Hey I hope you've had a good week, wherever you are. Pete has performed his opening night at the Gilligan's Island musical tonight, and had to go out for the traditional cast party celebration afterwards, so I'm just chillin' out, getting ready to go to bed soon. I get to go see this play on Sunday afternoon, and we're planning to bring Florence along too.
I know I haven't mentioned her lately, but she's been doing pretty well. Last month, she fell 4 times, however, which is very upsetting---I am very concerned---and she broke 4 toes on one foot. So now she's in a wheelchair. She is really a trooper, though...still insists on getting exercise, walking around the place...but Alzheimer patients somehow can't feel pain...I KNOW that's gotta hurt!! I broke 2 of my toes on one foot once....silly me, walking the dog in the snow, wearing socks and Birkenstock sandals; suddenly she sees a squirrel, takes off running, and down the ice-covered stairs I go....but Florence claims she doesn't feel it, and they seem "fine." I'm mostly worried that another fall could break her hip---and I don't have to tell YOU what THAT is like. But for a 90 year old woman, well, that means she would most certainly die from it. You're actually quite lucky that your hip was damaged at such a young age---sure, even younger would have been MUCH better, I agree----just be glad you're not 90.
Ah well..........anyway, so today I spent my afternoon at the ole Walmart superstore....extravaganza. I get such a gross feeling whenever I go there. I don't know how to explain it, but it's kinda like standing in line at the unemployment office....which you may or may not remember doing yourself at some point in your life....but, lemme tell ya, the FEELING of desperation is in the air, thick as fog. It's almost choking you as you walk in the door. It's so overwhelming and overpowering, it's like you're breathing in a sickness that you cannot describe. It's a feeling of dysfunction, sadness, and utter despair. That's how Walmart makes me feel whenever I walk through the door. But, it's one of those necessary evils, when you have a 250 pound, 6 foot 5 stepson coming to visit for the next 10 days...yeah....Nathan will be here, eating everything in sight. So, had to have groceries ya know.
HAHAHAHA....I love that one...
Another thing I did while at Walmart (and thankfully won't HAVE to do much longer thanks to the new CVS being built nearby), is send a Money-Gram. I mentioned in my last post that some chick on this Facebook "Steve Perry Faithful Ones" page has been going through a very tough time, and she is one of the major players in the whole saga of that page I guess. She posts all the time, mostly photos of you, but sometimes poems and stuff. I don't know her at all, all I know is that she's in Tennessee. I sent her a little money today, as I promised I would, just to help out. Now, I know you probably think I am a very naive person...and you would be right about that...but at the same time, I am a firm believer in the whole "BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD" philosophy.
I've been through my share of tough times during my lifetime, too, (haven't we all), and there were days, even weeks and months that I would think, "Doesn't ANYBODY out there give a shit about me? Won't anybody even TRY to help me?" And I felt so isolated and alone and utterly hopeless.....it's not a great way to live, I can vouch for that. So, if I could rewind my own life back to those moments, and suddenly pretend that a GOOD LUCK FAIRY appears out of nowhere, to just hand over a little cash to help out with finances---well, that would be the happy ending that I never got when it happened to me, and why NOT give that happy ending to somebody else who is going through the same thing now??
I mean, in all honesty, I don't need that "good luck fairy" so much anymore in my "unresolved conflict" pile, because most of my unresolved conflicts in life have been resolved now. So, I figured, I can lend her out from time to time, right?? I told this woman to pay it forward, and she promised she would. That's good enough for me. Maybe I'm a schlub, (she told me herself that a few people on that Facebook page were apparently bitching that she was asking total strangers for money---but she never ASKED anybody for ANYTHING, so they can ALL just shut the fuck up about it, because when it comes around to be THEIR TURN having a tough time, that wonderful GOOD LUCK FAIRY may not visit THEM at all, and the "pay it forward" may just skip over them altogether.
People really need to stop bitching about other people's lives. I'm so totally sick of it, I could puke. Here is one of the absolute BEST things I have ever read in response to somebody complaining about Obama....one of those "Tea Party" people....and the response he or she received is just CLASSIC...
Now, I don't agree with all the name-calling in this tirade, (though "Teabilly Fuckstick" made me laugh out loud), but the message she's trying to get across is the same exact thing I have been saying-----ADOLPH HITLER used the SAME PROPAGANDISTIC BULLSHIT on the German population when he took power----"OH!! THE JEWS!! THERE ARE SO MANY!! THEY ARE TAKING OVER GERMANY!! THEY HAVE TAKEN ALL OF OUR JOBS!! THEY ARE THE REASON WE LOST THE WAR!! THEY MUST BE STOPPED!" Well, guess what?? The FACT of the matter is, Jews actually made up less than ONE PERCENT of the total population. ONE PERCENT. It's true. And the high muckety-mucks that made the decision to forfeit and lose WWI were NOT all Jewish either, like the Nazis wanted everyone to believe.
But, like America right NOW, Germany needed a scapegoat. Our economy ain't so great. Jobs are scarce. Our currency is in a lower status. THE GAYS!! THE MUSLIMS!! THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS!! THE NEGROES!! THE JEWS!!! Yeah, pretty much ANY convenient scapegoat, any port in the storm...do you see any similarities going on around us folks??? Oh but the Nazis didn't JUST pick on Jews....they picked on the handicapped, the gay/lesbian population, the Jehovah Witnesses, the Gypsies (Roma Sinti), and the Polish Jews as well....not to mention BLACK people. Sooooooo has this world REALLY changed all that much since then???
Noooooo, my friends, the sad fact is that it hasn't changed a bit.
And WHY THE HELL IS THAT?? Stop whatever you're doing and think about that awhile, ok? What kind of future are we headed for, with all these similarities going on around us? Do you see the pre-war Nazi Germany happening right now, here in the US, in your own backyard?
I do. I see it plain as day.
Keep in mind, I taught this history for nearly 6 years at the US Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington DC. I know of what I speak. I've studied the Holocaust all my life, since the age of 10. I am not an expert, but I do know the facts about it.
My point is, that is about the SAME amount of people in the U.S. ----less than ONE PERCENT----who misuse the system of public assistance and abuse it. That means 95% of people who need it, actually really and truly NEED IT.
So, I honestly don't understand why the HELL so many RICH people are so damned JEALOUS of POOR people with this issue, because really that's what it boils down to: jealousy.
That's exactly what it was in Germany too---their economy collapsed, the Versailles Treaty ruined it, so money was worthless after WWI, jobs were scarce, but BEFORE all that, you see, in most of the world JEWS had only been ALLOWED to have banking jobs--in fact, that was the case over many centuries, and therefore they were doing fairly well even during the bad economy, (making investments, sending money overseas to relatives, etc., things that the regular person wouldn't be able to do as easily as they could), so the Nazis were JEALOUS of this, and targeted them---how DARE they have good fortune like that when everyone else is having difficulty.....how DARE they have good jobs.....how DARE they ask for help when we ALL know they don't DESERVE IT---who do they think they are?? And we all know about the Holocaust, which was the end result of all this unnecessary jealousy and hatred. It ripped the entire WORLD apart, and ANNIHILATED an entire GENERATION of nearly TWO MILLION CHILDREN, not to mention the 57 million people total who died during that war.
Hard to imagine 1.5 million children, or 6 million Jews, or 57 million people, ain't it?? Well, the statistics of the children lost is like ONE WHOLE SCHOOL, DISAPPEARING EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR EIGHT YEARS. Just gone. Think about that awhile. Then multiply that for the 6 million Jews. And the 57 million other people who died. That's like all of Washington DC, Maryland and Virginia, completely wiped off the map. The entire east coast, GONE.
Is that where we all want to go NOW too, here in THIS country?? Didn't ANYBODY learn ANYTHING from that horrible time in history??
WHY THE HELL CAN'T PEOPLE JUST MIND THEIR OWN GODDAMNED BUSINESS AND LEAVE OTHER PEOPLE THE HELL ALONE?!!!
Don't get me started on this subject, seriously, I'll shred your ears and make 'em bleed for hours.
.....I'm afraid THIS is my demon, folks. It consumes me to the point of screaming passion, it makes my heart bleed for the underdog, it is my Achilles' heal....it is the wrong button to push on me. When 9/11 happened, and blew me right out of my career, my life, my everything----I was then consumed with hopelessness, despair, depression, and a horrible realization that NOBODY CARES. Nobody was listening to my SIX YEARS of lecturing about this topic. Nobody gave a shit. And I wasted my life.
THIS is the hardest part of who I am, dealing with that, coming to terms with it, trying to get over it. Occupying myself with cleaning a house that I don't deserve to live in, with a man who loves me (whom I also don't deserve), spending hours on a stupid ass blog written to a man----one silly, stupid man on this planet----who will never give ANYBODY the time of day unless he's on a stage doing what he loves to do most, and that is SING.
He's actually very inconsequential in the bigger picture of the universe, don't you agree? Sorry Stevie baby, you know I love ya, but when it comes right down to it, none of this bullshit matters very much.
Does it. Does it really matter if a total stranger helps out a fellow Steve Perry fan on Facebook by sending a little money? Why does that get your panties all in a bunch folks? Why do so many of you scream about Chik-fil-a, and how the CEO has a "right" to his "free speech," when the ISSUE is actually the $5 million bucks he donates to HATE GROUPS who target the LGBT community?
All I ask of the world and everybody in it is this: Please, take some time, examine yourselves awhile, look in the mirror, and TRY, just please TRY, to BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD. Stop blowing each other up in war, stop killing people over jealous stupidity and false accusations and stereotypes, stop the prejudice that leads to hatred, that ultimately leads to genocide.
I wasted 6 years of my life teaching this stuff, I can't sit here and waste anymore of my life talking about it, unless I can actually SEE some RESULTS of my desperate plea to the people in this world.
Stop bitching about the "die-hard Perryheads" vs. OTHER lead singers of Journey. Just shut the fuck up about it. NONE OF IT MATTERS.
NONE OF IT. Pay attention to the important things going on around you, that need YOUR ATTENTION, and stop wasting your time on stupid shit that doesn't fucking MATTER.
(I have this mantra going thru my head every day of my life, folks. Every fucking day. I used to have 2 jobs all my life, I felt purposeful, I felt useful, I felt important...like what I did actually mattered...but now I don't need to work, and I have LOTS of time to torment myself with this shit...I'm pretty good at it, actually....and yes, I say these same exact words to myself every goddamned day when I look into the mirror). This is my demon, as I said before. Welcome to my personal nightmare. I'm actually quite fun at parties, though you may not think so at this moment.
So, today I handed a total stranger a little cash today, SO WHAT?!! I actually did something important to help someone else who needs it. I paid it forward. I became the change I want to see in this world. If that gets you all in a tizzy, well, you're a lost cause, and frankly you can kiss my goddamned ass.
Are we all clear on that now?!! Good. Now get busy fixing your OWN life and worrying about YOURSELF and leave other people alone. Thanks.
In other news......
I don't know why, but I was flipping the t.v. channels earlier, and I stumbled on the "Destination America" channel----which is, for some strange and undisclosed reason, all about murders in the US. Gruesome, to say the least. But, for some reason I got hooked on the Lizzy Borden mystery, and the Jack the Ripper case....great googa mooga, I've been feeling funny all evening, as though somebody might be watching me through the windows......yeah, I know, I know, I'm an idiot, I should never watch that crap. SHIVER. I cannot watch scary movies because of that...and I get nightmares too. I'm a wuss. Now, the only exception is that I can and DO love OLD scary movies, like Dracula and Frankenstein, and King Kong, etc., from the good ole days when movies were COOL with Bela Lugosi and Lon Chaney, etc., the REAL deal. Those I can definitely watch, no problem.
HA, yes, I do realize as I write this, exactly what you're thinking...."hey, didn't you just say you worked at that holocaust museum? Surrounded by photos of doom, death, destruction, hatred, violence, and man's inhumanity to man, every day?" Yep. And I felt depressed by it. I had to watch the Three Stooges just to laugh at the end of the day. I had nightmares about it. I still do. I still have nightmares about 9/11 too...but post traumatic stress disorder does that to ya. So, scary movies, violence, hatred, prejudice, racism---------I cannot watch it, I cannot abide, I cannot approve.
That pretty much sums me up in the nutshell. Don't believe ME?? Then go read OMINOUS PARALLELS by Leonard Piekoff, who was Ayn Rand's assistant for many years. THEN come talk to me about how "it's never gonna happen here." I'll bet you'll learn just how easily it CAN.
This hate-filled climate in our country is heating up to a slow boil, and it's going to explode soon if we don't change our own behavior and our own lives and stop worrying and bitching about everybody else's. A big change is coming, a presidential election. It's got everybody walking around on eggshells, the fear of change, the fear of something new, the fear of the future, of success, of failure----it's got everybody in a tizzy about every little stupid ass thing, even Chik-fil-a for Christ's sake, and it's all got the common denominator of masked FEAR of the unknown. And the media reinforces that fear every day, don't they. Well, I don't like living my life in fear. So, I take great pains NOT TO. Sure, it's not as EASY as spewing venom, it's not as EASY as worrying about somebody ELSE'S life, it's not as EASY as telling other people how to live......but it's a choice more people need to make if we're ever going to get through this time in our history in PEACE.
All done now. Feeling drained. Bye for now.
Love you Stephen, more than you'll ever know. You're just one guy, and sure, inconsequential even--------just like I am....we are ALL expendable. But, at the same time, my friend, you're someone I admire, someone I feel love FROM whenever you sing, and someone I will always think of as the CHANGE I WANT TO SEE IN OTHER MEN, AND IN THE WORLD.
Love, Rebecca
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