New York City Broadway Conference...and Happy Birthday!

Dear Steve, Happy Birthday!! No, I didn't forget!! If you see my Facebook page, you'll know I'm not fibbing.  I have just been gone all day long.

Pete, Sally, Judy and I are all in New York City to attend the first annual Broadway Con. It's a lotta screaming, singing cosplay teenagers, and I had a headache by the time we left. Nobody has "indoor voices" anymore. I don't know why.

Ben Vereen is here, he's very cool! The original cast of Rent was there today (I haven't seen that one yet). The current cast of Hamilton was there too. It was interesting to hear them tell stories of how their lives changed when the got the audition.

We are going to see Allegiance (with George Takei) Sunday night, too! And last night, we got tickets to go see a taping of the Colbert Late Show!! THAT was FUN!!

A comedian called Pete up to the stage because he was loudest when the guy asked how loud we could cheer for Colbert. So the comedian asks Pete, "So where are you from?" And then, "who are you here with?" And Pete says, "well, I'm here with my wife, my girlfriend and my other girlfriend!"

The comedian almost dropped the microphone. He says, "Dude! I want to be YOU!" And then---as Judy started to have a meltdown---the comedian called for all of us to come to the stage!! I was scared to death. Judy was saying "I resent this!" And she refused to go, as Sally and I started going to the stage. I didn't pay much attention to her, but she is a Jewish American Princess Attention Whore toxic piece of dead weight full of negativity.

So we go up there to the stage, and the comedian asks me if I think about what they are doing when Pete goes to stay at Sally's once a week. I looked at the guy like he was crazy, and said "No! Jealousy is a waste of energy!" And he was totally flabbergasted. Then I said, "I'd rather spend that energy to find myself a boyfriend!"

So then his mind is totally blown. "Wow! Wow, just....damn...wow!" And then he bowed down to Pete, like, "I'm not worthy!" And thanked us. So we went back to our sears and I told Pete on the way that Judy was having a tantrum.

She sat there the entire time with an angry face, arms crossed, and silent. Pouting about something that she resented, apparently. But I don't play that childish shit so I ignored her and enjoyed the show! Christian Slater was on, and Iggy Pop too.

When the show ended, and we started walking back to the hotel, Judy took off in front of us, still angry, and we had no idea why. So we just ignored her again. Suddenly, she spins around, and begins SCREAMING to the entire world how she was pissed because (to Pete),  "YOU OUTED ME!"

Now, people are walking all round us, and she's yelling her head off about "how DARE you!" And "You did NOT ask my permission to out me!"  So we are standing there, my fists were clenched and I thought, "if she hits Pete, I'm gonna kick her ass." Pete calmly answered, "I didn't "out" you. I never mentioned your name. Nobody knows you here anyway." She screamed at him "that's not the point! You didn't ask me first! You just took it upon yourself to OUT ME as POLY!"  So, after trying to calmly discuss it, Pete finally yelled "Oh just fuck off Judy!" And then she screamed "Fuck YOU, asshole!" And she stormed off.

We just stood there, blinking. Sally says, "Ohhhh I'm SO gonna kick her ass." And I said, "SHE just OUTED HERSELF to a hundred thousand people on the street by screaming like that."

Then, we made our way back to the hotel, and I said to Pete, "time to END IT with Judy." He said, "yeah, I'm starting to see that she's not really worth the price of admission."

So the three of us decided that we would just go on ignoring her. I said, "what an ungrateful bitch. YOU paid for her train ticket to get here from DC, YOU paid for her to have a separate hotel room, and YOU bought the $250 ticket for her to go to this Broadway thing. Tell her elitist, entitled ass to pack her shit, cancel her hotel room, return the ticket to the Con, and tell her to take a BUS home."

Her hotel room door slammed, and a few minutes later, she comes knocking on our door. I didn't get up to answer it. Neither did Sally. So Pete goes to the door and she says, "we need to talk." He says, "not unless it is a civil conversation." So she agreed and he went to her room.

I said to Sally, "if he's not back within a half hour, I will go over there and tell her to pack her shit and go home." We heard some yelling, and another slam of her door after a few minutes. Pete comes in, and Sally says, "You didn't CAVE did you?" He replied, "No, but we both apologized." (That kinda seems like he caved, at least to me. Apologize to HER?! For WHAT?!)

So a little bit later, she knocks on our door again, asking to come in. She sits on our bed, starts crying, and Sally's like, "I'm going down to the lobby to blow off some steam." And she left. (If she had stayed, she said later, she would have kicked her ass). She doesn't like Judy at all, and hasn't since day one. I've known her for a long time, but I'm never going to be her friend. And now I am telling Pete to end it with her. He's agreed to be civil (and Sally and I too) this weekend to her, but after that, we won't have to see her anymore.

Sally blocked her from her phone (because Judy started a group message and was dictating what we would be doing at this Con, when and where, sending 20 texts or more, driving us ALL batty before we even got here. She also refuses to talk to her.

I, on the other hand, enjoy killing people with kindness, especially if they don't expect that reaction. It messes them up. So, I have been nice to her. "So glad you worked things out." (She sat here crying for another HOUR after Pete and Sally left to go to a stripper club for awhile. I opted to stay in the hotel room. I just sat here playing my online slot games, ignoring her and letting her cry. She, at one point, turns to me with an angry face and says, I do NOT give you permission to out me, ever." I smiled and said, "Heh, why would I?!" She didn't answer.

I thought to myself, if she's THAT embarrassed to be poly with me and my husband, she can kiss both of our butts goodbye. Pete is trying to just be civil to her, but Sally and I are on guard, ready to beat her face in if she does or says ANYTHING else that we don't like.

So today had just a SMIDGE of tension between us all, to say the least. That's how I spent MY day on your birthday.

This poly stuff can get ugly sometimes. Sally and I get along great though, so the 3 of us are fine without Judy around to be a huge buzzkill all the time.

Yep!! Good times!!

Judy left to meet a friend tonight and see a show with her, so the 3 of us decided to go for a walk to Times Square for awhile. That place is so overwhelming to me. Too much stimuli going on. Too much noise, people in costumes trying to grab at me to pay for a picture taken with them, cars honking horns, sirens, and constantly changing pictures on the buildings that are distracting. I am exhausted.

It has been a long day, and we have 2 more to go at this thing. Sigh. I think I am the only person in this entire Con that doesn't know much about theater, acting, and musical lyrics to Broadway shows. So I am a bit bored. But, I splurged at the vending area and got myself a beautiful handmade bag with gorgeous decorations all over it.  Later I went back to get another bag, and the lady was so happy, she gave me a pretty pair of black gloves, for free, and reduced the price of a hat 50% for me.

Anyway, tomorrow I may just bug out and go elsewhere---BUT, it's supposed to snowstorm here tonight, with 8-12 inches of snow expected, with 50 mph winds. So I don't know where I would go, except back to the hotel. I just don't want to be in another huge, loud crowd of people again, at least, not for very long.

 I sincerely hope that you had an enjoyable birthday, ate some cake, and worked on that new album of yours!! Can't WAIT to hear it!!

You are blessed, and loved, by so many!

Bye for now. Love, Rebecca

A happy, happy day---because of you!!

Dear Steve,

hello old friend, how are you? I haven't been as well as I normally am. It has been quite a while since I have written. A lot of things have been happening, and I just feel overwhelmed.

So, today on Facebook, I saw the happy news that you have officially announced that you are working on a new solo album! That is awesome! In fact, that is the best news I have heard in a very long time. Today I have been dancing a jig! I am very happy for you, and I am very much looking forward to hearing it.

To be honest, I have been wondering if you were contemplating rejoining journey, because Steve Smith has rejoined. But, I am actually much happier for you, that you are doing your own thing. I think Smitty has a very forgiving heart, and I'm sure the dollar signs help him decide as well. But I would be very surprised, if you did the same. I hope you never do.

I have had bronchitis for the past month, and it is on the edge of possible pneumonia. I am on my second batch of anti-biotics, and I still feel crappy. But, I have done a lot of things this Summer, and I know I need to update you. Give me a few more days, and I will hopefully be back to a more normal version of myself. All I can do is sleep right now. This whole month of December has been a wash, I just put up our Christmas tree yesterday.

So if there is any comfort for you to take from my absence, just know that you are not the only one I have not kept in touch with. I just wanted you to know I still think about you, and I am very happy that you are writing and recording again. It's in your blood, whether you like it or not!

I will write more soon, and I will be very very happy when your new album comes out. Will you be doing a tour? I don't expect it, but like everyone else, my fingers are crossed.

OK my friend, just want you to know I love you. And I will write more soon, I promise. I think 2015 has been a very bizarre year, so I am hoping the new year will be less chaotic.

Bye for now, you sexy beast. Love you lots, and thank you for what is probably the best Christmas gift I have ever received. You rock my world! Love, Rebecca

Summer's last hurrah...

Dear Steve, 

Hello and happy end of summer to you. I hope you have had some fun! I will be gone every weekend in September, so I wanted to write before the chaos begins.

Hey, I have an idea! Why don't you get in a plane, and fly to Virginia Beach the last two weekends in September! That is when we will be there! We have a timeshare there. We are staying for the entire week. I am looking forward to that!  So come on over, and we will have some seafood, or maybe some vegan stuff. Sally will be with Pete and I, and she is vegan also. We can even have mimosas in the morning! How can you pass that up?! 

Get over here!!! You KNOW you want to!!!

I guess you could say that will be our last hurrah for the summer. I have the feeling it will be an early winter, as we already have leaves falling off of the trees. I do love the fall season though, especially the beautiful colors in the trees as you drive. I love Halloween too!

In other news, I used to enjoy having "tea parties" (NOT the political kind), with some local female friends. I would go all out and decorate with a theme each time. I had fun doing that, and the ladies all seemed happy to attend. I think I have had four of them. I would have 12-14 friends attend and bring a dish to pass. 

However, all good things do come to an end. One afternoon, a close friend of mine came over to tell me that she and all the other girls were concerned about me. They feel that my house is too cluttered with stuff; and it was their assumption that I am having difficulties with this poly relationship. She said they all felt that I was trying to "fill a void in my life" by having so much stuff. They also felt concerned that I may be turning into a "hoarder."

The context of this conversation is based upon my last tea party in July. I decorated my entire kitchen and dining room as a picnic theme. However, this being Pittsburgh, this time ladies showed up with alcohol and nobody drank tea. Not only that, but a few brought their husbands. And, then the same friend I mentioned above had a boyfriend come to the party. I had never met him before. They promptly went into our large living room, and proceeded to get naked.

She says to me, apologetically, "oh I hope this is OK with you?" I stood there looking at her, disgusted, and said, "hey whatever." And then I closed the French doors. (I was-- to put it mildly--rather annoyed). But, I can't very well be a prude, now, can I?! These so-called "friends" had turned this simple tea party into a play party. At least, that is what they were hoping to accomplish.

 This same friend, later had the audacity to contact me by text, asking if she and her boyfriend could come over and use one of our guest bedrooms. I kid you not. Does she really believe that we are running a brothel, I wonder?   We were out of town, so I told her no, and if her boyfriend really needed sex, he could splurge on a hotel room. What a friend, huh?!

The tea party took place only five days after we returned from camp. Meaning, I was still unpacking, putting things away, and doing laundry. I have a tiny laundry closet, that has a stackable washer and dryer. There is no room for a table, or any other place to fold the clean clothing. So I had stacks of folded clothes on the couches in my living room. (Note: I have since created a folding table in the adjacent closet). 

Apparently, this caused the women to feel as though I had a tornado go through my home. Needless to say, my feelings were a bit hurt. I mean, it seems to me, that a good friend would say, "I see that you are swamped with housework right now. Let me help you out. Put me to work." Or, even better, wouldn't CARE.

But that was not the end of the conversation. Another point she brought up was suggesting that, instead of giving everyone a gift bag full of tiny presents, which I had done after every party as they left, she would rather have me go to lunch with her, or a movie, or shopping, etc. "Those bags of goodies you give to us, often land in the goodwill pile," she said.  That made me feel real happy. (Sarcasm).

My feelings were hurt.

Now, I do know that this female friend had just gone to the liquor store to purchase wine. Whether or not she had downed a bottle, I don't know. But the conversation, mostly one-sided, suddenly twisted and turned into various directions. She was distraught over hating her mother, trying to be poly with her husband, and her boyfriend, and having difficulty, as well as feeling lost and overwhelmed.

Projecting her own issues on to ME, as an assumption of why MY house was messy that day-- not to mention the fact that the women all showed up two hours early--- made me feel like a total loser. I would have had all of those clothes put away and other items removed that were cluttered. But they came early, and I was in the shower.

Anyway, long story short, I no longer have tea parties, and when I posted my hurt feelings on Facebook, without naming any names, Sally defended me to this friend, and THEY began arguing. 

Again, I remained mostly silent throughout this entire ordeal. I had told this friend that it was fine, I appreciated their concern, but it really wasn't a problem. I don't think she heard one word of it, however.

So Sally and this friend begin a bitch session toward each other. Sally felt that this friend had hurt me, and she was simply defending me. But this friend decided that Sally had threatened her, and that she would not back down if they had a fight.  Two days later, another female "friend" contacted me to say she and her husband were worried about the 3 of us all coming to their party that weekend, they didn't want any trouble or fighting. Obviously, Sally and I did not attend. 

I no longer speak to that friend, nor do I speak to any of the other ladies either. What is the point? Having female friends, is something I am apparently not very good at. I have always been one of the guys. Guys are much easier to deal with.

I mean, even you understand the baseball "three strikes you're out" rule. Am I right? So, if you screw up three times, you are done. Bye-bye. Simple. Women, on the other hand,  are not as simple. It seems to me that many people thrive on creating drama where there really is none. I have never been like that, nor do I ever want to be around people like that.

Life is way too short to squander time and energy away on unnecessary drama queens. So, I am once again finding myself without friends. I do not mind, I would rather have a peaceful existence then to have drama queens judging me and unfairly assuming things about me. That is not my definition of a true friend.

On the same day that this situation exploded, my sister and my husband had a slight disagreement on Facebook, regarding my visit to Michigan that was coming up. My mom posted a photo. Of Sally Pete and me. My sister wanted to know who Sally was. My mom answered the girlfriend. At that point my sister, not understanding anything about Polly, jumped to the wrong conclusion that Pete is cheating on me.

Sheeny blew up at me, because it was Father's Day, and I had written a paragraph thinking my mom for being both parents to me as I grew up. I have not spoken to my dad in nearly 25 years. I do not like him. However, I also do not badmouth him to my sisters, Because they both have a good relationship with him.

So my sister, who had been drinking that day I might add, decided that Pete is a jerk, that I am being hurt by him, and that this Sally person was not welcome to come visit her home. When Pete answered we can cancel the visit, regarding me, my sister answered with "I have a Smith and Wesson and I know how to use it."

Of course, I know that she does not in fact on a Smith & Wesson. Nor has she ever fired a gun in her entire life. So this was a false bravado alcoholic conversation. But at that point, I felt stuck in the middle, trying to keep the peace between my sister, my mom, and Pete. 

I also felt caught in the middle of Sally and my other friend who were arguing about me. It must have been a full moon, I don't know. It just felt like everyone around me was caught up in some drama, that wasn't even started BY me. I was just the scapegoat. Apparently it was "take it out on Rebecca day." 

Nobody warned me.

I tried explaining to my sister, who is very opinionated, that it was not cheating on me because I allow him to have Sally as a girlfriend. She still was unable to wrapper head around that concept, which is understandable. But then she went too far, and accused me of "hating our dad because he cheated on mom, but now suddenly it's OK for MY hubby to cheat on me?!" 

I felt unfairly attacked from all sides. Since then, my sister has not apologized. Neither has the other friend. So, I am just avoiding them both. I did see my sister last month when I drove to. Michigan for my best friend's 25th wedding anniversary. She did not mention anything about it, so I didn't either.

I dislike drama queens, to complicate my life. I just like having a peaceful life. If that means having nobody around, then so be it. If those are my only choices, I choose solitude.

My best friend Laurie came to visit me, a few weeks ago. She stayed with us for two weeks, and during that time she spent at least three quarters of the time asking questions and jumping to conclusions about the polyamory. Personally, I am getting very tired and weary of feeling defensive about it. She is very vanilla, and very Catholic. I think (as a stereotype), she also has a rather closed mind.

Her husband watches Fox news every day. Enough said.

So trying to explain reasons, interests, the whole shebang, really becomes quite tedious. And I think our society has been for a very long time, concerned too much with the private lives of people behind closed bedroom doors, so that they can feel superior and cast judgment. It is frustrating.

Those two ladies in Virginia Beach who met you a few months ago, actually last fall I believe, don't keep in touch very much at all with me either. One of them contacted me this summer, but after a few brief calls, that's it so far. Kind of sad, I don't know what it is about me that makes it hard to have female friends.

Other than all that, I have enjoyed most of the summer. It just goes by way too fast.

I hope to be able to carve out more time to write to you on this blog. Sometimes, however, I feel like I am writing to a brick wall. It becomes daunting, and I run out of things to write about.

So, until next time.....xoxo

Love, Rebecca