Rumors about you....are they true?!

Hey Stephen,

Sorry I didn't write this weekend, it was a whirlwind and I was exhausted.  I had 4 hours of sleep Friday night, so Saturday was a very long day.  I got dropped off at the flea market (without a credit card I might add!!! BUMMER!!) and Pete took off to go fix a table at our friend Judy's house.  So I wandered around and talked to people I know, and just hung out at the place for about 5 hours by myself.  Then Pete showed up and bought a couple things, (including a St. Andrews Cross), and then we took off to see my friend David (former roommate), and his wife Hebe (from the Philippines).  We all had a nice dinner (I had a whole lobster---the 2nd time in my whole LIFE), and then we all went to the club for the play party.  So, by 2 a.m., when we finally left, I was TOAST.  Sunday we slept in, got a car wash, and hit the highway back home.

Okay Mr. Man....I have to ask these questions, because I have heard a couple of rumors about you recently...one I can believe, the other...well...I hope it's not true.  The first one is, that you are rumored to be attending the Grammy's this year.  The fan pages on Facebook are all abuzz about whether or not you'll be there, and if you'll be there alone or with someone.  I think it's cool if you do go, alone or not. I love seeing you out there having fun doing stuff like that.  You deserve it.

BUT....the OTHER rumor....it's GHASTLY!!

Someone said you have recently had a CHIN LIFT!!!

(INSTANT IMAGERY IN MY HEAD: Barry Manilow).

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Please do NOT let that be true!!! Great googa mooga my friend, you don't NEED that crap!! I know it's like some kind of unwritten LAW in California that you HAVE to get some kind of plastic surgery done, but COME ON....REALLY?!!  I know you've been vain about your hair----though someone also said you've been seen going around with grey roots here and there too (I've never seen that)----but your CHIN IS PERFECTLY FINE THE WAY IT IS.  Your FACE is gorgeous just the way it is too!!! Don't RUIN that sexy MUG of yours!!  Gadzooks that would SUCK if you came out looking like the Elephant Man or something.  Cripes, I thought you had more CHUTZPAH and SELF-ESTEEM than all that crap.  Sexy men like you are ALWAYS SEXY----didn't you get the memo?!  Jeezus dude, what the hell were you thinking?!

If you haven't done it---THANK GOD.  If you're thinking about doing it, NOOOO!! DON'T!!!  If you've already done it---get it reversed!!  AAAAUUUGGHHHHH!!!!

Stephen Ray Perry----DAMMIT MAN, I love the REAL you.  Complete with greying hair, and wrinkles.  Every filling in your pie hole is sexy too.  Every hair sticking out of your EAR man, it's all HOT.  Seriously.

What I wanna know is, who is the BIMBO that put you up to a chin job?!!  Who is the HAG who complained about your chin?!  Or anything ELSE on your body for that matter?? I'd like to smack her upside the head.  Don't listen to stupid California chicks, man, they are all so damned materialistic and full of crap.  Ridiculous.  Grow some CAHONES dude, and tell her to bite your ass.

THIS IS ME, TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.  YA DON'T LIKE THE WAY I LOOK, DON'T LOOK!!

I mean, hey, sure I put on Oil of Olay every day, so that I don't get as many wrinkles---but dammit, I have EARNED every last one of 'em, so to HELL with what anybody else thinks.  They are mine, and I wear them proudly.  Sure, I color my hair sometimes too, but I love being a redhead...and no, I don't like seeing grey hairs either, but seriously, those things are just cosmetic, they're not PERMANENT like a CHIN LIFT.  Good Lord.

Don't be an idiot, or I'll have to show up on your doorstep unannounced and smack YOU upside the head.  Seriously.  Don't MAKE me come over there.  (Okay, okay, if you INSIST...just give me your address and I'll be right over on the next plane).  GRIN!!  But be prepared to be PUMMELLED PROFUSELY for these shenanigans.

Ah well, I gotta somehow get the imagery of Barry Manilow's weird pixie head with your face on it out of my mind....eye bleach please....SHIVER!!!  GAAAAAAAAA....it's just so....wickedly WRONG!!!

I gotta scoot, but I hope you have a good week.  I'll be watching the State of the Union address tonight.  Apparently, Ted Nugent is going to be there.  Now, HE can go get a chin lift anytime, as long as they SEW HIS STUPID MOUTH SHUT.  That guy is a lunatic.

I'm busy getting ready for a Valentines' Party that we're having on Saturday.  So far, we have about 15 people coming.  Nice and small, but fun.  Can't wait to use our new St. Andrews Cross too....yayyyy....it's covered in red vinyl, for that special someone you love to beat!!! hehehehehehe

Bye for now.

Love, Rebecca