I hope you'll have a great birthday doing whatever you like! If I could, my friend, I would give you more time with Kellie as a gift. I know that would mean a lot to you. I wish I could give you that.
Let's see…I haven't felt like writing lately because I have been sick for about 3 weeks so far, with the "creeping crud." It's like a cold that won't go away. I've gone to the doctor and had a Z-pack of antibiotics, as well as cough syrup, but even THAT hasn't helped much.
So mostly I have been sleeping, coughing, and feeling like crap these past few weeks. Wooo hoo.
I've been watching the Facebook chickies with their Steve Perry pages all wishing you a happy birthday, starting 2 weeks ago. They make these backgrounds and put your face in them, which is rather odd if you ask me. I mean, if somebody handed me a birthday card with MY face on it, I would be like, "Uhhhh…gee thanks." I guess it keeps them busy and out of jail though, so what the heck.
Still not sure I'm handling this "poly" stuff very well…I mean, if there were stated "how to's" somewhere, that would be helpful. But each group is different, and there really ARE no "how to's."
Like, "Number 1, communication is priority." and "Number 2, privacy levels need to be agreed upon," and "Number 3, have a sit down discussion meeting once a month to make sure everything is okay." That kind of thing would be immensely helpful.
I mean, I don't want to know what kind of nooky my husband is having with these other women, ya know? Keep that private, I don't have any interest in knowing. It gives me the willies. I guess you could say I'd rather be willfully ignorant of such things, than to know every last detail. I mentioned to Pete last night (with Sally there), that I could have used a hug from him on the anniversary of Miep Gies' death five years ago, but he wasn't here. I mean, that leaves ME in an awkward situation, of "should I call him and say "I haz a sad, come hug me," and ruin the time he's scheduled with her? Or would that be passive aggressive soap opera crap? I don't want passive aggressive soap opera crap.
Anyway, so I'm trying to deal with a part-time roommate husband. It is strange. I mean, just when I think our lives are finally starting to get back to normal, his mom has passed, now we can focus on just the two of us, suddenly there are FOUR of "us." It messes with my head. I have a journalistic way of thinking, there has to be a beginning, a middle, and an end with everything resolved as a happy ending, but this has completely thrown me off that path into chaos. I have no reference of experience to go by, I have no idea how to deal with it, nobody I talk to really understands it, and it just leaves me feeling like I'm on some runaway roller coaster.
Well anyway, hey, did you call me last night? It was 2:34 a.m. (my time) and somebody from San Diego called my phone. Left no message though. I'm afraid to call the number back to ask. You are the only person I know who lives near that area, so hey, if it WAS you, call me back silly man!! I mean GEEZ at least leave a message. :)
Most likely it was some total stranger who had a pocket call by accident.
Okay, Stephen, I'm off to get the day started. Hope you enjoy the birthday, it is snowing like crazy here, though we don't even have more than an inch on the ground. Pretty mild winter so far.
I'll try to write more often, now that I'm finally starting to feel better.
Love you lots….xoxoxo And believe me when I say, Kellie is still with you.
Love, Rebecca
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