Amazing success...and then some!

Hi Stephen,

We just got back from a day of yummy fun naughtiness.  I gotta tell ya, even if you disapprove of my "hobby," my bj class went over HUGE.  I was very happily surprised.  I had 20% of all the attendees of this event sitting there in front of me.  Mostly women, but 2 very eager men were there.  I talked for TWO HOURS STRAIGHT about this subject, and I got so much awesome feedback, great questions, ideas, and things to add to my presentation---so even I learned some things.  Very cool.  For instance, do you have any idea of there are oral condoms that are NOT made of latex? Some people have an allergic reaction to latex of any kind.  I have no clue what the answer is to that question.  I'll have to do some research in case that question comes up next time.

The two men who attended had a few interesting squirms as they sat there, which I could see out of the corner of my eye.  I had put the test dummy into my mouth, to demonstrate some techniques, and I saw one of them readjust himself---so I turned to him and said, "I see that this makes you SQUIRM a little, ya liked that, didja?!"  And he actually BLUSHED.  It was hilarious.  I said, "That's a GOOD THING! It's ALL GOOD, don't be embarrassed! I love it when that happens!"  And then he wasn't embarrassed anymore.  Then I turned to the women and as I pointed over towards him, I said to them, "Ladies, that there is a massive BONER happening RIGHT NOW, just from the THOUGHT of what I'm doing to a TOY.  So if THAT doesn't give you some inclination about the power of a great blow job on a guy, nothing will."

It was an "a-rousing" success, to say the least. hehehehehehe  (GROAN).  Bad pun....but intended.

Sooooooo...one chick especially had the most questions, but also shares in my passion for this subject, and she has some medical limitations and such that I really couldn't answer everything, like "how do I make myself make more saliva?" (I've got no clue...I just said, "Use more lube.")  Things like that made her come to me after the class ended, and ask me if I would be willing to exchange contact info, so she can get my help in figuring out things like that, with her.  I thought that was pretty cool.

She actually gave me an idea of something fun to do with the crocheted penises that my mother made me ----they are hollow like a sock, but they are made out of brown and cream colored yarn, with fuzzy "pubic hair" around the two balls---and she says to me, "OH MY GOD, those are AWESOME, you could cover up your TOYS with those, to keep them clean, especially glass dildo's, or DICK WARMERS for the winter months!  And you could also use them as gift baskets---like, you could put a couple of blow pops inside them, with your phone number, and hand them to a Dom at a party or something! Or, you could put condoms inside them, or some kind of sexual toy, or whatever---these would be a HUGE sell, if you brought them as a vendor and sold them with this class! You could probably get $10 bucks apiece!"

So now my mom is making 50 of them for me to bring to camp.  :)  Woooo hooooo!!!  A family business. Ya just can't beat that with a stick my friend.  It's just too beautiful, ya know?  Too awesomely naughty beautiful to even mess with.  It is a HAVE TO.  There's no way around it.  Yep.  Gotta happen.

I got some awesome feedback from the men who attended, too.  They were very impressed with the things we all talked about, especially the gag reflex issues.  NOBODY knew that you can TRAIN yourself NOT to gag.  I was shocked by that, actually.  Yes, you can train yourself NOT to gag, but it takes practice, do it when you're by yourself, a few times every day, just touch that uvula in the back of your throat. The first few times, sure, you're gonna gag.  Keep touching it.  Touch it for longer periods of time, rub it, and just "get to know it."  If YOU don't know your own body, how can your DOM know your body??  Common sense.  If you rub and touch that uvula enough, that gag reflex will diminish, and eventually, go away.

That same woman asked me, "But what if I NEED to throw up, but now that my uvula is desensitized, I can't do it?"

I think my jaw hit the floor.  I have NO FUCKING CLUE what the answer to that question is.  All I could think of to say was, "Uhhh, why would you WANT to make yourself puke?"  She said, "Well, sometimes if I eat something that gives me a stomach ache, I go make myself throw up and I feel better."  (I'm thinking she might be bulimic).  Hey, Princess Diana was.  It's fairly common apparently, but I have never done it.  So, I just kinda winged it and said, "Well first of all, if you do that too often, you're gonna rot your teeth out.  If you need to puke, your body will make it happen no matter what you've done with your uvula. Your body TELLS YOU what it needs, you just have to learn how to LISTEN to it. I would NOT recommend making yourself puke---especially if it's a FEAR when you give a blow job. That really seems to defeat the whole purpose of training yourself NOT to gag."

Again, common sense.  But wow, that's really NOT so common anymore, is it.

These are people who are kinky, who do all sorts of stuff like wax play, fire play, hard takedowns, massive bondage and suspensions, you name it....but this whole blow job thing is like a mystery to some people, which really astounds me.  Pete said to me that in the 70's, it was viewed by most people as a very "bad girl" thing to do, and a "naughty boy" thing to do, some guys thought of it as GAY SEX, and didn't even want a woman to do that to him, because it was just thought of as something gay that men did with other men.

Now, that surprised me a lot.  I'm a bit too young to know much about sexual 70's stuff......I mean, sure, I have read (and proudly OWN) "Fear of Flying" by Erica Jong.....but WOW that whole concept is so STUPID!!  Really?!  Is that the case?? (You would know more about it than I do, Stephen, being that you're 20 years older than me).  But, okay, I'll take Pete's word for it.  Maybe THAT is why Playboy doesn't venture in that direction very much.  It's a generational taboo.  I never knew that, actually, and maybe that's why I don't have any hangups about it.  (Gee, maybe I WAS born in the RIGHT decade after all). hehehehehe

I mean, nowadays, ask any 20-something (or hell, ask any HIGH SCHOOLER), if they are a virgin and they will say, "Yes I am because all I do is blowjobs. THAT'S NOT SEX."

How the hell did THAT attitude come out of the 70's "taboo-gay-man" crap??  That's pretty wild.

At one point, I said to all the women in the class, (after explaining that sometimes, when I craved giving someone oral sex, I would meet a guy in a parking lot and just give him one---and never see him again---DISCLAIMER...I did that a total of 3 times, AFTER seeing their STD reports from the doctor AND getting to know them a little bit FIRST. I might be a slutty chick sometimes, but I am not stupid)----I told these ladies, "it's a sad truth, ladies, that if YOU don't learn how to do these things for him orally, he WILL get those needs met, by somebody ELSE, just like ME who is out there, craving it, and ready to give him what he needs."

THAT statement actually made the WOMEN squirm.  (And rightly so).

I said, "Sorry but it's brutal honesty, and that's how I roll.  I cut through the crap and get down to the truth of things, even when it's a harsh thing to...well....swallow."  (BA DUM TISH).  Groan.

Ah well, anyway, it was a very well attended, interesting, and engaging class.  I was happily surprised by it all, and I had no idea that I sat there for 2 hours talking about this stuff.  I passed around some flavored oils too---let everybody taste a couple----and I said something they did not know about those----if you put a flavored oil on his penis to give him a blow job, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, put that penis in your TWAT afterwards, because HELLO, it's SUGAR, and guess what sugar does to your TWAT ladies?  It gives you a YEAST INFECTION!  And if you let a yeast infection go too long without treating it, that shit can turn into a real nasty KIDNEY infection---which happened to ME, (I had what the doctors called "honeymoon cystitis" once, which translates into "too much sex too often"...I had a boyfriend once who was in the Navy, nuff said), and it landed me in a HOSPITAL with a 107 temperature for 5 days straight.  I NEARLY DIED FROM IT.

Yep, so all those chickies you see wrestling in the chocolate pudding?  BAD BAD IDEA....you never see those same women doing it TWICE, do ya?!  Nope.  They're too busy scratching their hoo-ha and getting treated at the hospital.  Just don't EVER put anything sugary in your twat.  Reallllllly bad idea.  Not fun.  I told them to think of it being JUST AS BAD as putting a penis that has been in your butt, into your cootch right afterwards----EVERYBODY knows NOT to do THAT, right??  Never go from the back door to the front!!  Well, they were actually quite surprised about this sugary revelation.  (Seems like common sense to me, but I had no idea that THEY didn't know about it).  So, there's another SAFETY thing I need to add to my presentation.

I even mentioned something that I THOUGHT they would all have known about, I mean it's all over the internet porn sites----but some Asian women can actually POP a ping-pong ball clear across the room right out of her twat.  Swear to God.  SOME women can actually smoke a cigarette in their twats. (I have NO IDEA WHY THE HELL YOU WOULD WANT TO DO THAT).  But I have SEEN it. And yes, if you're like ME, and you know how to work those klegel muscles, you can train yourself to do that thrusting move with just about ANYTHING you put in there.  I did it once with a guy I was seeing at the Museum, actually, he was using a vibrator on me, and before it got too intense, I said, "Hey, stand back a minute."  He did, and when he saw that thing fly across the room, he did the McCauley Culkin face with both hands on his cheeks, and said, "YOU IS MAGIC! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN!"

Ah well, I don't mind talking about this stuff, frankly, openly and honestly, with anyone who wants to. I guess that makes me WEIRD, compared to most women.  So be it.  I'm weird.  Sorry!!  That's me!!

I am not even embarrassed to tell you this:  After the class ended, I stood up from my chair, and discovered that I was WET from all that talkin' about blow jobs.  Yep.  Moist as a sponge.  Nice, huh?!!  Kind of an added bonus!!

In fact, that same chick who gave me her info and told me she wanted to make herself puke, actually HAD A SPONTANEOUS ORGASM, just from hearing a man talk in a different class about how he does this Tantric thing, thrusting deep into his girl, holding her hips right next to his, and rubbing the base of his penis against the surrounding area of her twat......not touching the clit or anything, just rubbing around it with his surrounding area.....and how it gets her off.  She had tears coming out of her eyes, and she was all out of breath, and all flustered....that's how intense these classes can be.

Anyway, that's enough sex talk for now.  Try to breathe, and take it all in if you can, you poor geezer. Oh Stephen, you sexy beast, I'm sure you've had some wild nooky in your youth too, with details that would make even ME blush.  But, I don't mean to give you heart failure or anything, so I'll spare you anymore gruesome details.  But OH how much FUN those details can be!!!

KISS KISS, love you lots Mr. Troubadour. Bye for now.

Love, Rebecca