money too, and Pete hates that even more.  They don't have it to give her, (just like the middle class can't sustain helping others for very long), and she knows that Pete does, (Pete's bigger than his kids and has more money than they do)....and she knows Pete doesn't like it when she begs their kids for money either.  She's manipulative, and a burden on everybody, yet nobody seems to want to kick her to the curb for some reason.  This woman is pushing her limits, and I'm getting fed up.

A lot of people claim that welfare recipients take advantage of the system too, just like this situation.  I know people however, who NEED that assistance, and NEVER take advantage of it, so I find flaws in those claims, because it's NOT all BLACK OR WHITE...there is a LOT of grey area in every argument regarding the government, and politics.

Pete says I'm too harsh, too brutal sometimes with people---but I say he coddles people too much.  I believe in tough love, sure, life is rough, life isn't fair, suck it up and get busy dealing with it.  I think Nathan needs a swift kick in the pants, and we should go sign his ass up for army bootcamp.  Send his ass off to the wild blue yonder to teach him some discipline.  That is MY suggestion. (I thought the same thing for my own nephew--and this past weekend, even HE said he wants to join the drum corps, which is the next best thing to the army).  I applauded his decision.

But, with Nathan, of course, Pete disagrees with that idea.  Here's the funny thing. Pete claims to be a libertarian, yet he (the symbol of big government in my comparison between the ripple effect of our country's current problems and how it trickles down to families like ours), thinks that Nathan should be cared for, by his family, until he can "get back to normal."  Pete doesn't like that the government tries to help people with welfare programs, yet he wants to enable his own son to remain being a burden on us.

Pete--and many politicians----do not seem to want to accept that Nathan may NEVER be 'normal' again.  Some people who need that disability benefit may NEVER be able to work again, for as long as they live, but does the government have to be obligated to keep paying their way through life?  If they don't, they'll become homeless, they'll have to go to shelters, the bread lines will appear again, the money will be worthless, just like in 1929 all over the world.  Which is worse though?

Nathan sat his fat ass in a psych ward for over a month, with no real responsibilities other than to eat, sleep, and poop....just begging to get out and "get busy livin'" again, but now that he's out, he's just sitting around doing nothing and expecting everybody ELSE to take care of him.  It's pathetic.

Is this what Republicans think welfare recipients do everywhere, all the time, too?  Because it isn't at all what the reality is.  Sure, there are some people out there who live like that.  You'll get them no matter WHAT the program, no matter WHAT the charity, no matter WHAT you try and help someone with. There will always be a few bad apples in the bucket, no matter which tree you pick them out of.

But if Nathan thinks doing nothing all day, every day, is "living," then I say he can go live in a mental facility group home, assisted living, or even adult day care facility from now on.  He can become a burden on society, and rot his life away because that seems to be where he's headed, if he's not able to get off his ass and get a job.

Nathan is 26.  Nathan has no physical disabilities.  He has a slower brain right now, that may or may not be a temporary setback.  We don't know.  But he can still work.  Trouble is, mentally, he doesn't seem capable of it, and is AFRAID to try.  So many Americans are in this same boat, literally or figuratively, and we are ALL somewhat paralyzed by it right now, on the edge of an election that could turn things very bad, or keep things hopefully going better for another 4 years.  The unknown is the thing that keeps people nervous, and scared, and afraid.  All around us, people are living in fear, all the time.  That's the problem with our country, and our world in general.  Living in fear.  The bad guys, the corrupt politicians, ALL WANT YOU TO LIVE IN FEAR, so they can better CONTROL you.

But I believe in personal empowerment, and building self-esteem, and helping others.

I had to send Nate a text message Sunday evening to REMIND him to take his sister to work on Monday morning and use the car to go job hunt.  I told him to send me the list of places he applied to, and then next week he'll have to go back to those same places to follow up on his applications.

I shouldn't have to do any of that.  He's a grown adult man.  He should know HOW to do these things.

And I say, if you're helping someone, because they are disabled, you cannot FAULT THEM because 9 times out of 10 that disability WASN'T THEIR FAULT.  Life sometimes just HAPPENS to people, and too often, horribly bad things happen to really good people every day.  It doesn't mean they have to be penalized for it for the rest of their lives!!

But that's where a lot of 20-something's fail at the whole job hunting thing: they never go BACK to bug people about getting hired. They fill out an online application at home while sitting in their underwear, and then they never check back on it, and just figure "nobody is hiring."  Bullshit.  LOTS of places are hiring, they just don't want to pound the pavement and DO THE WORK that comes with GETTING the job.  Then once they DO get hired, they don't want to do the work they were hired to do!  Employers with online applications get a stack of THOUSANDS of them in their inbox, and not ONE of them stand out without some kind of reminder, like a simple phone call, "Hi, this is Nathan, I applied for the job with your company last week..."  It's really very simple.

The squeaky wheel always gets the grease, as my grandmother used to say.  If you squeak loud enough and often enough, you'll be the one at the forefront of everybody's minds when it comes to hiring someone.  Employers like persistence, determination, and perseverance.   At least, in my day, they did.  Nowadays, who knows.  With the economy struggling, it's hard to say really. But, you GOTTA follow up on an application, to let them know you're still interested.  I bugged several people at the Museum in DC with phone calls for months before I finally got an interview.  And I got hired.  I wanted it badly, and I made sure they knew it.

So then I had to send him another text, reminding him to go to temp agencies too, and call them once a week to pester them about any jobs that are available.  His money from disability benefits, and his time on our medical insurance is running out, so if he doesn't get off his dead ass to get a job and SOON, he's shit outta luck, and might end up homeless.  At least, maybe THAT would get him motivated.

I told Pete's daughter---and with the crash of the stock market in 1929, this was reality----sometimes you have to let a person fail miserably in order to jolt them into reality and get them off their butts to change their lives somehow.  A swift kick in the pants, if you will.  Sometimes you just have to stand back, offer no assistance at all, and let it happen.  And that's not an easy thing to do, because we all have this compassionate urge to HELP people we love.

Especially if you're a parent and you're dealing with the youngest son.  Pete calls and talks to him like he's a 10 year old kid, he has to explain simple things slowly and repeat them, or Nate gets overwhelmed.  He's really making things difficult for everybody around him, yet he doesn't seem to realize it, or maybe if he does realize it, he doesn't seem to care.  He doesn't always tell the truth about things, either, so we don't always know who to believe when it comes to arguments between him and his sister.  She wants him to pitch in and clean up after himself and do chores around the apartment while she and her husband are at work---and Pete has agreed with them about it, and told Nathan to do it.  But, Nate claims he does, and his sister claims he doesn't.  How are we supposed to know??

The same is going on right now in our world, all around us.  How are we supposed to know who to believe, when it comes to politicians, world leaders, the media, etc?  We have no clue what is truth anymore, we have no idea who to believe, we have nowhere else to turn, and so we turn away.  We turn away, we try to focus on our meager lives and daily routines, rather than concern ourselves with the bigger stuff going on around us, because it's just too goddamned complicated and confusing.  Some people just milk the system, scam other people, Ponzi schemes, lies, bribery, etc., in our government and beyond, all the time.  We cannot concern ourselves with that, not for long.  It won't go away.

All I know is, Nate will NOT be living here in our house with us ever again.  No way.  I told Pete if he comes here to live, I'll be packing my bags.  I will NOT take care of a 26 year old kid who has no idea of how to live or take care of himself.  No way.  I did that for 3 years with a 90 year old woman, I will NOT go back to doing that again for anybody, especially not a lazy 20-something with no motivation.  He lived with us once before, and other than carrying heavy things or helping to move stuff occasionally, he was difficult to deal with because he was lazy, a slob, and didn't seem to care about anyone else but himself.   So he has burned that bridge, and it won't be re-constructed anytime soon.

You can only help people so much, before you realize they don't WANT to be saved, or helped!  I learned THAT lesson the hard way on 9/11.  You can talk all you want to about the Holocaust and the end result of stereotypes and prejudice and hate---but then suddenly you see buildings burning with planes crashing into them, and THAT'S when you realize that nobody is really listening, and nobody really cares about one word you've been trying to teach them.

So, then all you can do is step away from it all.  Say no.  Stop enabling them.  Stop fueling the fire.

I love Pete, and I know his family is a packaged deal...but having an ex-wife of 21 years in Pete's life, the mother of his 4 kids, who keeps begging him for money even AFTER alimony is done and over, along with a 90 year old bipolar woman with Alzheimer disease to take care of for 3 years, along with THIS situation with his son----well, it's just too much.  I cannot handle anymore.

It's ridiculous that WE have to SAVE THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD all the time.  Ya know what I mean?  Why do WE have to be the ones everyone turns to when they suddenly hit the skids???  It's something that can turn easily into resentment and anger, if not checked and kept under control.

Why do WE the PEOPLE have to depend so much on government, and politicians, to make the world a better place, when the POWER TO DO THAT IS OURS---ALWAYS HAS BEEN AND ALWAYS WILL BE!  We have always held that power in our hands, and we still have it.  But so many of us have allowed FEAR to remove that power, little by little, haven't we?  So many of us have resigned ourselves to turning away from the confusion and the chaos, turn off the nightly news that's always full of fear and hate and mean things, so that we can smile and focus on our little house in our little town and deal with our little problems instead.

While we do that, though, the bigger problems just grow like monsters, like a cancer, and get worse.  Sure, our little piece of the world might look great, but you've ignored the one thing that can annihilate all that you've accomplished in one fell swoop.  How stupid is that???  The false security you have, based on the tiny little scope of reality you've created, is really quite fragile and can go POOF at any moment, because that bigger problem is now knocking on your door, angrily demanding "WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?"

You cannot escape it.  Yet we all try, don't we?  We all do our damnedest to avoid it at all costs.

And then we turn around in horror, wondering how the hell things got so bad.

My best friend is the same way, and my own mother sometimes leans in the direction of "take care of me, take care of me, I'm helpless, I'm all alone, boo hoo..." and frankly it drives me crazy.  My best friend asks me for money a lot.  I have been sending her some every 2 weeks out of my allowance, and now her pregnant daughter is also asking me for money because she is on bed rest until the baby is born and she can't work at her new job at McDonalds.  I believe in sharing the wealth if at all possible, but at some point you have to say NO, and back off, and let them deal with their own problems.  It's a fine line between enabling, and controlling the proper boundaries.  It blurs a lot, when you care about the people you love, and want to help.  But sometimes, helping is TOO much, and only makes things worse because then they never seem to get OUT of the rut they're in, unless they are slapped with reality.  If someone else is caring for them, it seems they don't feel the need to do anything more.

This is not only our family situation, but it is also the bigger world picture of our current political argument, regarding healthcare and government financial assistance, or welfare programs.  How much is too much, how can you improve a system that has been broken from day one, how can anybody make things better when the people you're helping don't seem to want to help themselves??  Ayn Rand said, "get up and do it yourself," and I lean towards that philosophy more than the other.

But I'm also plagued with compassion and empathy.  I mean, my best friend has bad knees and cannot work at her job anymore, she sits home and gets disability payments but lost their house because of lack of finances, and her stupid husband gave up on life and sits home on disability, not doing anything at all....what kind of example did they really give their kids??  How can those kids ever learn anything else when that is the only example they've got?  Now their oldest daughter, my Emily, is pregnant.  She has lost her job, lost her apartment, can't work at her McDonalds job anymore, and is sharing a trailer in a trailer park with a few of her friends.  Is it their fault that all these bad things happened to them?  No, but they didn't plan ahead, they didn't seem to have a big picture of how they wanted their lives to be, they didn't seem to know HOW TO LIVE.

Do you penalize people who don't know how to live then?  Or do you help them learn how to live?

Who dictates "how" to live in the first place?  What rules, and who imposes them?

I have no answers.

Jesus might.  But I tend to learn more towards Judaism, so I am skeptical even about that.

But this is what we are dealing with, and if something doesn't happen soon, both in our country as a nation, and in our own little worlds----well, in my little world at least, Nathan will be in a shit storm of a mess that he won't be able to get out of easily.  I have a feeling the rest of us will all be in the same shit storm of a mess before too long, if things don't get better before November.

Living in a group home at 26, for the rest of his life....what a shitty thing to happen to a good kid who made a mistake and smoked spice.  He got a degree from college in underwater welding, to work in the ocean on oil rigs and stuff.  His dreams of doing that are gone, and over, and done, and he'll never achieve them.  And he knows this at 26.  He feels his whole life is over.

Can you really blame him for feeling that way?  Is there any real hope left in the world anymore?  He's just echoing the bigger picture of what's going on all around us, in our world, right now.

My best friend's daughter, had dreams of finishing her GED for high school, and going to college, to possibly learn to become a veterinarian.  Instead, she got knocked up accidentally, and is now scared shitless about having a baby at 21 with no money, she can't even get married to her boyfriend because then she won't get any assistance from the state of Michigan to help with baby expenses, like she will if she stays a single mom.  Naming him on the birth certificate as the father is the only way she can ensure that he'll have to pay child support if he decides to leave her at some point, but even THAT is a crapshoot.  My sister chased down HER deadbeat loser of a boyfriend for TEN YEARS to get that child support, and he had never ONCE laid eyes on his own son.

Is it her fault that the governmental system is like that?  No, it isn't.  And it leaves her with no choice.  In fact, lots of politicians want to take AWAY a woman's choice to have birth, or not.  Emily's family is Catholic, so abortion is NOT an option, but look at the life that baby is going to have, and ask yourself if that is any better??  It seems quite bleak to me.  Sometimes people make lemonade out of lemons, sure, but the way things are in our world right now, I don't see how that will be possible.

It's a shit-filled world of garbage, Stephen.  It really is.  I don't know if you've ever dealt with any problems like this or not, but this is how most people go through life, making a mistake or two that totally fucks you for a long time, trying to dig yourself out of depression and the abyss of financial stress, trying to figure out what to be when you grow up, ending up lost and alone, and scared.

I have been blessed.  I went through some tough times, but now with Pete, I will fight ferociously anyone or anything who tries to sabotage our happiness, because he and I BOTH went through a lot of crap to get to this point of finally---FINALLY---being able to breathe easy, knowing the bills are paid, the house is clean, the home is OURS, no mortgage or bank to deal with, no car payments, and we can go have some FUN for once in our lives.

Does that make us bad people?  For wanting what everybody else wants?  For working hard to get it?

Some people argue that the rich people shouldn't be penalized by paying more taxes than the rest of us, but guess what?  I am married to a man who makes 6 figures, so technically we are considered part of the "1%."  But, Pete and I both clawed our way up through the hardships, to get here.  We recognize that we had HELP to get here, though, we had a whole VILLAGE TO RAISE US, remember?  Takes a village to raise a child, but then everybody turns their fucking backs on us when we are adults??  Is that how it works with our government then?  Is that how We The People WANT IT TO WORK??

I don't think that's right.  If it takes a village to raise a child, then that same village helps us when we are adults too, and to PAY THAT VILLAGE BACK FOR HELPING US ACHIEVE THOSE GOALS IS THE LEAST WE CAN DO IN RETURN.

Some rich people don't understand that concept.  It's really quite simple.  It's karma.  It's the golden rule.  Do unto others.  You got to the top, you're rich, so why not honor that blessing, by paying a bit more in a TITHE to the government, like you would to the CHURCH you claim to attend every Sunday?

Double standard bullshit doesn't fly in my world, nor should it in anyone's world, who read this blog.

It feels sometimes like everyone around us is drowning in some way, and we're the ones on a life raft, watching the Titanic of the country behind them, and we WANT to help them, but at the same time, we HAVE tried to help, and they just don't seem to improve THEMSELVES in any way, and just keep asking for handouts and money and giving us sob stories, grasping at the lifeboat trying to climb in and threatening to tip you all over into the abyss......you can't blame them for it, you'd do the very same thing if it were YOU out there....but yes, I do understand that it starts to get on your nerves after awhile. You love them, they know you love them, but what can you do if they don't seem to want to get out of their own ruts, what can you do then?  Can you let them tip over your life raft?  Or can you figure out a better solution?  It'll be difficult.  It'll be a challenge.  It will take time.  But a better solution HAS to be found in order to save more people from drowning.

Say no.  That is the only answer I've got.  Say no, and sorry, you're on your own, whatever happens is up to YOU, your problems are not OUR problems, we love you, we want you to be happy and healthy, we want you to improve your life, but WE CANNOT DO IT FOR YOU.

Then throw them a life saver device, and let them hold on to the rope, and try to bring them with you to the safety of the shore.  THAT is the best solution.  But is that the right thing to do?  Is altruism killing our country?  We're all so busy "helping" others that we are losing our OWN sanity?  Our OWN savings accounts?  How much is too much??

I really wish I knew what to do.  So many people we know are hurting.  Our friend Lisa had been happily married but then her husband died unexpectedly.  So then she went to school and trained to work as an insurance agent, she was self-employed and doing well, for 15 year or more, but then 2 years ago she got screwed over by her mother company---they hired a new agent in her area, and gave THAT person 3/4 of HER clients!!----and she ended up having to sell her agency, take a job working FOR another agent, at less pay, which means she had to try and sell her house, but nobody would buy it, so she gave it back to the bank, and had to move into a small apartment and sell everything she owned.  She has no savings left, (she was paying to have her mom in a nursing home at the time too, but that drained every dime).  She's all alone in the world, and struggling.  My best friend Barbara has been unemployed for 5 months and though she has 1 or 2 interviews at the same places, she hasn't been hired yet anywhere, and her savings is gone, she just bought a house a year ago, right before she lost her job of 17 years (again, working in the insurance industry), and she's at her wits' end too.

We paid to take her to camp with us last year.  We invited her to come with us again next year.  It's the least we can do to give her a much-needed, and much-deserved vacation at least for 9 days.

I'm surrounded by these constantly needy people, all of whom are having horrible problems, and I love them all, and I want to help them all, but I have no way to do that.  I don't even have a job myself!!  If I went out to GET a job, while married to Pete, my paychecks would simply go to paying taxes and I'd end up with nothing.  But it sucks.  Maybe Pete and I should get our marriage annulled and just live together, so that I can earn money and help everyone else.  But, really, is THAT the only way to solve the problem, by ruining a marriage because of other people's financial issues??

This is the system as it stands right now.

(standing on soap box, with megaphone)....

People bitch and moan about the "sanctity of marriage," yet the divorce rate is staggering, and the system is set up to PENALIZE you for being married, making too much money, and there is no INCENTIVE anymore to stay married.  Women get the house and the kids when they divorce, AND most of the man's paycheck!!  WHY STAY MARRIED IF YOU CAN BE WEALTHIER WITHOUT HIM?!  It's a farce. Then gay people want to get married, and people are friggin' pissed off about THAT too!! You cannot have it both ways, you bastards.

If marriage is so GOOD, then it should be REWARDED, and should be a POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT of society----so why the hell wouldn't you WANT those "bad gay people" (in your homophobic opinions) to be GOOD, and do the RIGHT THING by GETTING MARRIED?!!  Even if it's to the same sex??  Who CARES!!!  If marriage is so goddamned wonderful, then LET THEM GET MARRIED.  If you DISAPPROVE of gay people, then step back and allow them to do something GOOD, to REDEEM their "sins," (as you perceive them to be), and allow them to be HAPPY, to be PRODUCTIVE in our society at last, rather than "a pestilence."  Why WOULDN'T you want them to be married like everyone else, contributing to the taxes of the government like everybody else, and doing the NORMAL MARRIED STUFF like everybody else?!  If they are such FREAKS, why then won't you let them become REGULAR NORMAL MARRIED PEOPLE LIKE YOU??!!

Fuck off if you're a homophobe.  Seriously.  Just shut the fuck up about it.  I am sick of it.  You seriously need to be fucked up the asshole if you're that homophobic about gay marriage.

(stepping off the soap box, putting the megaphone down).

Back to my OTHER rant....

Our friend Donna has a man in her life that has Multiple Sclerosis, and he's paralyzed from the waist down, in a wheelchair, living in an efficiency apartment, barely able to pay his bills on disability.  He's depressed, suicidal, and she is his primary caregiver.  They got married, figuring that she would inherit everything he owns after he died, but then he learned he has to go to an assisted living facility, which would drain every dime he's got, so she would end up with nothing and possibly lose HER financial savings too---she is a social worker---so the only thing they COULD do, to save their financial future together, was get DIVORCED, so that her job savings is hers, and his money pays for his care....but that is just shitty, if you ask me, that they felt they had no other choice.

Do you see the stupidity in all this?

Be thankful you're blessed to never have these types of problems, Stephen.

The thing is, with an election coming up---you've got a man who has been through tough times, struggled to get where he is, worked hard, raised a family, and made it to the White House with very little help from anybody else (mostly because of his skin color)----and then you have a spoiled rotten rich, white fraternity boy like Mitt Romney, who has NO CLUE about people's problems like this, and PRETENDS to be "one of the middle class," when everybody knows damned well he's a lying sack of shit.  If he gets elected, I'm moving to Canada.

President Obama may not be perfect, but by God he's busted his ASS to clean up 8.5 years of MESS that GW Bush left behind, he's been condemned, criticized, and made fun of, since  day one EVEN WHEN he solves something, or improves something, or tries to pass something like a new healthcare bill.  He's done more to HELP this country of ours, than just about any other president since the 1980's.   Every politician is rotten in some way, but his "rotten" is less stinky than Mitt Romney's rotten, so guess who I am voting for?  The guy who MIGHT be able to help my friends through this tough time, who seems to CARE a little bit more about the middle class, to some extent.  That's who.

How to solve the problem of Nathan?  That remains to be seen.  But it's not his fault that he made one mistake in his life, and he certainly shouldn't have to be ruined and penalized for the rest of his life because of it.  Saying no, letting him fall on his face, letting him make his own destiny----that might be the right answer, but then again, if he's mentally unable to do that on his own, doesn't he deserve a little boost to get him to that point?  Doesn't his POTENTIAL to BE a better person actually count for anything anymore? Can't we INVEST in people, believe in the GOOD of people, and try to HELP each other attain that goal??  What is so WRONG with wanting to see someone succeed in life??

We all make mistakes, but the governmental SYSTEMS that are currently out there and originally designed to "help" us, are FAILING MISERABLY and NEED TO BE FIXED.  So who would YOU call, as a handy-man politician, to fix such problems?  A guy who used his bare hands to crawl out of the racist society that we are all living in, to rise above it and be a dignified leader with integrity, who built his life from the ground up, worked hard, and persevered?  Or a guy who has had every luxury in life handed to him on a silver platter, who ruined hundreds of American companies and ended jobs for millions of people, just by the brush of the ink pen on paper, and who has never picked up a hammer or a screwdriver in his entire life?

I know who I'm gonna choose.

And Stephen, I love you dearly with all my heart.....but if you're leaning the other way, towards that other guy, my vote for Obama will cancel your snobby rich singin' ass like a postage stamp.

Bye for now.

Love, Rebecca