Soooooooo who the heck had $60K to give your charity for "coffee?!" That is just too awesome. I mean, there's no way I'd pay that….as much as I love ya….and I do, don't get me wrong….but $60K?! Sorry, but that's just way too steep for me. I do realize that you are worth every penny though.
I hope you had a great Thanksgiving weekend. Mine was a bit…well, I guess you could say, "sobering." That is, aside from the kink event we attended, we visited our friend Jeff (and his wife Bree), in the Baltimore hospital. Jeff is very sick. He is actually very near death. When you belong to a community of kinksters, as I do, you feel that you can really, truly count on people to be there for you. So whenever somebody in the scene is in need of help, we all pitch in to help them. There is an unspoken respect and loyalty among us, that is a very strong bond. Jeff and Bree are pillars of the community, in that they are in charge of the pony play that goes on at camp.
At the pony show this past summer at camp, Jeff had been complaining that he was always thirsty and couldn't stay hydrated, felt tired all the time, and just couldn't figure out what was wrong. Jeff also owned his own business, and therefore, did not have any health insurance of his own. So, he never went to a doctor. Why should he? Jeff is only in his late 40's. He's a big, strong, healthy guy.
But nobody knew---including Jeff----that he was walking around for a very long time, undiagnosed. It became so bad that Bree finally took him to the ER. That is when they discovered that Jeff has severe diabetes. His sugar level was 700, which is beyond stroke stage. Because it went on so long, his kidneys have now shut down completely. His liver is nearing the end, and he also has pancreatitis and jaundice. He's lost 50 pounds. He looked like a walking corpse, laying in that hospital bed. He looked like a totally different person. He can't even be put on a waiting list for a new kidney right now because the surgery would kill him. He's too weak for it. He will have to go on dialysis for the rest of his life if he makes it through this.
So, please forgive me for doing this, but I'm going to do what you did, Stephen, and put a shameless plug for a charity here, online, for you and everyone who reads this to donate to……the Jeff and Bree GO FUND ME page. This is Jeff, and Bree, at camp…looking healthy and happy, relaxed and rejuvenated. Now he may actually die, only 6 months after this picture was taken. It kills me. We love these people so much.
Steve, if you enjoy my blog, and if you like that I share these types of things with you, these real and true things about my crazy life, then would you please consider spreading the word, and/or donating?
http://www.gofundme.com/helpjeffandbree Please donate as much as you possibly can.
Bo Blaze (another good friend of ours) set up the Go Fund Me page for them, and everyone that we know in the scene has given as much as they can. Jeff has been so out of it that he has no idea. In fact, Bree showed us that, last week, on a good day, he had written on paper "I am worried about the expense." Jeff has since lost his business. He's been in the hospital for nearly 8 weeks. Bree is having a tough time keeping everything together, and her own business is faltering because she isn't there as much. She spends the whole day by Jeff's side, at least 5 days a week.
I leaned over to Jeff, knowing that he could still hear us even if he wasn't quite conscious, and I said, "Hey big guy, the only thing you have to worry about is getting well. The expense of this is going to be helped out by everyone----Pete and I, and so many others in the scene who love you. We have all set up a fund to donate to, so you're not alone, we are here for you, and we want to see you get the hell out of this hospital and come to camp next summer!" The sides of his mouth tremored a little, as if he was trying to smile. We told him that we had to come see him to let him know that everyone is worried, everyone is praying and rooting for him, and that he will soon have more visitors too.
It broke my heart to see him laying there, looking so awful, feeling in my gut the sad intuition that he's not going to make it. It further broke my heart to see Bree, being so chipper and happy and positive about everything, knowing that inside she's about to crash and burn. He is her entire world. I cannot even imagine being at camp without Jeff, so I know she can't either.
Mortality sucks. We're all walking around like ticking time bombs about to croak, from any little thing, whether it's a germ that may be lurking inside us for a long time….or from a fast moving bus that slams into us from out of nowhere. I stood there, with my hospital gown and gloves on (Jeff is in ICU), and thought to myself, "Dear God, if this is what diabetes can do to a perfectly healthy young man like Jeff, please spare Pete and me from the same fate. Let us get hit by a bus instead." Lingering in a hospital bed near death just is NOT something I want to do. Not ever. And I don't think I could handle seeing Pete in that situation. I mean, like Bree, I know I would have no choice, so I would HAVE to handle it, but deep down in my gut, I know I'd be a fucking mess.
The difference is, Pete and I caught our diabetes very early on, and it is managed by medications, diet and exercise. I'll admit, I haven't been as diligent with the diet and exercise as I should be, but seeing Jeff really made me realize just how serious this damned disease can be. I remember when it was actually a death sentence if you were diagnosed with it years ago. Jeff let it go way too long, and his body is now fighting it as best as it can. It just looked to me like he's losing the fight. I hope I'm wrong about that. I hope he proves everybody wrong and fights it and WINS. I hope he will be able to go to camp at least for one day to see the pony show---which will no doubt be in his honor. He is the one who always MC's the entire thing from start to finish every year. Without him, it's a huge loss to everybody, not just those into pony play.
Anyway, yeah we're all kinky people, but we're not crazy, we're not freaks….we are human. We just have a different way of thinking, playing, and living. That's all. There is nothing wrong with any of us. In fact, some of the most intelligent, and prominent people along the east coast are involved in kink. One of Bo's girls knows Dan Savage's husband very well, in fact. And Dan Savage is a favorite among all of us, because he speaks the truth and explains us all very well to others who don't understand.
Well, I'd better get back to doing some housework and getting ready for the selling of my hats this coming weekend. I just wanted to share Jeff and Bree with you, because I love them so much. And I love YOU so much too.
Bye for now. Love, Rebecca ps. I cannot even write about Neal's upcoming PAY PER VIEW wedding. Steve Smith is helping him perform a song called "Triumph of Love," even. Sigh. I don't know if you plan on being there, but my gut intuition says, "I doubt it."
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