I am annoyed beyond belief.

Well I don't know about YOU Stephen, but yesterday I had the day from hell.

Of course, Mondays always suck, so it's really no big surprise.  This mother-in-law of mine is skating on very thin ice, though, and I told Pete I'm going to push her ass IN soon, if she doesn't knock this shit off. She sits there, listening to me call the assisted living place to say "Florence wants to come for the day to have lunch, then current events, and then Bible study..." but then she refuses to get dressed, and decides FIVE MINUTES before we have to leave, that she doesn't want to go.  GRRRRRR.  So then I look like an ass by calling them back to say, "She's changed her mind."  So, I have therefore decided that we are NEVER going back to the assisted living place again.  It's too much of a hassle to deal with.

I wanted her to go there so that I would have time (and UNinterrupted time), to scrub her rugs in her bedroom.  I told her this.  I told her it would HELP ME if she's not in the way, and if I can focus on getting it done, before she came back, without being interrupted by taking care of her.  That didn't seem to matter. She doesn't give a shit about me.  So, I started to scrub the rug in the morning, thinking she was on her way to the place soon, but when she pulled a 360 and decided not to go, I put the rug scrubber away and took it back to the store.  I told her, "If you don't feel like going there, then I don't feel like scrubbing your rugs." And I kept the $25 security deposit for my time and energy in doing half her room.

My mom says I shouldn't take things personally, but I do.

Then later, she gets herself dressed and puts on her shoes, and also grabs clothes from her closet that I had JUST HUNG UP, and drapes them over her walker---along with her purse---and she comes out saying, "Okay I am ready to go now."  I said, "Where are you going and why do you have all these clothes on your walker?" She says, "Well I will need to have more clothing when I go with you, so I'm bringing these along."  I said, "Florence, you didn't have the energy to go to the assisted living place, so you aren't going ANYWHERE today, with me or anybody else. Go put them back, I am cooking dinner."

She comes out a few minutes later STILL with clothes draped over her walker, and her purse, and I said, "FLORENCE, take these clothes OFF your walker, and put them BACK in your closet, you're not going anywhere today."  I had to do this THREE MORE TIMES before I finally grabbed the clothes off the walker myself and threw them on her bed, and took her purse off it, and said, "THERE. You don't NEED THESE CLOTHES. Now take your walker and go into the living room and sit down in your chair so I can finish cooking dinner!!" GRRRRRRRR.  It's fucking maddening.  I have never had kids, so I don't know how the hell to do this stuff.  She drives me crazy.

We found out on Sunday that somebody else has made an offer on the house we want to buy.  I have been depressed and irritable ever since.  Pete and I talked it over, and I thought we had agreed, that it would be too risky to offer them anything at this point, but neither one of us wanted to let it go...so without telling me, Pete went to work and made them a cash offer of $240K, which wipes out most of our savings, and also borrows from his mother's savings without asking his brother-in-law permission.  Pete said, "It's easier to ask for forgiveness, than to ask permission."  Neither my mom nor I care for that philosophy one bit.  In fact, it disgusts me.  He knows he's doing a wrong thing, but he doesn't care, and nothing I say about it will matter.

So I wrote Pete a scathingly angry letter on email, telling him that I am sick and tired of never being LISTENED TO, why the fuck am I even HERE, to be his goddamned house slave? To be his mother's fucking nurse maid? TO HELL WITH THAT BULLSHIT, I'm fed up and I'm going to LEAVE HIM if things don't improve around here.  He did this without talking to me first, and that pisses me off. We're supposed to be a team, working together, but he just went ahead AFTER we agreed NOT TO, and did it anyway.  It's too little too late anyway, so he's caused me a huge amount of anger for nothing. How STUPID CAN HE BE??  So now we're sitting here biting our fingernails, waiting on the home owners. They had made a counter offer to the other people, too, so all THEY have to do is say "ok" and we lose. So Pete figured going to them with a cash offer would trump the whole thing, but I don't think it'll work.

I'm highly annoyed, to say the least, by him and his stupid retarded mother.  It's my birthday in two weeks, and this is really a shitty fucking birthday present, to be homeless, and to have to live elsewhere in a house that I won't like one bit.  I refuse to like any other house besides this one, actually.  No other house is going to make me happy.  So, I'm highly upset because I had my heart set on this one, and I've grown attached to it, and every time I get even CLOSE to something good in life, it gets ripped away. Now I'll have to SETTLE for some OTHER house that I don't like.  And that depresses the fuck outta me.

Anyway, I forgot to add some things to my other message to you...

*  I love Steve McQueen movies....Papillion, and The Great Escape are two that I love, but I enjoy them all, because he is one sexy damned beast.
* I also love Dave Koz, Richard Marx, Def Leppard, Shirley Horn's "Here's To Life," and lots of other music...Sade...Luther Vandross...Marvin Gaye...all of those other awesome singers of days gone by like Frank Sinatra, Roy Orbison, Ella Fitzgerald, Sarah Vaughn, and Billy Holliday.

Anyway, I'm off to my chiropractor, then to the doctor later with Florence. If she's not dressed and ready by the time we have to leave, I'm going to get into the car, and drive as far away from this place as I possibly can.  It's a good thing I'm going to Michigan next week, to get away from these idiots awhile.

Bye for now. Love, Rebecca