Another death....

Hi Steve,

This is a picture of my former DC roommate, Monique, and her mother.  We called her mom Memere, which is French for mother I think.  She was a Holocaust Survivor, too.  At 15 years old, she crawled underneath Nazi trucks to drain the gasoline tanks.  I don't know if she's still alive.  Her first name was Yvette, and when this photo was taken in 2005, she was 73 years old.

But today, I received a shocking text message from my friend David--he owned the house that Monique and I shared with him---he told me that Monique died today.

Now, Monique and I had been friends for several years, but when she started disrespecting David and doing things that he would not approve of (he had been working in Manila for several years so it was just Monique and I sharing his house for awhile), I put my foot down about it, and told her she could not do those things while he was away, and she got all bent out of shape about it.  I told David what she had been doing, and he was NOT happy about it.  In fact, he evicted her.  She took advantage of David a lot, borrowed money from him and never paid him back, etc., and when she got caught by the IRS for not paying her taxes for 5 years, well, the fit hit the shan, so to speak.  She was a hot mess.

But I would never wish such a tragic end to her, and it makes me sad that she's gone.  I just SAW her a few months ago, in DC, and even though she saw me too, neither one of us spoke to each other at all.  How can you know that that might be the last time you ever see someone alive?

Apparently, Monique developed cancer that was inoperable. They gave her massive chemo treatments, but that only caused her liver to fail.  She went into hospice shortly after, and died today.  That's all I know about it, but it was quite a horrible shock to say the least.

Do you ever wonder, Stephen, if Neal might die before you do?  Or vice versa?  How would you feel right NOW if you found out he died unexpectedly?  You haven't spoken to him in a long time.  He isn't exactly your "pal" anymore.  He burned the bridge of friendship many years ago.  Just like Monique did with David and I.  I'll even go so far as to say, Neal is a hot mess.

But, it's really a difficult and awkward feeling, to know that someone I once thought of as a friend is now suddenly gone and we never really got to talk about the problem that ended our friendship before she died. I don't think I have to tell you how much that sucks.

Now, I know in your life, Neal isn't exactly the greatest friend to you, but don't you think maybe enough time has passed, to sit down and talk with him about all that happened, and just bury the hatchet?  Life is too damned short, man, for stupid shit like this.

You don't have to REJOIN the damned BAND either, by doing that. But wouldn't it give you more peace inside yourself, to forgive and forget, and become friends again?  I wish I would have taken some time to do that with Monique.  But, even though I did contact her a couple times via email, she never responded. Monique wasn't exactly my greatest friend either.  But, now I wish I had gone over to say hello to her when I saw her last.

You do realize, though, that if you died tomorrow, Neal would be at your funeral, right?   Oh come on, you know he would.  I cannot imagine that he would be THAT callous of an asshole to snub your funeral.  And if he died, well, I would hope that you would go to his too.  You guys were like brothers for so many years, it just seems a shame to waste so much time and dwell on so much bad history, rather than try to resolve it and work through the anger, and become friends again.  It's not easy to do.  But when is anything GOOD in life, actually EASY to have??

Ah well, it sounds easy, doesn't it.  I know that it isn't.  I wasn't able to do it with Monique.  Maybe you could with Neal, I don't know, but if you don't at least TRY, you'll never know.  Just think about it, ok?

I love ya Stephen.  I have to go now.

Love, Rebecca   ps. I may not go to her funeral, but I will definitely send flowers and a card.